Why does my parenting approach matter to you?

I sent a news article about how you won’t spoil your baby by picking them up to my Dad and he responded with,”You will pay for it later…”¬†

How?

How will I pay later for loving and tending to my child’s needs now?

I told my Dad I actually think my husband and I will pay less as our son (hopefully) won’t be in counselling dealing with all of the childhood issues that my husband and I both struggle with. HA HA HA HA ūüôā

My Mom encouraged my SIL to move my nephew to his crib at 3 months.

My husband’s Uncle constantly tells us to let Wyatt “cry it out”.

His Aunt thinks that co-sleeping is dangerous, that my breast milk isn’t enough to sustain my son, and that we should already be feeding him mashed potatoes.

Why does everyone have an opinion? Why is our parenting style so difficult for our families to understand and accept?

I’m not hardcore with schedules, but I am fairly crunchy.

I breastfeed on demand.

Wyatt is 100% in cloth diapers.

I baby wear when it works for us, particularly for afternoon naps. We often use the stroller for outings though.

Wyatt gets a ton of cuddles and snuggles, but he also gets equal play time on his floor mat and in the exersaucer.

For me, parenting is about balance. It’s about listening to my child and trusting that my husband and I know what’s best for him.

Some days ¬†I have no trouble ignoring the unsolicited advice, but other days I can help but want to scream at them, “WHO ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION ANYWAY?”

Deep breath. 

 

 

 

Advertisements

From Corporate life to motherhood

I just logged into my work account to catch up on Corporate news. I¬†wanted to see if anyone else has come or gone since Christmas. There wasn’t anything too exiting in my inbox, but I know I’m not¬†being cc’d on much¬†activity related to regular operations or¬†projects.

Right now, I’m going to take a few minutes to myself online while Wyatt naps in his carrier.¬†It’s funny how much life changes once you have a little one.

image

My highlight of the day was finding a nursing room at one of our local malls. It’s an older, dingy mall. I don’t go there often at all, but I wanted to find a Valentine’s day gift for my husband. As we were shopping, Wyatt pooped. It’s a given that anytime you venture to a major shopping centre your kid will decide it’s time to shit himself. I changed him in a family washroom, but discovered a door labelled “Nursing”. I opened it and sure enough there was a sink, a counter and two rocking chairs. We went in, sat down and Wyatt had his lunch. It wasn’t the nicest room, but it was clean. I don’t have an issues feeding in public anymore. ¬†In fact, I’ll whip it out just about anywhere now, but¬†concept of the nursing room was nice – a small, quaint space for you to connect with your baby away from the busyness of the mall.¬†I’ve decided to check and see if our other malls have anything similar.

The second highlight of my day was receiving FLUFF mail! I have totally become one of those¬†Moms who gets a kick out of purchasing diapers, baby-wearing supplies or kids clothes online. ¬†My most recent purchases arrived today which included a rainbow cloth diaper and an “Eat Local” onesie purchased on Zulily.

image

My husband heckles me about budget. I’ve been doing my own selling on our local classifieds to fund my online purchases. We just sold¬†our swing as it was just sitting unused in my office and we¬†are using our borrowed Mamaroo more. I hope to update you all on what baby items actually worked for us soon!

The third highlight of my day was buying new laundry detergent to wash our cloth diapers. We didn’t need a new brand or anything. We just ran out and our local store is also out of that brand, so we are trying a different one. I used to hate laundry, but I don’t mind it anymore. This may sound crazy, but it gives me a purpose – something to accomplish besides feeding and changing a baby all day long.

image

I love my time with my son, but there’s no doubt that it has been a¬†transition to go from¬†a¬†super busy working woman to a Mom who’s on maternity leave. Honestly though, I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. ‚̧

 

Hey time! Can you slow down please?

It’s ironic that while trying to conceive you wish and hope and pray for each cycle to progress. You anticipate getting to the end of that 2ww and testing for your BFP. When you are finally pregnant,  you anxiously await your baby’s arrival 9 months later. Pregnancy can drag on and on especially that last month. Then,  your baby arrives and before you know it they are talking their baby talk, smiling, giggling, rolling around and…

Wearing size 6 month clothes!!!!

Say what!?!?!

Yes, Wyatt has outgrown size 3. He is now wearing size 3-6 or 6 depending on the brand. He’s only (just about) 10 weeks old.

I spent an hour this evening reorganizing his dresser and closet. I have an entire Rubbermaid bin of clothes that are practically brand new –  washed but never worn – and now packed away with the hopes of using them for another child. We got good use out of the sleepers, but that’s it. I have half of another Rubbermaid bin that I’ve decided to sell or donate.

