The secrets of pregnancy

Most evenings you go bra-less because your belly is bloated and your heartburn is BAD. This is also when your nipples tend to leak.

You have peed yourself… and decided to keep the peed-in undies on. What’s the point in changing them if you are likely to do it again? 

You have the biggest bush of your life… but the thought of trimming it more than every other week is WAY too much effort right now.

Some days, you’d rather not deal with the uncomfortableness of intimacy with your husband. Yes, it’s weird when the baby moves when he puts the moves on you! 

But really, the true definition of pleasure is rotating those tight hips on your birth ball and climbing into an epsom salt bath that may be a bit hotter than your whale thermometer says it should be. 

Never in your life have you ever wanted a personal chef more than you do now.

You have gotten into the routine of brushing your teeth around noon or whenever you have to first leave the house. What’s the point of brushing them first thing in the morning when it just makes you puke? 

Your va-jay-jay leaks more than Niagara Falls… and your bed sheets display the evidence of it.

When the poop chute is blocked, you do what you gotta do. You’ve become an expert on ass suppositories and all things constipation-related.

You can never nap longer than an hour straight because if you do you have to pee and the extra bloat causes your acid reflux to kick in.

You seriously evaluate whether bending over is worth the effort. Sometimes when you drop something, you leave it for your husband to pick up later.

You thank Mother Nature for a dry season with less weeds because your flower garden is majorly neglected. You can’t bend over for long periods of time without puking acid.

As much as you enjoy feeling your baby move, you despise the days he kicks your ribs or your cervix too many times.

Even though your bump (aka the blump) is lumpy, saggy and covered in stretch marks, you’ve learned to embrace it! In fact, you kinda like it. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but it’s growing a baby! How cool is that?

The miracle of pregnancy amazes you – even with all of its glorious side effects. Pregnancy been one of the most challenging, interesting, and exciting times of your life.

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34 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 34 weeks and 6 days

Meds: All taken daily – prenatal vitamin, Omega 3 + DHA, Ranitidine (2x/day), Magnesium (250mg at bedtime as per my chiro’s recommendation), Gaviscon for heartburn as required (which is OFTEN!).

Baby is the size of: a savoy cabbage or a honeydew melon

Best Moments This Week:

  • Hanging curtains and the art in the nursery. It’s almost ready to show everyone.
  • Having a random girl get all excited about my bump in Old Navy. She is the first stranger to acknowledge my pregnancy in public. It was nice, yet awkward at the same time.
  • Receiving a few bags of size newborn to 2T clothes from my sister-in-law. I was quite surprised by how generous she was. It was much appreciated.
  • When my husband unexpectedly showed up to my OB appointment. He was rained out at the farm and surprised me. ❤
  • Finding out this friend is pregnant again. I was so happy to hear their good news.

Worst Moment of the Week: Yesterday was the first time I’ve really felt HUGE. All of a sudden the fact that I have a protruding belly hit me. We were meeting friends for supper and I felt like I had nothing comfortable to wear. I kept calling myself a “stuffed sausage”. In retrospect, I know I was over tired and hungry, but I definitely was having a low self esteem moment. My changing belly shape didn’t help either. I also really need a haircut (my hair has grown so fast during pregnancy). It’s top of my list to get myself booked in. If my hair looks/feels good, it can totally help with the whole package.

Total Weight Gain: a total of approx 16 lbs based on my scale at home, not the OBs. I went for lunch with a friend before my OB appointment on Friday. I ain’t taking his scale as legit because this Momma had just eaten a big cheeseburger. haha 🙂

Maternity Clothes: I bought a wrap sweater at Old Navy on the weekend. Our nights are turning cooler and although I can still do my pre-pregnancy hoodies up, they are not overly comfortable. I’m going to try to tough it out til the end now. No more maternity purchases. I’ve got 4 pairs of comfy pants in rotation (not including my maternity jeans which are pretty much unworn). I worked retail for 6+ years over high school and University. I was always used to having a TON of clothes. Maternity clothing has been an interesting experience for me. It’s the first time I’ve really worked hard to make the most with less items of clothing.

Symptoms:

  • Baby has dropped.
  • Sore hips/lower back/pelvis – the sorest muscle is to the right side of my pelvic bone. Let’s just say it looks a little awkward when I try to massage it. My back is super sore by the end of each day and when I wake up in the morning. I’ve started having baths to relieve some of the pain. My husband has also been good at helping me with stretches and releases that my chiropractor or physiotherapist have shown me. My chiro doesn’t want me wearing a support belt yet, but has suggested I wear my belly band or wrap my tummy if it’s bothering me.
  • Belly shape has changed. I still have a slight B, but since baby dropped, the bottom half looks saggy/hanging. It’s no quite as tight anymore (then again, I have a chubby tummy. Was it ever?) I googled it. Turns out this is also a “thing”. I don’t very much like the appearance of it, but I’ll take a lower belly over feeling like my stomach is in my throat.
  • Lots of mental energy, but not much physical energy.
  • Slight prego insomnia – like once a week, I find I wake up at 3 am and have a hard time going back to sleep. This week it was Friday night. I got up and journalled. I returned to bed around 6am and fell back asleep for 2 hours. Weekend nights aren’t bad, but it sucks if it happens on a week night.
  • Leaky boobs
  • Constipation. Yes, I stopped taking my iron because of it.
  • Less heartburn, carpal tunnel is almost gone

Sleep: Not comfortable at all any more.

