Pain in the… ?

WARNING: This is going to be a complaining/inquiring about pregnancy symptoms post. If you don’t want to read that, feel free to move on. 🙂

For the past week or so now, I’ve had horrible lower back pain at night. Doesn’t matter if I sleep on my left side, my right side or my back, it doesn’t go away.

The past two days, I’ve noticed pain in my front pelvic area when I get up from sitting or when I’m walking.

I also have an increased sense of heaviness in my pelvis that makes me wonder if my little man has started dropping?

Last night I had a bath and did a few exercises that my Physiotherapist recommended. NOTHING seemed to help. I was just as sore when I got in the bath as I was when I got out. The water was soothing, but didn’t take the aches away.

I’ve also been confused as to whether I have mild cramping or if that’s just the pelvic muscles being sore? Maybe it’s just that constant dull ache in my lower back reminds me of pre-period cramps?

Is this pelvic girdle pain? Does anyone have any experience or tips to alleviate the symptoms?

All the dates that matter

One year ago today, I was arriving at the fertility clinic to prepare for my egg retrieval.

Following the retrieval, my eggs met my husband’s sperm and the magical process of fertilization began.

Our babies were created.

I guarantee you if I asked any member of our families what happened one year ago today, none of them would know the answer. It’s dates like this that only we remember.

When you face infertility and pregnancy loss, you remember so many moments along the journey that were significant to you.

The first trip you made to the doctor…

The moment you received diagnostic test results…

The instant you found out your baby wouldn’t make it…

The date you realized you were pregnant again…

All of these moments were life changing.

All of these dates mattered.

Be proud of your special moments. Reflect on them with positivity and gratitude.

Allow yourself to feel sadness on the dates that broke your heart.

Celebrate your milestones.

You’ve faced so many challenges. You’ve grown as an individual and as a couple. If you and your partner are the only ones who remember these dates, then so be it. You don’t need anyone else to acknowledge your journey. You know in your heart how far you’ve come. ❤


The rocking chair has arrived!

I’ve been waiting to receive our rocker for 28 days… Doesn’t seem like long compared to everything else we’ve waited for, but the wait was hard when it’s a critical piece for finishing the nursery!

I ordered the Poplar Naptime Rocker in Grey Linen from a custom Canadian furniture company called Off Your Rocker.

I also ordered the Mum’s Helper which is a matching slipover sleeve with pockets to hold items while you are rocking. Our nursery is not a very large room. I thought this accessory would save me having to find a side table to go with the chair.

The owner/craftsman Frank has excellent customer service. He kept me in the loop throughout the building process to let me know where he was at. It took 3 days to ship from Ontario to Saskatchewan.

Assembly was super easy. The chair itself came in 4 pieces and the ottoman came in 3. All bolts and an Allan key were supplied. I will get my husband to tighten everything – just to be sure – once he gets home, but most people should be able to handle it themselves.


The chair and ottoman


Oliver checks it out


The Mum’s helper (should have ironed it before I snapped this pic)

Next steps for the nursery:

  • Finish making a few pieces of wall art
  • Hang wall art
  • Sew a pillow for the chair

Almost done! 🙂

32 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 32 weeks and 5 days

Meds: All taken daily – prenatal vitamin, Omega 3 + DHA, Ranitidine (2x/day), Magnesium (250mg at bedtime as per my chiro’s recommendation), Gaviscon for heartburn as required (which is OFTEN!).

Just an FYI: I use the Honest Company Prenatal Complete Once Daily and DHA Complete. My Naturopath was very satisfied with the ingredient listing on these products. I used to use the Whole Food Prenatal, but I switched to the once daily when I was throwing up too much.