Luckily, we have a good selection of the next size up due to hand me downs and gifts. I’m so glad I asked people to buy us bigger sizes.

Wyatt had his 2 month immunizations last week. At that appointment he was 23.5 inches long and 13.5 lbs (the doctors office measured his length wrong the week before as the nurse just kind of eye balled it). Clearly my baby boy is thriving. He’s in the 85th percentile for both weight and height.

I wish that time would slow down a bit. Wyatt seems so advanced already. It’s amazing to watch him grow and learn, but shocking how quickly it happens.

I typically like to watch for sales and bargain shop when I can. At the rate this kid is growing, I’ve got no clue what he size he will be in for upcoming seasons.

As for clothes, I find fluffy bums harder to dress. We have been cloth diapering even when we go out these days. I ordered a pair of jeans designed specifically for cloth, so I’ll let you know how they fit once they arrive. I also just bought a pair of Maxaloones to see how that style works.

As for future clothing purchases, what brands do you find fit bigger? What pants are particularly good for fluffy cloth diaper bums?

Unsolicited parenting advice

Wowzers. It turns out that people offering parenting advice is JUST AS ANNOYING as the advice we received when trying to conceive.

I’ve received the following comments:

  • Just let him cry it out!¬†He needs to develop his lungs.¬†My baby is 7 weeks old. He has a set of needs that we fulfil – comfort being one of them. There is no reason for him to cry it out.
  • He should be sleeping in his crib.¬†We’ve decided to co-sleep. I am breastfeeding and this is the easiest for us. We will move him to the crib when we feel the time is right.
  • You shouldn’t let him pacify at the breast.¬†I’m just going to assume that pacifers were created by a man… and yes, Wikipedia proves me right... in the early 1900s to mimic the nipple as a way for infants to self-soothe. You really don’t think the original and most natural pacifier is bad for my son? Besides, he’s only been on the boob 5 mins longer than his feed… he ain’t crying. What’s your issue?
  • Cloth diapers are not better for the environment.¬†I’m not going to get into the environmental or economical¬†arguments¬†surrounding cloth vs. disposables.¬†I’m just going to say: cloth diapering works better for us and our little man prefers it. If you aren’t doing my laundry, you don’t get an opinion in my household.
  • Just give him a soother. He’s not really hungry. He just ate.¬†Oh really? You know what my baby’s hunger queues are from spending 1 hour with him? I on-demand feed. Baby eats when he wants to eat, not on a set schedule or when it’s¬†convenient¬†for you… because you want to hold him right now. :/
  • You don’t want people to see your breasts! *gasp* *shocked expression*!!!!!¬†Since having my son, I have a new found appreciation for my breasts as a non-sexual source of nourishment and comfort. Wyatt hates the hooter hider. I don’t ask you to eat your supper under a blanket, why should he?

I try my hardest to ignore endless rants that don’t align with our choices. It’s also much easier to give basic responses (or change the subject) rather than constantly having to defend our choices.¬†Although I think life would be much more amusing if I gave the answers above! ūüôā

Today, I also stumbled upon a post, Not Amused by Mama at Heart, that contains friendly holiday reminders for families dealing with newborns this season. I suggest you check it out as I second everything she said!

image

 

 

The start of mothering and healing

Where has the time gone? I’ve been trying to write a post for a while now, but getting two hands on my laptop at once is difficult these days. I’m writing this post at 5:30 am on my cell phone in the bath tub. Mike made me go to bed early last night. I’ve already had 6 hours of (interrupted) sleep even though I’ve been up for an hour and a half. My body and mind are wide awake. It’s funny how you adjust.

Wyatt is already over 5 weeks old. The longest stretch he’s gone between feedings at night is 6.5 hours; although, we average about 3. He’s a nighthawk like his Momma. He prefers to go to bed later at like 11pm and sleep in until 9 am (with feedings in between). We’re trying to get him to bed earlier though.

He’s been on a nap strike for the past few days. He clings to me and doesn’t want to be put down. For two days, he didn’t have a decent nap (translation: more than 10 minutes) until 3pm. Yesterday, I’ve found success by putting him in my new Ergobaby carrier. I picked it up last night. Another couple purchased it by didn’t use it. It still even¬†had the tags on. I tried a Boba stretchy wrap, but little man hates being confined and needs his arms out. He’s not a swaddler at all. I also tried a Beco (original model). I bought it used for an extremely good deal, but the shoulder straps kept falling off after multiple adjustments. It just wasn’t the right fit for me. I hope the Ergo is the one.