Food Cravings: Peaches, chocolate, ice cold water,

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing new this week.

Movement: Typically, I find he’s quiet if I’m in a loud social setting. However, this weekend he was a rockin’ and a rollin’ when my husband and I went out after a football game. The pub was loud and baby was moving all over the place. He was particularly found of this one “funny guy”. Every time he talked, the baby moved. I did inform him that even though the baby was fond of him we would NOT be naming our little man after him.

Stretch Marks: Yup – moving higher up now. Itchy. I’ve been using BioOil on them, but honestly not noticing a difference at all.

Baby Bump: Growing and growing…
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Gender: BOY – although my husband thinks it’s funny to bring up, “What if it is a girl?” :/

Labour Signs: Braxton Hicks have increased. Nothing else though.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie, but not much left. My massage therapist keeps saying it looks like it’s sticking it’s tongue out because my ectopic scar is all bubbled and gross.

Wedding Rings on or off?: Off. Even though it’s cooling off, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

Happy or Moody?: A bit up and down. Generally still in a good mood unless I’m hangry or over tired. My anxiety has been triggered quite often lately. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about family issues, only to tell myself to stop wasting my time and energy as I’ve got more important things to put my energy towards.

Purchases for baby:

  • New baby monitor (long story to come…)
  • A few more size Newborn sleepers – just in case

Purchases for Momma: 

  • A maternity sweater
  • More Gaviscon – no joke.

Miss Anything?:

Looking forward to:

  • Being off work… but not all the work I have to do before then.
  • Taking a few maternity photos this weekend to help a friend build her portfolio
  • Our local Perinatal Loss Awareness Walk on October 3rd (as long as baby stays in til then)
  • The actual arrival of our little man

Pelvic pain update

Well… I find this post ironic due to all of My Perfect Breakdown‘s talk about self-care lately and TheBarrenLibrarian‘s suggestion to find the happy medium.

I honestly think I have not been listening to my body. Yesterday, I spent way too many consecutive hours sitting in front of the computer. Yes, I may have switched to my exercise ball rather than my office chair, but when the damage is done, it’s done. I’ve known for quite a few days now that my back/pelvis were tightening up, but I wasn’t doing enough to prevent it.

In the afternoon, I wrapped by belly using my Boba wrap (similar to the Moby) as suggested by DrunkStorks. I followed this video:

Last night, I went for a walk. As much as it was cumbersome and achey at first, it actually helped to loose up the tightness I was experiencing in the front of my pelvis.

I also checked out the Spinning Babies website as per SpiritBabyComeHome’s recommendation to use the rebozo.  Since I didn’t have a rebozo, my husband and I tried the rebozo sifting exercise using the Boba wrap. It worked alright. He could use a bit more practice though. I also did the forward leaning inversion. I highly recommend having a spotter because I don’t know how I would have gotten out of this pose without my husband’s help! After that, I just sat on my birth ball rotating my hips.

Was I still sore after sleeping this morning? Yes, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been.

I’ve decided to follow the daily activities listed on Spinning Babies which include:

  • Walk every day
  • Do a forward-leaning inversion
  • Follow optimal maternal positioning
  • Stretch
  • PSOAS release
  • Hip openers
  • Pelvic tilts
  • Rest smart
  • Relax

Each pose or activity includes instructions and recommendations for when it’s best for you (meaning you don’t HAVE to do everything every day!)

I’m also going to keep up (and possibly increase the frequency) of my regularly scheduled appointments: chiro, massage, physio and acupuncture.

In the end, it all comes down to self-care. I need to take more time to listen to my body and do what it needs to relax and release. It’s all for the greater good. If Mom’s body is loose, baby should have an easier time coming out.

Thanks to everyone for all your amazing suggestions. I love the power this community has. ❤

Pain in the… ?

WARNING: This is going to be a complaining/inquiring about pregnancy symptoms post. If you don’t want to read that, feel free to move on. 🙂

For the past week or so now, I’ve had horrible lower back pain at night. Doesn’t matter if I sleep on my left side, my right side or my back, it doesn’t go away.

The past two days, I’ve noticed pain in my front pelvic area when I get up from sitting or when I’m walking.

I also have an increased sense of heaviness in my pelvis that makes me wonder if my little man has started dropping?

Last night I had a bath and did a few exercises that my Physiotherapist recommended. NOTHING seemed to help. I was just as sore when I got in the bath as I was when I got out. The water was soothing, but didn’t take the aches away.

I’ve also been confused as to whether I have mild cramping or if that’s just the pelvic muscles being sore? Maybe it’s just that constant dull ache in my lower back reminds me of pre-period cramps?

Is this pelvic girdle pain? Does anyone have any experience or tips to alleviate the symptoms?

