I was feeling nauseous. It had been all day – on and off.
I described it as like when I was pregnant.
Why, oh why did I make that comparison?
He got excited.
I told him to slow down. We had JUST had sex a few days ago.
He commented that we also did it 2 weeks ago to be exact.
Isn’t it ironic that he remembers better than I do now?
He asked if I had taken a test.
I didn’t have any.
He offered to pick some up on his way home.
An hour later, I started puking and the fever set in.
I texted him to forget about the tests. It was only the flu.
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sorrow.
That spark of excitement at the possibility of a miracle pregnancy had been ignited. And just as fast as it was lit, it burnt out again.
I told him I was sorry.
I didn’t realize how stupid and naive I would feel thinking that we could possibly be pregnant…
I didn’t realize it would catch me so off guard.
The floodgates have opened.
The possibility and hope for another child has been brought to the forefront of our minds.
Or maybe it just never really went away?
But did you POAS anyway?! ❤ XOXO
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Nope. Hahaha I figure not buying any will keep that crazy at bay! My nausea is gone today, just a mild fever. Mike ended up sick as well, so it definitely was the flu.
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If POAS is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right (ha ha, just kidding, I hate wasting money, but if they were free…) XO
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oh no, I’m sorry you both got your hopes up.
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I feel the same way!! I was blessed with twins after waiting for my miracle for 10 years. I’m happy – I am! but.. I am feeling that sadness again, that my family still isnt complete. That sadness I get when people announce their pregnancies.. Is this just something I need to process? or do I really want a third kid? Can I even have a 3rd kid. These are my thoughts almost every day.
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I’m so sorry. The flu sucks without all the emotional baggage of IF creeping in. But maybe it was just a small wake up call that bows the time to consider the future of your family?
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Being self employed right now, I feel like we need to wait at least til next Fall to consider IVF again. We aren’t stopping anything in the interim… But you know how it goes.
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For sure I get that big time. I’d ham another right now but there’s so so many factors (mainly financial) that factor in we have to wait too. Probably also next fall. It’s hard to eat when you want it so badly. Even though I can’t have a whoops cause I’m gay and I fertile…I wish I could.
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I love your babes. They are so fricking adorable. Those tub photos were great!
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Glad you’re feeling better but that does hit hard 😦 Prayers!
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