Sweet, sweet relief!

I woke up this morning with NO NAUSEA!

I have a new friend. His name is Zofran.

When I told my OB that Diclectin wasn’t working, he said, “No messing around. I’m giving you the good stuff“.

So far, I’ve only taken one pill before bed. My OB said I could take up to 3 pills a day. I’m going to try to play with my dosage to get myself on the least amount with the most amount of relief.

It’s crazy how much prego nausea/sickness affects you. Most mornings, I dreaded getting out of bed as that’s when the nausea would hit. I’d struggle to get ready for work, attempt to eat something without puking (which recently was a daily fail) and prepare my package of anti-nausea remedies to battle through the day (soda crackers, ginger ale, preggie pops). I carried a puke bucket with me – especially in the vehicle. Nausea was controlling my life.

This morning, I feel like myself. I ate breakfast without up-chucking it. I have a clear mind. I’m ready for the day.

My one piece of advice to other soon-to-be Momma’s experiencing horrible nausea: Don’t attempt to fight it! Allow yourself the relief. Growing a baby is hard work. When you feel constantly nauseous (because let’s get real – who really only has MORNING sickness?), it’s a major bummer. I was super grumpy. My social life has been majorly lacking. My husband was getting annoyed with my constant sickness. Take back your life and take the damn pill!

The rest of our OB appointment went well. I’m convinced my little one does not like ultrasounds. He did a major flip and curled into a ball when he first tried to scan me. Due to a shitty office layout, I missed seeing the whole thing, but my husband excitedly relayed what he saw to me. The doctor wasn’t concerned with last week’s bleed. I got my requisition to complete the blood portion of the NT testing and hopefully my anatomy scan will be scheduled soon. Yes, the new receptionist is doing a better job now. Kindness and patience paid off.

Tomorrow I’m 13 weeks. It’s hard to believe the first trimester is almost over. ❤

Introducing our gummy bear!

Today was our official ultrasound (even though we’ve had 2 sneak peaks at the OB office). Here is our little baby:



He (I’m going with he until I am proven wrong) is measuring bang on at 7 weeks, 6 days with a heartbeat of 168 bpm.

I had an external tummy ultrasound first, then we switched to the lovely dildocam for a closer look. We didn’t get to hear the heartbeat yet. This ultrasound clinic says they don’t do it that early. Perhaps we will get to hear at our next OB appointment at 9 weeks? The heartbeat flicker was strong and fast. It’s really quite fascinating to see.

We are beyond happy and blessed to be growing one healthy and very much loved baby.

The dreaded red and a trip back to the OB

On Thursday, I was all excited. There were only 2 days to go until we passed the timeline of when we lost our Emme. Things were going so smoothly.

Until the afternoon…

I have been feeling a bit bunged up this week. I know I need to get on top of it before it gets bad, but I wasn’t on my game. I went to the bathroom. It was a typical constipated poop. And I strained a bit to get it out.

Then, I wiped.




OH GOD! Please no! 

The spotting tapered off over the hour to only brown, but the brown latest up until yesterday morning.

Mr. Google declared spotting after a bowel movement to be a fairly common occurrence. If you have a sensitive cervix, the extra pressure could have caused the bleeding.

My fertility clinic said to just take it easy until our upcoming scan on Wednesday, but I knew I couldn’t go through the weekend wondering if my baby was ok or not. My fear was getting the best of me.

I called my OB and got in late yesterday afternoon. He did a scan on his super crappy portable ultrasound machine. He was having a hard time getting a clear picture because my bladder was too full. Unfortunately from my angle, I could NOT see a thing. He said that the baby was significantly larger than the last scan and that there was a flicker of a heartbeat. We didn’t get to hear it though. My husband was able to see it all. When I sat up, the image he had left on the screen was barely anything to be satisfied with. The OB reassured me that everything should be fine. He also sent me for blood work to check my hormone levels.

When I left, I was still a bit panicked. I’m a facts and figures kind of person. I wanted to know the exact size the baby had grown and how many beats per minute. My husband was super excited though. He said the baby was bigger and he most definitely saw the heartbeat. Seeing his excitement calmed me down.

My friend who also had this OB said he’s a man of less words when everything is fine. If something is wrong, he is very thorough. I guess that is also reassuring. I wish his office had better technology, but I am happy with his personality and his level of availability. I know a few other OBs in my city that you would rarely be able to get a same day appointment with. This OB is always willing to ensure you feel comfortable. Plus, he knows my history from doing my ectopic surgery. His on-call rotation include a few other top OBs in our city. I know I will be in good hands no matter what.

