To pee or not to pee?

You may have caught on that I’ve been experiencing some urinary incontinance issues. Over the past year or so, the following situations have caused my pelvic floor to weaken:

  1. Persistent and excessive vomitting from 7 weeks pregnant to 18 weeks pregnant, plus the occasional vomit since then
  2. Being on pelvic rest for almost 20 weeks over the span of 2 pregnancies and 1 surgery recovery
  3. Lack of sexual intercourse (because come on – puking doesn’t make me want it and isn’t really a huge turn on for him either)

I basically started peeing myself during my major puking episodes. The excessive force of continuous heaving left my pelvic floor wide open for my bladder to empty itself. I do fairly well with coughing or sneezing standing up, but if I’m sitting down, it’s all over. This clearly is an inconvienance if I’m working, driving, or doing any other laid back activity. I’ve started wearing liners when I go out just so that I don’t end up with wet pants.

Today, I had my first apppointment with a Physio Therapist who specializes in Women’s Health.

I left with a variety of kegel exercises to do, pelvic releasing stretches, direction on how to roll over, sit up and get out of bed, and strict instructions for how to sleep. If I’m on my side, I can’t let my upper leg/hip roll foward over the bottom leg/hip to avoid putting stress on my pelvis, hips and glutes.

I’m hoping after a few sessions with her, I will notice an improvement and avoid any future issues that may affect this pregnancy or thereafter.

Wish me luck!

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17 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 17 weeks and 5 days

Meds: All taken daily – prenatal vitamin, Omega 3 + DHA, Vitamin D, Zofran (lowered to 1/day), Ranitidine (2x/day), Restorolax (aka Miralax)

Baby is the size of: navel orange or pomegranate

Best Moments This Week: 

  • Noticing my bump get bigger
  • Only puked 5 out of 7 days (and usuaully only 1x day)
  • Spending Mother’s Day with my fur-babies and my husband
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My fur-babies on Mother’s Day evening

Total Weight Gain: +6 lbs – didn’t weigh myself this week

Maternity Clothes: Ended up caving and bought 2 bras in a cup size bigger. I will use the extenders on the rest of my bras. Wearing maternity pants or maxi skirts consistently, but still mixing between regular tops and maternity.

Symptoms:  Nausea has subsided since I’m on the Zofran + Ranitidine. Headaches have subsided too. I’ve been really making an effort to ensure I’m drinking enough water and not letting myself get hungry. I’ve had some round ligament pain this week. I also have some major muscle or tendon pain going down the back of my right hip. I slept funny last night and it’s especially bothering me today.

Sleep: Getting more used to my pillow fort. I still wake up 1-2x a night to pee.

Food Cravings: Ice cold water, popsicles, ice cream, and chicken (I puked my chicken up last night, so it’s crossed off the list now)

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Brushing my teeth, bending over or getting up too fast, coughing

Movement: On and off. No real kicks yet!

Stretch Marks: Nothing new

Baby Bump: Took this photo last week. Still hoping my B rounds itself out more.

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Gender Prediction: BOY! 17 days until we know for sure…

Labour Signs: Too early.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie to start!

Wedding Rings on or off?: On.

Happy or Moody?: Up and down this week. Spent the afternoon with my husband yesterday which was lovely. Work has me a bit anxious as I’m leading a ton of workshops at our head office this week.

Purchases for baby: Nothing this week, but we did receive this book as a gift. Thank you! 🙂 ❤

Miss Anything?: Not feeling like a blump when I bend over. Being able to sleep straight through the night.

Looking forward to: Our anatomy/gender scan on May 28 and making our official announcement!

Combatting nausea and realizing fears

I finally got my Zofran refilled by my GP. Seeing her was a bit ironic as my OB is her Dad! She was super excited for us though. She gave me a 1 year refill (knowing I won’t need that much) and also one for Ranitidine (Zantac) to curb my heartburn. If you have the prescription, you can get it covered by your benefits instead of buying it over the counter.

So far, I’m feeling much better. I tried to skip my night time dose last night, but that proved to be a wrong decision. Things seem to work well if I take 1 pill at night and 1 pill at noon. I’ve realized that I need to stop being so stubborn and take the damn meds. I need some quality of life during this pregnancy. Self-care is important and in this case, taking the meds is caring for myself. This whole medicated versus natural debate keeps coming up in my life though.

In two weeks, my husband and I are starting hypnobirthing classes. I’ve always desired to have a natural birth. Although, I am open to an alternate birth plan if complications arise.

Last night, I had a bath and began to read the Hypnobirthing manual. A few chapters in, I realized that I have SO MUCH FEAR around medical intervention during birth. I have heard many stories lately about full episiotomies, vaccums, foreceps, etc. It almost seems more traumatizing when they intervene while a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth versus simply wheeling you in for a c-section.

I find this fear to be ironic as clearly medical intervention has been a good thing for us. Without it, we would not have conceived our children. As a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss, medical intervention also eases my worries. Every ultrasound and OB appointment gives me validation that my baby is ok.

Still, I long for some control on this journey. I desire one thing to go as I planned… Perhaps that’s the issue? Do I need to let go of ALL need to control?

Either way, I don’t have the answer. I hope to work through it and get to the root cause as we prepare for baby’s arrival.

I’m officially 16 weeks today. 🙂 ❤

The pukefest continues…

Remember how I said I was feeling better? That didn’t last long.

Thursday, I had a bad day. Didn’t puke a lot but felt nauseous all day. I ran out of my Zofran prescription on Friday and lasted all day Saturday before major puking episodes started again. Saturday, I only puked once. Yesterday afternoon, I couldn’t keep anything down after lunch. Today, I ended up calling in sick as I puked probably 10X before noon.

I called my favourite receptionist TWICE today. She said that she had left a note on the OB’s desk last week, but that he was really behind on them. She said she would mark it as URGENT and move it to the top of the pile. I called back end of day and she said there was nothing she could do until she spoke to him after the day’s appointments were done. Clearly, this woman has NEVER been prego sick and is STILL working on that office assertiveness that she is lacking. I got a bit short with her today. I told her I would have came in for an appointment last week, but she told me this could be handled over the phone. Then I said, if I don’t get my prescription filled today, I’ll be calling for an appointment tomorrow and most likely a doctor’s note for missing more time off work.  😦

The fantastic news is: since I’ve stopped Zofran, I’ve had regular poops!!!! That being said, I’ll take marbles out of my ass if it means my head isn’t hung over the toilet all day long. 🙂

I have some Diclectin left. I may pop a few tomorrow, but I really didn’t enjoy the zombie fog that comes along with it.

On Saturday, I was feeling optimistic that I could make it without any anti-nausea medicine. After today, I know I need to do what I need to do to get my work done. We are in the planning phases of a big project at work and I can’t take much time off right now (plus I’m most likely travelling again next week).

I get so frustrated when I get sick, but I keep telling myself life must want me to slow down for the sake of this baby. :/ I’m trying here… but a break that lasts longer than 24 hours would be really nice.

Are things actually looking up?

I’ve lowered my Zofran dose to 1 pill/day. I’m running out of my prescription, so I lowered the dose to ensure I could make it a few more days. I did call my OB’s office for a refill, but we all know how reliable his receptionist can be without persistent nagging… :/

Anyway, I HAVEN’T PUKED SINCE SUNDAY! I’ve dry heaved a few times in the morning. I’ve also had some on and off nausea throughout the day. But, this new-found non-puking stage is awesome! Maybe I just needed my rant on Monday to let it all out and transition into the feeling better version of me?  I’m honestly hoping last week was the worst of the worst and that things are looking up from here. After 7+ weeks of nausea and puking, I’m ready for it to be over!

Also, I found a barely used Halo Bassinet on kijiji for HALF PRICE! I thought this bassinet seemed silly and overpriced until I seen my nephew in it. It adjusts to the height of your bed, swivels for easy access to bed, has see-through mesh to see the baby, etc. The model we got has all the electronic features (which I don’t know how often I will use) and retails brand new in Canada for approximately $300. She also included the fitted mattress sheet which is sold separately. We did splurge a bit more than I had anticipated to get this bassinet, but I just couldn’t pass up the deal!

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I’ve been nervous about early sleeping arrangements as our fur-rascals all sleep with us. The last thing I need is battling 2 chihuahuas and a Ragdoll to get out of the bed when I have a newborn. I’ve just decided it may be easier to let them sleep with us. I wanted something to secure baby, but also keep him within arms reach. We don’t have a lot of width to our bedroom. Moving a pack ‘n play or crib into our room would not work. We tried the bassinet out and it fits perfectly on my side of the bed.

So there you have it:

  1. I’m feeling better
  2. Baby has somewhere to sleep

I call that success!

14 week bumpdate

How Far Along: 14 weeks and 5 days

Meds: All taken daily – Zofran (3 pills daily). Switched to gummy multi-vitamins. Will resume regular pre-natal vitamins once stomach can handle them again. Switch from 2 Ducolax tablets to Restorolax (aka Miralax in the US) to aid with the constipation. Also, taking Gaviscon or Tums as required for heartburn. Will try the baking soda + water remedy tonight. Thanks for the suggestions ladies! Will let you know how it all works.

Baby is the size of: a peach

Best Moment This Week: Not necessarily the best, but certainly the most classic: peeing myself while puking

Total Weight Gain: +6 lbs – have not gained in a week or two.

Maternity Clothes: My biggest challenge has been finding semi-dressy clothes to wear on business trips. My head office is fairly casual, but our other office is dressier. I currently do not fit into any of my dress clothes. Yesterday, I purchased a new maternity dress and skirt from Old Navy. Our selection in Canada is VERY LIMITED compared to the USA.

Symptoms:  NAUSEA! Puking. Heartburn. BOOHOO!

Sleep: Tossing and turning due to heartburn. Still getting up to pee in the night.

Food Cravings: Apples, blueberries, cheesy breadsticks, ice water, cheesecake

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Brushing my teeth, driving, flying, bending over or getting up too fast, the smell of urine in public bathrooms,

Movement: Too early.

Stretch Marks: Nothing new.

Baby Bump: “THE BLUMP” is getting bigger.

Gender Prediction: BOY!

Labour Signs: Too early.

Belly Button In or Out?: Innie to start!

Wedding Rings on or off?: On.

Happy or Moody?: Combo of both. Moody on super pukey days. Happy on good days.

Purchases for baby: A santa hat from Old Navy – on clearance for 97 cents. Bargain shopper! 

Miss Anything?: Enjoying a meal, cuddling with my husband, not feeling constantly bloated, having a good poop, sleeping through the night… basically everything pre-pregnancy. 😀

Looking forward to: Same as last week – whenever this dreaded nausea subsides! Our anatomy/gender scan on May 28. Feeling baby move.

Random update: We haven’t officially gotten our nuchal translucency (NT) scan results back yet. I called my OB office today to get a refill of Zofran. She said my results were in, but since my next appointment isn’t for a few weeks, he would have called if anything of concern came up. Hopefully that means all is well. 🙂

The truth about being sick during pregnancy

I know every infertile who has yet to conceive HATES those who have crossed over to become annoying, complaining pregos.

Well, the truth is: I am one of them.

I am feeling broken down. I worked so hard for years while trying to conceive to eat healthy, get my insides working properly and balance my system.

Now, I feel like a pile of shit.

No one tells you that during pregnancy:

  • Morning sickness really means all day sickness and often lasts beyond 1st trimester
  • You will pee yourself
  • Pulling poop chunks out of your bum is nothing to be ashamed of
  • Food is your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time
  • Heartburn is uncontrollable
  • You will never sleep through the night again

At 14.5 weeks pregnant, my sickness has yet to subside. A full dose of Zofran does curb the all day nausea, but I still puke. Don’t even get me started on how well I do with flying (which unfortunately I seem to be doing a lot of lately due to my job). I stole a puke bag from my flight on Friday night and hurled my guts out on the drive home from the airport… which also lead to peeing myself. My body lost control with the consistent heaving. Needless to say, I’m glad to have leather seats and my husband deserves an award for wiping up my piss.

I am taking 2 stool softeners daily to combat the constipation from Zofran, yet I still find myself struggling to push hard marbles out of my ass. I long for the day when it easily slides out again.

My definition of a meal has completely transformed. I used to enjoy food, but now I have to choke down 1 piece of pizza – my former favourite treat. I eat probably 1/4 of what I used to eat per meal. I try to load up on fresh fruits and cold vegetables as much as possible. Fortunately, I’m still craving fruit.

I have immense heartburn that Tums and Gaviscon barely touches (I plan to ask my OB for another remedy). I toss and turn all night long from a mixture of heartburn and the need to pee. I guess this is preparing me for being up with baby, but I haven’t slept through the night since I found out I am pregnant. My shoulders and lower back ache from trying to sleep on my left side – a pregnancy recommendation, but also a good step to combat the heartburn.

I’ve decided to toss the Snoogle aside for a few nights of cuddling. I miss my husband. Having a huge body pillow in between us does not do much for intimacy.

I’m lucky in the sense that I do have glowing skin, but morning nausea means no drive to “get ready”. Curly hair or a pony-tail, no make-up and sweats is my usual style these days when I’m not travelling for work.

I can’t do as much as I used to. Visiting 3 stores yesterday resulted in a puking episode. My husband insisted we had done enough and I come home to rest.

Most days I just want to curl up in a ball and pray that my symptoms subside. I’ve gone from a slightly crunchy all natural person to someone who medicates because, without it, there is no relief. No matter what, I still have a job to do, a house to maintain, and a life to live.

As much as I know “it will all be worth it”, that statement really did not sink in for me until recently. Another IVF friend, who had her baby 1 month ago and was equally as sick as me, stressed the importance of how she would do it all over again in a second. I just need to keep reminding myself that I will forget all about the pains of pregnancy once my baby is in my arms.

Our road to baby has been far from straight and narrow. So, I’m sending it out to the universe that I desire a quick, natural birth. And I damn well think I deserve it.

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