6 month update

I have a 6 month old!!! Wow. It feels weird to say that. 

This month, Wyatt…

  • Is in the majorly distracted phase. Mommy struggles to get him to eat or nap as Wyatt just doesn’t want to miss out on anything.
  • Crawled backwards once but Mommy thinks it was just a fluke.
  • Can sit up on his own  – a little wobbly but unassisted
  • Has further developed his dexterity. He grasps Mommy’s zipper, pulls on the clasp of his chew toys, and grabs just about anything else in sight (including puppy dog tags and kitty tails!)
  • Started swimming lessons which he goes to on Saturday mornings with Daddy
  • Gained another 2 lbs and grew another 2 inches
  • is still co-sleeping, exclusively breastfed and 100% in cloth diapers.
  • has no teeth yet

This past month, Mommy…

  • Recovered from ANOTHER cold😦
  • Dealt with dermatitis on my face which everyone told me I wouldn’t be able to treat naturally, but I did!
  • Had an excellent physio appointment where she signed off on my lady bits being in tip top shape (once again, never the same but healed).
  • Dealt with an unexpected grief explosion 
  • Faced some unexpected anxiety which I’m attributing to the Scorpio Moon (because I’m woo woo like that):)

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A response from Huggies

I actually sent the letter I wrote to Huggies.

Here’s the response I received:

Dear Lindsey,

Thank you for contacting us about the HUGGIES® e-newsletters that you are receiving.

I have forwarded your request to our technical team for immediate removal from our e-mail distribution list.  However, because our Brand e-newsletters are scheduled in advance, it is possible that you could receive one or more e-mails within the next two weeks.  I am sorry for any inconvenience.

Please let me know if you have any additional questions about our products or newsletters.  Thank you.

Alisha
Consumer Services, Kimberly-Clark Corp.
Lead the world in essentials for a better life.

When I received their response, I realized I was naive. I actually thought they would maybe take me up on my offer to help. Should I have mentioned that I have a background in UX and actually design web/software applications? 

I know Alisha is simply doing her job, but I wasn’t looking to be removed from a mailing list. I could have easily hit unsubscribe or changed my account preferences myself.

I was looking for Huggies to show me that they have COMPASSION for women who experience pregnancy or infant loss.

I wanted Huggies to understand how much their “whoopsie” marketing affects these women and pro-actively make a change to avoid future heartache at their expense.

Who am I kidding? Corporations don’t value compassion.

Huggies won’t make a dime off grieving mothers. Why would they invest time and money into a minor web enhancement to avoid offending this minor target market? There’s no ROI when there’s no baby to diaper.

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) in the USA and the theme is #startasking. Even if my effort to start a discussion about pregnancy loss with Huggies wasn’t a success, it was a start. If we all #startasking, we are destined to see change.❤

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In the USA, National Infertility Awareness week runs from April 24-30, 2016. For more information on how you can #startasking, visit Resolve: The National Infertility Association

In Canada, Canadian Infertility Awareness Week (CIAW) is May 12-20. For more information, visit fertilitymatters.ca

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Huggies

Today I received an email from you with the title: Are you ready for your little one’s big one?

I thought to myself that this marketing campaign is REALLY early. My son’s birthday is over 6 months away.

Then, it hit me.

You were referring to my dead daughter. My expected due date was May 24, 2015. Her 1st birthday could have been month from now, but instead we lost her much too soon.

At first, I was angry. This was just another example of how inconsiderate society is towards grieving mothers. Do you really expect a woman to update all of her marketing preferences after she’s lost a child?

I took a deep breath and thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t be so upset?

Thank you Huggies for acknowledging our Angel’s upcoming special day.

My husband and I still recognize it even though no one else around us does. We don’t receive any cards, any phone calls or even any texts. A woman who experiences pregnancy loss may have only held their child in womb, but she will forever hold their memory in her heart. The world around her moves on, but she always remembers those significant dates. This year, you are probably are the only one who will remember – even if it was a mistake.

The thing is pregnancy loss affects 1 in 4 women. I’m sure I’m not the first who’s experienced such a “WHOOPS” on behalf of Huggies. If you’d like to work together to find a solution to this scenario, I’d be more than willing to help.

Lindsey

(Momma to Emme and Wyatt)

 

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Confessions from the car

You have yelled at your husband 3 nights in a row before bed. It finally makes sense why they say the first year after a child is born is trying on your marriage. You realize it takes full commitment and communication from both sides. But, you are feeling unloved, unheard, unappreciated. Ugh, is it really us or could it just be tomorrow’s full moon?
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You look in the mirror and see no make up, a Mom bun and sweats. You don’t even know what it feels like to wear dress clothes anymore, let alone shoes that aren’t Sanuks.