Wyatt is still a milk monster. He loves to eat and I’m grateful that my supply is good. My left nipple is still bothering me. I’ve been experiencing vasopasms from poor latch. Changing positions has helped (football works best). I was exhausted the other night and let him eat in the side lying position in bed. He went to town on it after I fell asleep and it’s sore again. I might stop in at a local lactation clinic this week and see if they have any additional advice.

As for me, my lady bits are STILL healing. The stitches are almost gone, but I’ve still got a few. I’ve notice the most progress this week, but it still gets sore and itchy. I had a reaction earlier this week where I sprayed perenium spray too soon after using Anusol. My entire ass crack was red and burning. I decided to avoid the use of any product for a week and the healing has sped up. My reccomendation for others who experience a similar episiotomy and tear is to keep it clean and dry. Bath a few times a day. Use a perenium spray early on if it’s too dry and the stitches are pulling, but your healing will speed up if you let nature take its course.

As for the past few weeks, I’m adjusting well to motherhood. The biggest challenge has been accepting a slower pace of life (and the fact that my once spotless house is now a clutter zone). Wyatt determines the schedule and sometimes Momma won’t be able to get done what she hoped to that day. Overall, my son is such a content little baby. He only fusses if he’s hungry, wet or needs a burp – and I’m very grateful for this!

Wyatt was a bit gassy this week. I’m going to eliminate a few foods this next week and see if a can determine which caused it (Dairy? Tomatoes? Chocolate?). I haven’t been good at following my own food aversions lately. Fixing the diet should fix the tummy for both of us.

One funny thing about Wyatt is he hates being in a wet diaper and it’s even worse if it’s a disposable. I finally got him into cloth diapers for 2 days last week. He didn’t fuss as much if his cloth diaper was wet.

As for the cloth, I’m finding the most luck with my Prefolds or Hybrid styles. I have some Bummis Prefolds, but my husband hates folding and how bulky they are. They are fine for when I’m home alone with the little man. The huge lot of used diapers I bought contained both Flip Hybrids and BumGenius Pockets in both snaps and aplex (velcro). All the reviews you read online say that BumGenius fit awesome and velcro can give you a tighter fit than snaps. Well, that’s not the case for me. The Velcro BumGenius are too big in the legs for Wyatt. I even tried a brand new diaper to see if maybe the replaced elastic was still too stretched. I am finding luck with my Flip covers and liners, and some of the BumGenius pockets with snaps. I’m going to hang onto the Velcro pockets and see if he grows into them, but if not, I’ll just resell them. I scoured the Black Friday sales and managed to find a great deal on 2 more Flip covers and 2 more sets of liners. Since those fit the best, we will go with it for now. I actually think I’m going to use cloth wipes at home too. I’m picking up a purchased but never actually used wipes warmer later this week. yes, I’m a sucker for watching the online used baby ads. Seriously, you can save a fortune by buying gently used items!

My mom and my sister came for a visit when Wyatt was 3 weeks old. I don’t want to get into how horribly wrong it went, but I’ll just say that I have some work to do on healing my relationship with my Mother. And I think I’ve finally come to a place of completely letting go of my very broken relationship with my sister. It’s all for the best.

Oh and… my fertile brother and his wife are expecting Baby #2. This wasn’t a surprise to us, but it did stir up my fear and anxieties around what it may take for us to have a second child.

I’ve decided to work with a intituive midwife from New Zealand who helps women heal from birth trauma. I stumbled upon her online and was drawn to her program as it appeared to have similarities to the fertility coaching I had done. I didn’t realize Wyatt’s birth had affected me negatively until I started feeling uneasy about my perineum healing. I kept replaying this image of my baby being ripped from my vagina over and over again in my head. I feel disconnected from my sexuality and sensuality, but I know that can take some time for a new Mom to regain it. I’m feeling encouraged to put myself out there again, dig deep into the issues and sort out how I’m feeling. There’s also deep connections between a woman’s birth experience and her own relationship with her Mother. I think it’s perfect timing for me to explore that.

I was concerned about cost of the program and being on maternity leave, but the universe has unveiled some positive signs that we can make it work. My husband had a better year on the farm than he expected and offered me some funds. And the cost of the healing program just went on promotion! Besides, I’m a firm believer than self healing and growth is always a good investment. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes once the program starts.

Baby Buys – Part 7: Preparing to cloth diaper

I decided a long time ago that I wanted to try cloth diapering. Once I started researching it, I realized it’s kinda complicated. There’s so many options and I didn’t know where to start.