As of last night, all spotting was gone. I’m back on the disgusting fibre drink my Naturopathic Doctor gave me and I’ve upped my water intake.

Today I am 7 weeks, 2 days. This is officially the most pregnant I’ve ever been – a milestone I was looking forward to reaching. 🙂

Our next – official – ultrasound is this Wednesday, March 4. I’m so looking forward to a good view of my babe and hearing that whoosh whoosh for the first time.

First OB appointment

Today, I am 5 weeks, 6 days. We had our first OB appointment this afternoon.

Using the low tech portable ultrasound machine, we saw 1 baby measuring 6 weeks 3 days!  I keep telling my husband that the baby is on the left side. From today’s scan, it looks like my hunch was right!

My initial reaction was that I thought the baby was measuring behind. I had it in my head that he said 5 weeks, 3 days. As I stared at the screen, it finally clicked that the baby was measuring AHEAD! *whew* Such a relief!

In our shocked state, my husband and I forgot to ask for a print out or take our own photos.

We discussed the fact that we put 2 embryos in and the potential for twins. My OB said it could be too early to know using the machine he used. He would recommend the trans-vaginal ultrasound to get a closer look at my actual ultrasound appointment.

As for my ultrasound, I am very much NOT impressed with our local ultrasound clinic. My fertility clinic called them on Monday to arrange my appointment and they never got a call back. This afternoon, I called the ultrasound clinic myself and asked whether I had an appointment or not. They claim to have no record of my clinic calling. This isn’t the first mistake they have made. 😦

Anyway, my lovely nurse called them back and got me in for March 4th. I will be 7 weeks, 6 days then. I wish we could have gone a bit earlier, but I know we will get a better view then.

I also have my next OB appointment scheduled for March 12 at 9 weeks.

Appointments galore! This whole pregnancy thing is totally getting real! 🙂

FET Monitoring: Part 1

My outlook for this FET cycle is completely different than our fresh IVF.

Today, I had an ultrasound appointment at 9:30 am and needed to get my Estradiol levels checked before then. Instead of getting in line at the blood lab at 6:30 am, I decided it is counter-productive to go so early. You almost end up waiting longer and lose out on valuable sleep time. There’s really no point to rushing in. From my experience, as long as I get my blood work done by the mid-morning pick up, they always receive the results by end of day.

I got to the blood lab at 7:30 am this morning and waited just under an hour until my number was called. They front-desk recognized me immediately. I’m well known at this location after my need for recurring blood draws during our ectopic pregnancy. Each tech knows whether or not they can success with my difficult veins. You know because as if having fertility issues isn’t enough, I also have horrible veins! 

Today, a tech decided to try me even though she often passes. Well today, SHE GOT ME ON THE FIRST POKE! We both were so excited! This was my first ever positive experience when getting my blood drawn. The tech commented about how this was the fastest they had ever done me. I told her she completely made my day!

I arrived 15 minutes before my scheduled ultrasound. As I waited, the room slowly filled up with more and more pregnant couples. Instead of focusing on “what they have and I don’t”, I decided to enjoy the music and look at the art on the walls. A few deep breaths brought me back to a mindful state and I was called in for my scan right on time (I swear that NEVER happens!). 

It’s a well known fact that most techs at the ultrasound lab are complete morons when it comes to fertility treatments. Today, I actually got a tech who knew about IVF. She was curious about my FET protocol, so I explained it to her as she did her inspection with the dildo wand. It’s also standard that the tech DOES NOT relay information to you, but she was kind enough to tell me that my largest follicle was in the 10mm range. She said my lining looked great and was well on it’s way to being ready.

I’m relieved at how well this morning went and hoping it’s a sign for good things to come. 🙂

I always ovulate later on a natural cycle. My clinic has tentatively scheduled my transfer for January 27, but I’m guessing it definitely be a few days later.

Right now, I’m just waiting for them to email me confirming today’s results and my next steps….

Happy Monday!


Another curve ball on the journey to baby

As we all know too well, this fertility journey can be unpredictable. 

We had our 1st monitoring appointment at the clinic today. Turns out, I’m responding VERY well to the drugs. I expected the opposite since my AMH count showed I was low fertility and therefore considered as diminished ovarian reserve. I wish I had said more as I had a hunch I would stimulate better than they expected. 

My follicle count is 29 – 18 on the left, 11 on the right. 

The downside is my estrogen is WAY TOO HIGH and rapidly increasing. 

On CD1, I started out with an estradiol count of 183. 

On CD6 (Monday), my estradiol was 3703. 

On CD8 (today), my estradiol is 5980. 

This puts me at high risk of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). The clinic has advised that we do a freeze all cycle and return in 2 months for a FET. 