Your hormonal/viral induced rash is almost gone. How come no one told you about all these wonderful ”benefits” of being postpartum?

You are sitting in your car in the driveway, listening to Coffee House tunes, drinking a tea while your baby sleeps in the back seat. This is the closest you’ve felt to normal all week.

Except for last night when you stayed up until 1pm to help a friend with their website… Yes, you are on maternity leave but you relish any opportunity to use your brain beyond baby life.

You look in the mirror and see your baby stirring. It’s time to tune back in. As much as you needed this car break, you always need his closeness.❤

So for today, you will go inside and ignore the mess. You will enjoy the snuggles and playtime while you still can…

Especially because they are simple and the rest of life seems anything but simple these days.

An unexpected grief explosion

On Friday night, I attended a Chakradance session for the heart chakra.

I didn’t think this one would hit me as hard as it did.

As we began the meditation, I saw an imagine of a woman suffocating her child and heard the message, “You didn’t kill your baby“.

*gasp*

I had been carrying a huge burden around without consciously realizing it.

The tears began to flow.

Her image is blurry in my mind. I  can’t feel her energy as strongly as I once did. I don’t hear her voice as often anymore.

I am afraid of losing her.

I heard, “You need to let her go. She will always be with you“.

Letting go doesn’t mean she’s gone.

An image appeared of her heart within Wyatt’s, within my own, within my husband’s…

She’s within us all.

Forgiving yourself is hard to do.

Letting go is even harder –  especially when it’s your child.

Grief catches you when you least expect it. And clearly for me, it’s a continuous process of unveiling, unravelling and releasing.

As I drove home, the song “Tupelo Honey” by Van Morrison came on the radio…

She’s as sweet as tupelo honey
She’s an angel of the first degree
She’s as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like the honey, baby, from the bee
She’s my baby, you know she’s alright…..”

I love you Emme❤

The baby gate dilemma

Wyatt’s moving more and more every day. Yesterday, he figured out how to back crawl or maybe it was shimmy – either way he’s progressively moving his way around the room.

I need to find baby gates before he’s crawing!

We live in a 4-level split home with 3 staircases. Our main hallway features side-by-side staircases with an older railing. There isn’t much to hold a tension-style gate, nor is there much to fascine a permanent style gate to. A new railing has been on my wish list for a few years now, but is highly unlikely to happen anytime soon.

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Yes, that’s a cat toy hanging from the railing. We opted for self-serve play time once Wyatt arrived. 

Our lower level may be an easier solution as it has a fairly standard railing on one side.

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We may need gates with a pet door. Our chihuahuas will go outside, but they are also pee pad trained. Their pads are in the basement, same with the cat’s litter box. I’ve put up a tension style gate at the bottom of the 3rd level stairs to keep the dogs contained a few times. Oliver the cat can jump over it to go to his litter box, but sometimes he gets lazy and meows for me to lift him back over. Anyway, the pet gate isn’t a MUST have feature. I’m willing to adjust our routine and/or pet bathroom location if necessary.

I’d prefer tension style. My husband will cringe if I have to put holes in the walls, BUT if that is the best solution we will go for it.

What are your suggestions?

 

Motherhood: a shift in priorities and expectations

My biggest challenge with motherhood has been adjusting to a slower pace of life. I used to be a go-getter. I love organizing. I love a clean home. I love planning projects and following through with them.

Being a Mom means everything takes THAT MUCH longer.

Today it is an amazing 19 degrees Celsius on the Canadian Prairies. I grabbed the little man and headed into the backyard to enjoy the sun.

When I looked around, I saw…

Leaves to be raked. Piles of branches to be rid of. Gardens that never got weeded before Wyatt came last Fall. A shed messily full of patio furniture which means I can’t even get my gardening gloves out. A deck that needs to be repainted in a last ditch attempt to make it last a few more years. A fence that needs repairs so our genius chihuahua Bella will stop escaping.

*cue the anxiety*

When will all of this get done?

My husband is not a go-getter. It take persistent nagging to get him to do major household tasks.

So, I took a deep breath and made a to-do list. I numbered it in order of priority.

And then I reminded myself that right now my son doesn’t know any different. The leaves don’t matter to him. He won’t notice the chipping pain. All that matters is exploring, learning and enjoying his days.

For now, I can ignore the disaster. We waited years for Wyatt to join us. He deserves my time and attention. His needs are the priority and the yard work will get done… eventually.

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