Navigating the next 2WW

Pregnancy symptoms mean so much to you after you have endured infertility treatments and pregnancy loss. Every twitch, ache, stomach flip, hot flash and wave of exhaustion validates that your body is growing a baby. This morning, I had my first major nausea episode. I was getting ready for work when it came on. I dry heaved over the toilet and the sink, but didn’t actually throw up. I’ve been feeling fine since then.

My friend Alicia from ladylovenandbabydust recommended the Ovia Pregnancy and Pregnancy+ apps. I’ve been following them daily for updates. Right now, my baby’s spleen is starting to appear. Absolutely Fascinating!

I’m 6 weeks, 4 days today. Each time I see that number increase, I feel some relief. There’s 9 days til our first official ultrasound. Although we got a sneak peak in the OB’s office last week, we didn’t ask to hear a heartbeat. I will feel much better after our next appointment.

With my hormonal irritability and my anxiousness for our next scan, I haven’t been as centered the past couple of days. There’s a few lingering family/friend issues that are bothering me. I’m going to sit down tonight  to do a mediation exercise that my fertility coach sent me called, “Releasing Energetic Ties that Bind”. I have some forgiveness and releasing work to do. I want to get back to a place where I’m 100% focused on my husband, myself and our baby.

As much as I want to fast-forward into the 2nd trimester, I keep reminding myself to appreciate this time. Even though there is some uncertainty, there is much joy and happiness.

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Beta #3 and pregnancy symptoms

The Barren Librarian – you must have sent the vibes out for me to get an earlier call today! The results are in:

Beta #3 at 15dp5dt is 709!

That is a doubling time of 35.5 hours since Beta #2 on Monday.

We are officially pregnant!

No more betas! WHOHOO! 🙂

I have my initial OB consult at 6 weeks next Wednesday, Feb 18th. One of the joys of having a previous ectopic pregnancy = you get monitored sooner. Unless the OB does a scan in-office next week, my first ultrasound is being scheduled for 7 weeks.

As for symptoms, I’m currently EXHAUSTED. I am normally a night owl, but I’ve been in bed between 8-9pm each night.

My sore boobs come and go, but my ta-tas are already getting bigger. I feel like a fem-bot with my perky nips.

I’m also constantly hungry! NOM NOM NOM Seriously, I woke up to pee (oh yeah – always peeing) at 3am and I could have sat down for a 4 course meal. I’m making an effort to increase my protein and water intake to curb the hunger.

The bloated feeling comes and goes, but I’m not even close to as big as I was after my fresh retrieval. I can’t complain about that!

I’m 5 weeks today. My nurse calculated our due date is October 15th, 2015.

Our due date is the day before my husband’s birthday! I keep telling him he’s not getting a store bought present this year. I’m growing him the best present ever! ❤

And now… I’m going home to sleep. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

5dp5dt: symptom check-in

Wow. My emotions have been flying high.

I cried myself to sleep Friday night and had a major meltdown on my husband Saturday morning. It was like hope had been sucked from my me. I kept telling him I should have symptoms by now and that it must not have worked. He kept telling me to relax and give it a few days, but my irrational, emotional mind wouldn’t listen.

When I finally got my shit together, we ran some errands, then went for supper at my husband’s Aunt and Uncle’s house. After supper, we went to a friend’s to play games. Once again, I had a good time, lots of laughs and no alcohol. I can honestly say that I don’t miss drinking.

Getting out of the house yesterday was the best thing I could do for myself. I worked from home on Friday and being alone all day – even if I was distracting myself with work – just gave my mind too many opportunities to ponder our current situation. We also declined an invitation to visit with friends on Friday night and instead, stayed in to watch Netflix. Lesson learned: when I’m feeling highly volatile, I need to surround myself with my support people to regain my balance.

As for symptoms, this is where I’m at:

  • Cramping during 1-2dpt (no implantation spotting though)
  • Bloatedness that comes and goes; a sense of fullness in my womb
  • Slightly sore boobs (an increase since yesterday though)
  • My nails are harder. I noticed this during my last pregnancy.
  • Chest/back acne – this one is gross! Yesterday morning my chest, back and shoulder broke out in tiny little zits. YUCK! I don’t normally have acne. This is very odd for me.

I keep reminding myself that I can not compare this cycle to last as too many variables are different. I have no fake HCG in my system. Besides Estrace, Prometrium and PIO, my body is doing all the work on it’s own.

I think my breakdown yesterday was most likely hormonal, but also a bit of a protection mechanism. Less connected = less hurt? Well, I know that is a farce. It’s hard no matter what. Last time, I was so connected that I was crushed when we found out our pregnancy was an ectopic. Leading up to our FET, I did lots of visualization exercises, but I haven’t let myself get as connected to these spirit babies. It eases my anxiety to keep myself at arms length right now. I will grow my relationship with these babies when the time feels right.

I’m still staying strong and keeping away from the pee sticks. My goal remains to make it to 8dp5dt – this Wednesday. 3 days to go… Wish me luck. XO

happyending