Recognizing when fear creeps back in

My business trip went well this week. The Diclectin kicked in and I thought, “Gee, I’m really starting to feel better! I should reduce my dosage…

Well, let’s just say, I don’t recommend reducing your Diclectin dosage UNLESS you are prepared for the nausea/dry heaving/puking to return. :(

I battled through yesterday, but am happy to say I did not puke on my flight home.

I will admit that the subsiding symptoms (whether drug induced or not) were bringing up my fearful Momma vibes. My boobs were less sore, my nausea was gone… was my baby ok?

The return of the dreaded nausea has confirmed that everything is more than likely on track, but I’m feeling like I need a confidence boost.

My 12 week nuchal translucency ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday, April 2nd (cue the WHOHOO!).

In the meantime, I’ve decided to register for Molly Nichol‘s upcoming FREE online workshop: How to Prepare Yourself for Pregnancy after Infertility.

During this event, Molly will explain how you can reduce the amount of fear and anxiety you experience once you become pregnant after infertility.

I may be a Courageous Momma growing her rainbow baby, but I know I don’t have all the answers. I hope to learn a thing or two from Molly’s upcoming session and tame that fear once again.

Baby’s first trip & a few other milestones

We’ve reached/are reaching a few milestones this week.

1. I’m done my PIO ass shots! I swear when you first start out this day seems like it will never come. Once you get to the end of the road, it becomes so routine that each poke barely phases you.  Either way,  I’m so grateful to be done. 

2. Baby is joining Momma on his first plane ride! I’m off to my head office for a business trip this week.  I’ve taken my Diclectin and bought a bottle of Ginger Ale.  My goal is to make it through the day (at least until 4pm), eat supper and go to bed at some obscenely early time.

3. During this trip,  I plan on telling my boss and my team about my pregnancy. I’m almost 11 weeks which may seem early to some, but I probably won’t be back in town for another month. I’d rather be honest now as we are about to embark on a major project.  I’d prefer if my boss is aware of when I’ll be available, so I can help plan my contribution upon until my leave.

That’s it for now! Wish me luck! I’m not sure how I will make it through the day without a nap. :)

10 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 10 weeks and 4 days

Meds: All taken daily – Prenatal, Omega + DHA, Vitamin D 2000mg, Vitamin B12, Probiotic, Estrace 400 mg, Prometrium 200mg, PIO 1ml, Diclectin (3 pills daily)

The countdown is on: tonight is my FINAL ass shot!  I’ll continue my Estrace and Prometrium for another 3 days .

Baby is the size of: a kumquat or a date

Best Moment This Week: No more puking + first orgasm since before transfer. Yes, we held out for a LONG time. I’m happy to say I had no scares following the magical moment.

Total Weight Gain: Haven’t weighed myself this week.

Maternity Clothes: Last week, I used my Bella Band Basic with my regular jeans undone. It worked really well! Except on the 2nd day, I found the band was trying to roll up a bit. Just takes a bit of adjusting each time you stand up from sitting. Other than that, I’m still wearing regular clothes. I did purchase 2 maternity dresses for summer and a cute “Due in October” tank top.

Symptoms: Same as last week: Tired, sore nipples (the boob soreness has subsided a bit), NAUSEA! Last week was by far, my worst week for nausea. After not being able to keep anything down Wed-Thursday, I caved and got a prescription for Diclectin. I’m flying out for a business trip tomorrow and I did not want to be puking the entire time I am away. Let’s just say Diclectin and I are now friends. It totally eases my nausea until it’s almost time to take another pill, then I get the dry heaves again. I’ve been taking 1 pill in the morning, at noon and at bedtime.

Sleep: I’ve been sleeping INSANE amounts! The Diclectin really turned me into a zombie the first 24 hours I was on it. I slept for over 12 hours the first night and had a few naps the next day. Since then, the drowsiness is wearing off. I’ve also been having INSANE dreams. Do these continue the whole pregnancy?

Food Cravings: Cherry danishes, cheese croissants… still on the carb kick.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Brushing my teeth, chicken, smell of urine in a public bathroom

Movement: Too early.

Stretch Marks: Nothing new.

Baby Bump: Barely there but continuously getting harder.

Gender Prediction: BOY!

Labour Signs: Too early.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie to start!

Wedding Rings on or off?: On.

Happy or Moody?: Diclectin zombie = moody

Purchases for baby: Nothing – surprise again!

Miss Anything?: Having energy. vegetables.

Looking forward to: Our 12 week ultrasound… date STILL to be determined.

Appointments, insurance and other unnecessary stress for a Friday

My OB has a new receptionist. She’s only been on the job for 2 weeks, but she’s super slow to start. I’m trying to give her a break as she’s just learning. Anyway, she didn’t book my 12 week ultrasound after my appointment last Thursday at 9 weeks.

I called Wednesday to remind her. She never called me back.

I called again this morning.

She said both ultrasound clinics have no openings until my 16 week mark, but they could put me on a wait list.

SAY WHAAATTT?

I told her that was unacceptable. My Nuchal translucency ultrasound has to be done between 11 and 13 weeks, 6 days. I suggested she get me on that wait list and then talk to the OB bout WTF to do. I also suggested she go ahead and book my 20 week anatomy scan. She said she would talk about it with the OB on Monday as he’s not in the office today.

I understand she’s new, but this lady needs more confidence! It’s a well known fact that the ultrasound clinics always have extra appointment slots (or else how did I get in for IVF monitoring?). They can’t just deny someone a screening appointment – can they?

Next, I contacted my fertility clinic for a Diclectin prescription. This week has been my worst so far for nausea and puking. I couldn’t keep anything down yesterday. Since I’m on a business trip for 3 days next week, I need some relief or else I’m not going to make it!

When I went to get my prescription filled there was some mix up where the one Fertility clinic doctor wasn’t found in the system, so my insurance wouldn’t approve the claim. I waited for an hour, then ended up paying the full prescription amount (just under $200). The pharmacy is supposed to sort it out and call me back later.

Today has been a wack load of unnecessary stress for this prego.

I’m asking the Universe for some help to:

  • Get the ultrasound appointment booked on Monday with an appointment time that fits within my schedule (as I’m out of town for business 4 days over the next 3 weeks).
  • Have my insurance cover the cost of the meds and place the refund in my account early next week

Deep breath Lindsey. It will all work out. 

Sprouting Hope contest: Win $5000 towards IVF in Canada

I just came across a contest where you can enter to win $5000 towards IVF at any Canadian clinic of your choice.

Canadian Fertility Consulting is currently hosting a contest called Sprouting Hope.

The contest runs from March 19 to May 18th. The winner will be announced during the Canadian Infertility Awareness Week May 19- 28, 2015.

To enter: 

  1. Create a short YouTube or Vimeo video explaining what brought you to IVF. Include a brief description with your video and include the hashtag #CFCINFERTILITYAWARENESS
  2. Fill out the form on Facebook and add your video!
  3. Share with your friends and loved ones to get votes!

I know this contest may make some people feel vulnerable as you are putting yourself and your story out there on social media, but I do think it is a great way to bring awareness and put a face to IVF in Canada.

Let me know if you enter so I can watch your video and vote!

Good luck!

XO

Lindsey

9 week bumpdate

I feel like I’ve been a really shitty blogger lately. I’m lucky if I post 2-3 updates a week. My goal for the 2nd trimester (when supposedly people get more energy) is to post more regularly again. I struggle because I usually write at night, but nights are reserved for sleeping now. Will have to switch up my routine and find a new schedule that works with my pregnancy. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and is still following. :)

How Far Along: 9 weeks and 6 days

Meds: All taken daily – Prenatal, Omega + DHA, Vitamin D 2000mg, Vitamin B12, Probiotic, Estrace 400 mg, Prometrium 200mg, PIO 1ml, Anti-Nausea pill (1-3 daily)

The countdown is on: only 6 more days of ass shots! My clinic agreed to let me stop them 2 days early as I’m heading on a business trip. I have 8 more days of Estrace and Prometrium.

Baby is the size of: a wild strawberry or a grape!

Best Moment This Week: My godson’s baptism. I know this is totally unrelated to my pregnancy, but it was a fabulous day.

Total Weight Gain: Approximately 4 lbs. The carbs are killing meeeeeeeee. I’ve been making an effort to eat healthier this week.

Maternity Clothes: I’ve been wearing lots of leggings these days. I’ve also determined have the WORST body for maternity clothes. I attempted to wear a pair of maternity jeans last week. They are super low rise compared to what I’m use it. I also am VERY short-waisted,  so they seem to sit funny on me. They kept falling down and weren’t overly comfortable. I barely have any baby bump to keep them up. I hope I grow into them or else I’ll be wearing maxi skirts all summer.

Stretch Marks: Nothing new.

Sleep: The same as last week: Lots of crazy dreams, peeing at least once a night.

Symptoms: Tired, sore nipples (the boob soreness has subsided a bit), NAUSEA! My sickness is still persistent in the mornings and in the evenings. I’m learning to manage it better now with more frequent and smaller meals. I don’t get out of bed until I’ve eaten a few crackers. I’ve also noticed a tiny bit of brown tinged discharge occasionally. It’s happened maybe 2-3 times. I’m not letting this one freak me out!

Food Cravings: Carbs. Just carbs. And fruit. (same as last week) Boston cream donuts from Tim Horton’s  – that one was random.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  I couldn’t finish my chicken one night. Usually chicken doesn’t bother me though.

Movement: Too early.

Baby Bump: Barely there but continuously getting harder.

Gender Prediction: BOY! Although… I dreamed I was buying baby girl stuff last night?!??!????

Labour Signs: Too early.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie to start!

Wedding Rings on or off?: On.

Happy or Moody?: Happy some days, tired and moody others. Getting enough sleep definitely helps the mood.

Purchases for baby: Nothing this week! Shocking – I know! 

Miss Anything?: Having energy.

Looking forward to: Our 12 week ultrasound. Date still to be determined. My OB got a new receptionist. I just called to remind her to schedule it.

Battling the first trimester nausea

It still feels surreal that I’m 9 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I’m not sure when everything will sink in deeper. Perhaps once I’m out of the first trimester and feeling better?

I’ve been feeling shitty, really shitty.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs: “Seriously?!!?! This is what the first trimester is about?!?!

After all we’ve been through, anyone who did fertility treatments or struggled with loss should get a free pass for a smooth and sick-free first trimester. As women, we truly go through a lot to bring our children into this world.

I have mad respect for any woman who is pregnant while raising other children, or pregnant as a teacher, or a nurse, or any other job that requires activity throughout the day. These women have stamina like no other. To the women who are dealing with the severe sickness known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum: you deserve the Ultimate Mother Award.

I just work my office job and go home exhausted every night.

I wake up nauseous. I stay nauseous. I go to sleep nauseous.

I dry heave, but I’ve only puked twice. That ain’t so bad.

I’m also damn stubborn, so I refuse to take Diclectin. I bought the Platinum Prenatal Anti-Nausea pills. They are just ginger + B6. So far, they seem to be helping. I’ve also been taking iron supplements and trying to get more protein in my diet which seems to giving me more energy during the day.

I’ve learned the first trimester is about finding a groove that works for you. Mine seems to be living off carbs, preggie pops, peppermint tea and ginger ale with an 8-9pm bedtime and an afternoon nap if I can swing it. :)

We had an OB appointment yesterday. He did a happy dance and sang a little song when he realized we were 9 weeks along. Seriously, his personality is why I enjoy seeing this guy. My husband and I get such a kick out of him.

I am so grateful to be 9 weeks pregnant. Each day we progress is an accomplishment. And deep down, as much as I hate being sick, I appreciate knowing that my little man is growing. Crazy (in)fertiles always look for validation! Haha

Do you have any other tips to combat the nausea? I’m doing the crackers in the morning, but they only hold me off for a bit.

Pregnant vomit