A few weeks ago, I visited a local baby boutique that specializes in cloth diapering for some advice. This boutique is known for their excellent customer service. They are in business to help women, rather than try to upsell them. The associate ran me through all of the different style options and costs. In the end, it was obvious that prefolds are typically the least expensive option.

Later that night, I was browsing my favourite local online classifieds and found a Bummis Organic Cotton Infant Diaper Kit for sale, never used for $180 Р$40 off local retail price. This kit is for infants 8-15 lbs and is the prefold + cover style. The kit includes:

  • 24 Organic Cotton Prefold Inserts (infant)
  • 6 waterproof wraps: 1 Simply Lite, 1 Duo-Brite Wrap, 3 Super Whisper Wraps, 1 Super Snap
  • 3 rolls of Bio-Soft Liners (small)
  • 5 Fleece Liners
  • 1 Fabulous Wet Bag (large)
  • 1 Snappi
  • User Guide

I decided to pick it up to begin my adventure into cloth diapering. The woman also threw in a few extra rolls of the Bio-soft liners. 

bummis

I also connected with another amazing friend who is a big cloth diaper and baby-wearer. One night a few weeks ago, I stopped by her place to view her stash of diapers. She compiled her cloth diaper collection through gifts or buying used, and a combination of trial and error. She explained what she likes/dislikes about each one. She loves prefolds personally, but finds they are more difficult for her husband and other family members to use. She said they like pocket-style better and her preferred brand is Bum Genius. She also explained the pros/cons of snaps versus velcro.

I was excited to hear that buying used is an option. I didn’t realize there was such a market for used cloth diapers. The thing is with proper care, they can truly last for years! My friend tagged me in a classified post of a huge variety lot of diapers, but they were gone immediately. After I realized how much you can save buying good condition¬†used diapers, I decided to start my own hunt.

I found a used Bum Genius and Flip lot for $250. Although this seemed like a big dip in my pocket book, the lot was worth well over $700 brand new retail price. It included not only diapers and inserts, but the diaper sprayer for the toilet, 4 wet bags, and a 2L container of laundry detergent. I sent the ad to my friend for her approval. She confirmed that it was an excellent deal.

bumgenius

The total lot included:

  • 6 Twilight Velcro Bum Genius 4.0 pocket diaper
  • 6 Grasshopper Velcro Bum Genius 4.0 pocket diaper
  • 6 Albert print Snaps Bum Genius 4.0 pocket diaper
  • 4 Mirror snap Flip diaper covers
  • 2 extra large wet bags
  • 1 small travel wet bag
  • 1 wipes wet bag
  • 1 Bum Genius diaper sprayer
  • 21 small inserts
  • 28 large inserts
  • 9 Flip diaper inserts
  • 2 L¬†of cloth diaper detergent

I contacted the poster and hoped this would work out for me. When you¬†purchase used items, there’s always that fear that 1) the house¬†will be super sketchy, 2) the person¬†will be super sketchy or 3) the product won’t be as advertised. All my fears disappeared when I heard back from the seller a few days later and¬†arranged a time to see the diapers. This woman, her husband and children were all adorable. She explained how to use each item to me and how she handled washign them. She even threw¬†in a few extra covers and liners that she had at no extra cost (not listed above as I¬†pulled those numbers from her ad).

She had also recently replaced the elastic in a few covers and threw in a few extra elastic/velcro replacement kits for me. Bum Genius actually sells replacement elastic and velcro kits. I may consider replacing the elastic in a few other covers just to ensure they are a tight fit for our baby. I watched some tutorials online and it seems like an easy fix. Although the velcro and elastics were going in a few covers, that is regular expected wear. The rest of the lot was in very, very good used condition with no stains. I paid well under half of full retail price per diaper. I have no problem putting in a bit of effort for maintenance if it means that much savings to start. Another plus about Bum Genius is that they adjust to fit almost all sizes. No need to upgrade once baby reaches the toddler stage!

So far, we are $430 invested into cloth diapering with a combo of brand new/used styles. I have MORE THAN enough diapers to last me right through to potty training. I’m debating just using the wet bags and not getting a diaper pail which may save us even more money.

One thing my husband and I have agreed upon is that if our baby is too small to fit cloth right away (which is highly likely), we will use disposables for the first few weeks. I’m also open to using disposables¬†for convenience when travelling. I’d prefer to use a more eco-friendly disposable diaper, but those options are so expensive.

We’ve also agreed that if we end up truly frustrated, we will just resell our cloth diaper stash, but I do really hope this venture works out for us.¬†I’ll be sure to let you know as we go. ūüôā

Check out our other purchases: