It’s no secret that we all share the deepest, darkest, most bizarre (in)fertile thoughts with each other, but I typically avoid sharing these details with my fertile friends and family.
Well today, I did it. I fucked up. I let my (in)fertile craziness be seen by the fertile masses.
A good friend of mine experienced 10+ years with no babies and a PCOS diagnosis. Then, her and her husband conceived 2 children naturally after they had given up on having kids. She’s been a true confident for me over the past couple of years. Her own story gives me hope even though they never chose to take the route of fertility treatments. She recently accepted a job in another province. Today, I met the family for lunch to say good-bye as they are moving this weekend.
When I got home from work today, I checked Facebook and noticed they are GIVING AWAY their Bugaboo Cameleon stroller (with 3 different colored covers, the bassinet and a variety of accessories) FOR FREE to whoever can pick it up before they leave this weekend!!!!!!
That is like a $1500 minimum package. *gasp*. I’d take a used Bugaboo over some cheap-ass stroller anyday.
In the heat of the moment, I let my (in)fertile madness get the best of me. I posted that I would take it. Even though we couldn’t use it right away, hopefully we could soon. Smiley face. 🙂
WTF was I thinking? Lindsey, you have officially lost your marbles. You don’t let the fertiles see how crazy you can actually (or potentially?) be! Epic fail. *headsmack*
I took a moment to process what I had just done. It was too late to delete my comment as other people had replied after me (plus I’m a big believer in standing true to your words).
I texted my girlfriend and said that I realized my comment was unrealistic. I wanted her to know that I’d rather the stroller go to someone who can use it right away, as we don’t know how long our fertility journey will take us. Great response.
Meanwhile, she had already responded to my FB comment stating that she would rather contribute to buy me a new one when my time comes. Ugh.
So I responded on FB stating that I agree. The stroller should go to someone who can use it now. It’s too good of a ride to stay parked. Lame-o but smooth recovery – maybe? Ugh again.
I felt like a moron. I felt like I had let a very vulnerable side of me be seen by many people who probably don’t even know what we are going through.
But, I also felt like I was showing them that us (in)fertiles never give up hope.
Damn right. I’d use that Bugaboo even if I’d have to push my chihuahuas around in it until our baby arrives.
In the meantime, I need to remind myself to think before I type… at least on Facebook anyway.