Baby is the size of: Florida Pomelo (WTF is this? Is it just because I’m Canadian that I’ve never had a Pomelo?) or a winter squash

Best Moments This Week:

  • Nesting galore! I had a major energy surge this weekend. We cleaned and organized our entire basement. I also washed all the baby linens/blankets. I honestly don’t know where this energy came from! Last night I went to the grocery store and could barely finish my list without feeling exhausted.
  • Having a BodyTalk session. O-M-G! Every time I have Bodytalk it fascinates me! My back actually feels way better since my session yesterday. I also love the intuition validation. I was pleased when quite a few issues I wanted to address came up in my session on both a physical and emotional level. Another lesson that came up was enjoying stillness before baby comes. I’ve been really busy and trying to cross everything off my baby list lately. She encouraged me to take more moments for myself as they will be less frequent after he arrives.
  • Having multiple people tell me I’m smaller than they anticipated. I am torn on whether this is good or bad though? I just carry really low, but I guess it’s a good thing that people don’t like I look huge!
  • Planning my Blessingway with my doula 🙂
  • Going out for an evening to a session at my friend’s rock and crystal shop. I really needed this night out! It was great because it was relaxing and didn’t take a lot of energy from me.

Total Weight Gain: a total of 12.6 lbs. (Didn’t weigh myself again this week!!! Will do it for next week)

Maternity Clothes: I picked up a pair of leggings on the Thyme Maternity sale rack for $4. Fall is on it’s way and I need a few warmer options. I think that will be the last of my maternity purchases.


  • Low iron = SO TIRED. Last week, I was seriously low energy from Monday-Thursday.
  • Energy spurt Friday to Sunday.
  • Peeing constantly
  • Sore hips/lower back – especially when sleeping
  • Carpal tunnel in my right wrist. Wearing a brace makes it better. For anyone who had it, does it actually go away after baby comes?

Sleep: Ugh. This past week, I wake up to extremely sore hips, lower back and shoulders. I’ve been having hot showers in the morning or bubble baths at night. And doing lots of stretching to get the kinks out. My dreams have been crazy too especially since I get up so many times to pee. I don’t often get back to that deep level of sleep.

Food Cravings: Peaches, chocolate, ice cold water

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing new this week.

Movement: I find his movements to be more pronounced now except my husband always misses when my belly moves. I think I’ve also noticed he’s had a hiccups a few times. That sensation is different!

Stretch Marks: Yup – same location lower tummy and parallel with my belly button. When my tummy grows, they get itchy. I lather up with coconut oil every night.

Baby Bump: Growing and growing… With my nice wrist brace on. :/


Gender: BOY

Labour Signs: Nothing yet except maybe a few Braxton Hicks.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie, but not much depth left.

Wedding Rings on or off?: Off due to the heat.

Happy or Moody?: I’ve been ok lately. My mood has been fairly level. I just find I get lonely as my husband is farming + working meaning he’s gone from the house for 12-14 hours a day. I work remotely so the lack of human contact can be hard some days, yet I also enjoy my alone time. I also had my first cry in a long time on Sunday night. My husband was grumpy from all the nesting and I didn’t appreciate his attitude. I know he works hard, but preparing for baby is important too. I am very fortunate that my husband does A LOT more than many of his friends, but sometimes I just wish he would see the up-side of our efforts rather than grumbling..

Purchases for baby:

Purchases for Momma: 

  • Maternity leggings
  • A Booby Trapper – excellent used condition for $10

Miss Anything?: Sleeping comfortably

Looking forward to:

  • Receiving our rocking chair to finish the nursery.
  • Receiving our mobile
  • Being off work in 5 weeks WHOHOO!

Prenatal class fail

We took hypnobirthing classes back before the summer, but we also registered for a prenatal class that our local health region puts on. I originally just wanted to take their breastfeeding class, but they had recently combined it into one program. Another perk was that your partner would be able to get the Tdap vaccine at the class.

Our class was scheduled to run from 6:30-8:30pm tonight and 10:00 am – 4:00 pm tomorrow.

Let’s just say…. we won’t be going back tomorrow. :/

Tonight we focused on how to know when you are in labour and labour coping techniques. A lot of the course content contradicted what we learned in hypnobirthing (i.e. hold your breath to push vs. using your breath to move the baby down). There were also inconsistencies between what the instructor said, what the book said and what was shown in the videos. I was also surprised that the course manual was borrowed from another province!

I feel like the Western medicine’s (or maybe it’s just my old school province) approach to birthing is definitely fear-based. The word “pain” was used quite frequently.

The instructor also made one comment that completely shocked me. She was taking about pre-term labour and how some infants would need a shot to help their lungs develop if they are born too soon. She said the majority of infants will do fine, but some could die. SAY WHAT!?!?!  She could have at least backed this up with the reassurance that the survival rate is between 90-95% for babies that arrive between 28-34 weeks. But nope, she didn’t.

I will give the instructor credit for being inclusive. All of tonight’s course participants were male-female couples, but she used the term “birth coach” instead of “Daddy”. She also did encourage women to trust that their bodies know what to do.

We also discovered that they recently (as in sometime in the past month) stopped giving the birth partner their vaccinations at the course. This contradicted the registration form that we received which asked for my husband’s health card number and whether or not he would be receiving the vaccine. Now, we have to call the Health Region to schedule another appointment.

Tomorrow’s topics are pain management, breastfeeding and taking baby home. Since we already have our birth preferences defined and took a taking baby home class through hypnobirthing, we’ve opted to ditch the course. I have a good friend who is a nurse. She has offered to give me additional breast feeding support if it’s needed beyond our hospital stay. Or else, I’ll go to a breastfeeding clinic or call a Lactation Consultant.

Overall, that prenatal class was an epic fail. If we hadn’t taken hypnobirthing and had very minimal knowledge of birthing practises, it would have offered some value. We were just beyond it and the material didn’t align with our values.

In the end, I would have been better off scheduling my husband in for his immunization and spending my 2 hours at home tonight continuing my nesting.

Reflecting on our IVF journey

One year ago today, I had bloodwork and an ultrasound, then started my stims.

I crossed over into the world of IVF treatment not realizing what was in store for me.

I think reflection is an important part of life. Not reflecting on the negative all the time, but reflecting on the challenges and seeing what became of them.

In the past year, I’ve experienced:

  • A cocktail of fertility meds
  • Over 120 self (or husband) injected needles
  • Close to 50 blood tests
  • 2 surgeries
  • 2 embryo transfers
  • 2 pregnancies
  • Grief and heartache following a pregnancy loss
  • A mild case of OHSS
  • Borderline Hyperemesis Gravidarum
  • Carpal Tunnel
  • Constipation
  • Acid reflux and heartburn
  • Lost friends
  • Gained friends
  • A newfound sense of self
  • A closer connection to my husband
  • A better understanding of my body
  • Love at first sight
  • All of the “pregnancy firsts” (first ultrasound, first heartbeat, first anatomy scan, first kick)
  • 3 changes in my job position/title
  • Paying off IVF costs
  • Preparing for baby
  • Stress
  • Relaxation
  • Fear
  • Hope

I’m sure this list could go on and on…

Was this past year easy? Hell no, but I would never change it.

The challenges were worth the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve met, and the strength I’ve gained.

If you asked me 1 year ago where I thought I’d be today, I would have said on maternity leave with a 3 month old baby girl.

Instead, I’m 32 weeks pregnant preparing for the birth of our baby boy.

Life changes and we can’t control it.

All we can do is look back on it and appreciate how far we’ve come. ❤

The journey never ends. It merely twists and turns us in another direction.

journey quote

August 19 – a day of HOPE

Today is August 19 – a day of HOPE – hosted by the Carly Marie Project. The inspiration for today is to break the silence about infant and pregnancy loss while honouring the lives of our children who left us too soon.

Participants are encouraged to make a prayer flag in memory of their child(ren), then share photos of it on social media.

I didn’t get a chance to make a flag to honour Emme, but I did share one of the project’s awareness images on my Instagram with the following statement:

“Some people think that having a rainbow baby in your womb changes everything. It doesn’t. You don’t ever forget. You simply learn to live as the “new you” – a mother to two children, one Angel; one on his way. You know that life can change in an instant, so you become more grateful for your blessings. You feel more. You love deeper. You continue to hope. Hope is what keeps you going.


Sending love to you and your Angels today and always ❤

Learn more about the day of HOPE:

Where to put the stink?

Alright folks, I need your opinion. We are doing disposable diapers for the newborn phase and will transition into cloth as baby gets bigger.

Here’s the options I’m considering for dirty diaper disposal/storage:

  1. Wet bag only
    1. Pro: Economical – I already have two, Space-saving, Easy to clean,
    2. Con: Won’t work for disposables
  2. Diaper Dekor Plus
    1. Pro: Large capacity, Pedal for easy access with childproof lock, Reasonably priced
    2. Con: Plastic, Have to buy disposable refills
  3. Ubbi
    1. Pro: Steel holds less odor, Can use regular garbage bags (less refill cost), Childproof lock
    2. Most expensive

I thought I might just use a wet bag, but that doesn’t help during the newborn phase when we have disposables. We could just use a regular garbage pail during that period though.

What diaper pail do you recommend and why? What option is most versatile for cloth/disposable combo? Is a diaper pail worth the investment? 

31 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 31 weeks and 4 days

Meds: All taken daily – prenatal vitamin, Omega 3 + DHA, Ranitidine (2x/day), Magnesium (250mg at bedtime as per my chiro’s recommendation), Gaviscon for heartburn as required (which is OFTEN!).

Baby is the size of: Romaine lettuce or a winter squash

Best Moments This Week:

  • Having my 3 year old niece ask me how my baby is doing
  • Celebrating my nephew’s 2nd birthday. He just started talking and was so excited to open presents (even if he got WAY too many).
  • Tackling items off my Baby To-Do list: stripped cloth diaper liners, washed pocket covers, started taking tags off any clothes we’ve bought to wash them
  • Meeting my friend’s IVF baby girl for the first time. She was so small and adorable!
  • Attending another friend’s baby shower. These women have been super supportive of me and I’m excited for play dates with their little ones.

Total Weight Gain: a total of 12.6 lbs. (Didn’t weigh myself again this week!)

Maternity Clothes: I finally caved and bought 2 nursing bras. I went to a local Baby/Mama store which specializes in fitting boobs of all sizes. I used to wear a 36 GG pre-pregnancy. I’m currently measuring a 41 in my band!!!!!!!!!!!! The lovely Sales Associate explained to me that my rib cage will go back down once baby arrives. She recommended I buy size 38 and use an extender for now. I picked up a Cake Nursing Bra (underwire) in size 38 I and a Bravado Bliss Nursing Bra (no underwire) in 38 H/I. I have some cup room to grow into, but I may need one size bigger when my milk first comes in. The goal was to find me something that will work now and hopefully further down the road. The Associate also recommended no underwire for the first 6-8 weeks, but for now the Cake bra is AMAZINGLY comfortable.


  • Low iron = SO TIRED. Not sure if iron supplements are working. I could easily nap more than once a day.
  • Peeing constantly
  • Sore back/ribs
  • Carpal tunnel in my right wrist. It started this weekend with tingling in my hand. I confirmed it with my Chiro this morning. She gave me some stretches to do and said to get a brace if it gets bad. Good thing I’m right handed! :/

Sleep: We just finished a heat wave. The first cool night, I slept AWESOME! (translation: only got up to pee once that night). I still find sleeping to be difficult due to being uncomfortable.

Food Cravings: Black forest cake, Peaches

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing new this week

Movement: He’s been less active the past few days, but his activity picked up this morning. I try poking him to wake him up, but we find playing music is the best solution.

Stretch Marks: Moving up higher now – lower tummy and parallel with my belly button

Baby Bump: Growing and growing… Sorry for the bad pic. The sun was shining in our back door this morning. 


Gender: BOY

Labour Signs: Too early.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie, but my ectopic scar is almost completely exposed now. I don’t have much depth left.

Wedding Rings on or off?: Off due to the heat.

Happy or Moody?: I’ve been good lately except I’ve realized that I am even more sensitive to group energy since getting pregnant. I need to take more time to protect and cleanse myself. My nephew’s birthday party was a big crowd. I had to meditate the next morning to release some anxiety I had picked up.

Purchases for baby:

  • Clothes – someone take my VISA away! When I looked at our current stash, I realized my kid pretty much only has sleepers right now.  I picked up a snowsuit, pants and a few onesies from GAP and the Children’s Place.
  • A custom mobile from Etsy. I’ll post photos once we receive it! It may have a rainbow/unicorn theme which took a bit of convincing with my husband. 😀
  • Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags – on sale at London Drugs
  • Medela Calma Nipple – on sale at London Drugs, since we already have a ton of Medela bottles that came with our pump
  • Letters to make a name sign (which I will keep hidden until after our little guy arrives)
  • A few extra frames for the nursery

Purchases for Momma: 

  • Items for my hospital bag – pads, lip balm, Depends. Yes I bought female diapers. My friend recommended the Depends Silhouette briefs for those first few days post-partum. My husband keeps asking me to try them on, so he can make fun of me. I’m refusing.
  • Nursing bras

Miss Anything?: Not feeling like my stomach is in the back of my throat, not having little footsies in my ribs

Looking forward to:

  • Receiving our rocking chair to finish the nursery.
  • Receiving our mobile
  • Being off work in 6 weeks

What’s in a name?

Last year when we were waiting for our FET cycle, my good friend Shannon introduced me to her friend Melanie, who is a Numerologist. I decided to get a session with her as she was visiting my city for a few days. I was feeling despair following our loss and needed a bit of hope going into our FET cycle. That being said, I am a firm believer in not always seeking answers from outside of yourself. When I have a reading, it’s more often to validate the knowingness I have already picked up on.

Numerology was a new field for me, but it’s become a fascinating one. During my first session with Melanie, she explained the principles behind numerology and asked me for my full name, my husband’s full name and our birth dates. After doing her calculations, she filled me in on some of our personality traits and life path lessons. She was also very adamant that our FET cycle would be a success for us. I didn’t write about it at the time. I also didn’t focus on it. I put it in the back of my mind.

It wasn’t until a few months ago when Shannon told me she had let Melanie know that we were pregnant that I remembered her prediction or should I say calculation. 🙂

Melanie insisted that I reach out to her for a baby name reading when we were ready to decide on his name. When naming a child, the philosophies of numerology state that a name can determine what karmic (or life) lessons and personality traits a child will be born into this world with.

I sent Melanie what our top name choice was and a few different spelling variations that we were considering. Over the lunch hour today, I had my call with her to see what came up. The most fascinating part was that my husband and I have both been going back and forth on the baby’s name lately. I kept feeling like it was missing something or not quite right. Melanie suggested that we add another middle name to the mix which is one that we originally had on our top name list. My husband has two middle names, so using this approach works for us.

Our final name choice actually gives him zero inherited karma – meaning he comes into this life with a clean slate. Melanie said it’s very rare to find a name like that.

She also filled me in on various personality traits that he is likely to have:

  • Old soul
  • Intuitive
  • Sensitive – could be to energy, feelings or even food intolerances (like his Mom)
  • Compassionate
  • Adaptable to change
  • Doesn’t like to make decisions (like his Dad! HA!)
  • Very smart (also like his Mom!)

We dug deeper into how each trait will affect him in his life and with his relationships with us, his parents. She also gave me some insight and advice for the next year for both my husband and I. Note: I’ve really only given very high-level details from my numerology readings. Each session is different, but you do get many more details and explanation. 

We still plan on keeping our little guy’s name a secret until he’s born, but I’m happy to say we’ve finally picked his name!

I plan on meeting up with Melanie after baby is born, so she can meet him and to do another reading that factors in his birth date (as this gives you much more insight).

If you are interested in getting reading for yourself or your baby, check out Melanie’s Facebook page: The Joy of Numerology. Melanie is based out of Edmonton, Alberta, but she also does sessions via phone or Skype.

Melanie has helped many other women dealing with infertility to find reassurance and even pick the best time for their next treatment cycle. I know this school of thought can be too out there for some people, but I encourage you to try it out if you are feeling drawn to it. Don’t forget to mention that you know me! I don’t get any benefit for referrals besides building connection between two people. ❤