Yesterday, I went on a rant about my husband’s work schedule change and how it was affecting my decision for the length of my maternity leave.
Ironically enough, this morning I had a to-do flagged in my calendar to update my wait list position at a few local daycares. When I first called to get myself on the wait lists, they asked me to call back every 6 months to confirm.
I asked the YMCA what the likelihood of having a part-time infant spot open up would be and they told me they don’t even do part-time! I pulled up a list of other licensed/non-licensed home daycares to see who in my area offers infant care. The list was very limited. I also contacted another very reputable licensed daycare that told me they don’t accept children til 18 months.
As I kept going, I felt myself having what I think was the start of a panic attack. My chest and back felt tight. I had a hard time breathing. I took off my belly band and loosened my sweater. I walked away from the computer and took a few deep breaths.
I see this as a sign. If I am reacting this strongly, then I need to stand up for myself right now. At 35 weeks pregnant, I don’t need to be making decisions about returning to work when my baby hasn’t even arrived yet!
I crunched some numbers last night and determined that returning to work a few months early for 20 hours a week wouldn’t even be worth it due to the hourly rate of part-time childcare. I might as well stay off.
I don’t need any added stress right now and this topic clearly stresses me out! It’s hard to be a working woman in today’s society. Business is business driven. Maternity leave is an inconvenience for businesses. I feel pressure to give my employer an answer I’m not ready to provide.
In the end, my husband and I have come to the conclusion that:
- I can not commit to returning early without knowing how the baby will be and having secured childcare.
- I will return to work after 10 months (mid-August 2016).
- My husband will take the last 2 months as parental leave (mid-August to mid-October 2016)
- Childcare will present itself when the timing is right. We will look into a variety of options towards the end of maternity leave (i.e. part-time nanny, full-time nanny, daycare).
It will all work out.
For other working moms out there, thought you might find this funny: The awkward realities of working and breastfeeding