Sad face

This is my “I’m disappointed” face

Although this is disappointing, I know that my health and safety is not worth the risk of transferring (even with a CD8 lining of 9.6 mm). 

I’m still praying for a miracle (meaning rapidly declining estrogen levels). Since that’s highly unlikely, we are just hoping for a successful retrieval with a few high grade, beautiful embryos on ice awaiting our return. 

I’m going back tomorrow morning for another blood test and ultrasound. My RE thinks the retrieval will be Sunday. 

Right now, my biggest side effects are bloat, swollen ovaries and slow walking due to swollen ovaries. I’m still getting tired easily if I do too much. My husband is pretty adamant that I take care of myself (meaning I’m not getting many opportunities to go shopping. haha) I’m actually feeling really emotionally stable. This taking things one step at a time is really helping. 

As much as we received some unexpected news today, I am still grateful that we have a good chance at quite a few eggs. 

I’m also grateful for: 

  • Gluten-free chocolate cupcakes – a must-have after today’s news. MMMMMmmmmmm good
  • The dog park beside the ocean at the end of our street which my husband drives me to
  • Maxi dresses to hide the bloat
Maxi dresses and an ocean-side dog park = best things ever

Maxi dresses and an ocean-side dog park = best things ever

For those of you who have been through similar scenarios:

  • What do you recommend to prepare for retrieval?
  • Is there anything I can do now to decrease my chances of OHSS?
  • What other advice do you have about OHSS? 

Let’s get this (early morning) IVF party started with blood work and an ultrasound

I am a sleeper and I am NOT a morning person. 

Today, I woke up at 5 am. WTF, seriously Lindsey? 

Whenever something is on my mind, or I have to be somewhere earlier than usual, my body goes into hyper awake mode. I often think it’s so that I don’t sleep through my appointment. Anyway, it sucks especially when it may be a 5:50 am flight (except I’m awake at 1:00 am) or in this case, 7:30 am blood work except I’m awake at 5:00 am. 

My husband offered to stay home and take me to my appointments. With our IVF trip and harvest coming up, he has zero paid time off left, so I told him no. Thanks, but right now, I’m more about the benjamins, baby. 

This morning, I’m getting my blood work done, followed by my ultrasound (with a full bladder I must add). 

Getting my blood work done is an experience I HAVE to prepare myself for because: 

  1. Old people drive me nuts
  2. Old people line up at least 1/2 hour before the lab opens outside the door
  3. I need my blood work done ASAP this morning
  4. That means I’ll be waiting in line with these old folks

I’m going to make myself a big peppermint tea and find some sense of humour or delight in watching the old folks this morning. 

Last time I had an ultrasound done at this location, they were running over 1/2 an hour behind. They did have some good oldies tunes playing on the radio though. Hopefully, my bladder and I can make it through it. 

I’m truly looking forward to when we arrive at the clinic and have our monitoring done there. 6 days to go… 

My affirmation for today is: Everything will go smoothly with my IVF process. 

Deep breath Lindsey. 

What’s the plan?

I sat in the waiting room scanning the faces of the other women. I hoped one of them would be in there for the same reasons as me. I wanted her eyes to lock with mine and without a word, we could share a glimpse of mutual understanding.

Unfortunately, everyone avoided eye contact that day. Alone, yet again.

I had my first follicle monitoring ultrasound this morning. I’m currently Cycle Day 12. My largest follicle was measuring 11 mm. Next ultrasound is booked for Thursday afternoon.

My doctor is optimistic that the HSG test may have cleared things out enough for us to get pregnant naturally this month.

She also asked me what our plans are for next month if we don’t get pregnant. OMFG!?!? Really?

That’s the thing about (in)fertility: everything is time-based. You need to make decisions fast.

She suggested we could try a round of drugs with IUI. If we want to start IUI next month, we need to get infection screening blood work done before my next cycle starts.

IUI is a HUGE step for us.

My husband is being really supportive and extra positive. He says by this time next year we will have our baby. He says we will do whatever it takes.

If we move forward with IUI, my vagina will be inspected, probed and inserted many more times. Why do us women have to go through so much? With modern technology, shouldn’t we have options for less invasive procedures?

All most men have to do is get it in a cup – the end result of a pleasurable experience. Lucky them.

I know I have a choice. I contemplated holding off on the IUI, but we’ve reached a milestone. I told myself that if we weren’t pregnant by December that I would move forward with the fertility drugs.

Emotionally, it’s hard to remain hopeful.

I just want to cry.

So instead of focusing on IUI, I’m going to focus on this natural cycle. I will continue with reiki, acupuncture, healthy eats, and minimal stress. One day at a time…