The kitchen chronicles: small steps, big difference

We made some minor kitchen reno progress this weekend.

I used a blow dryer to remove the fugly shelf liner. It was way easier than scraping off centimeter piece after piece. All I had to do was blow a little heat and peel away.

Yesterday, my husband painted and installed two new closet doors. I hope to convert this closet to a pantry… Stay tuned to see how the inside turns out.

”The before”

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”The after”

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”The just because”

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I’m amazed at how much brighter and bigger the kitchen looks already. One of those why didn’t we do this 3.5 years ago moments. 

This weekend,  the plan is to remove the cabinet hardware and start filling holes. Slowly but surely…

Kitchen renos are starting to feel like our fertility journey. All you need is patience and money to get the job done.

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Confessions of an (in)fertile: Part 1

  1. I check the weekly drug store flyers to see if pregnancy tests are on sale.
  2. I want to bitch slap every person who says “you just need to relax”.
  3. I can’t help but wonder why I am on this journey. What did I do to deserve (in)fertility?
  4. Before I schedule a business trip,  I check to see if the dates conflict with ovulation time.
  5. In fact, my ENTIRE monthly schedule revolves around my menstrual cycle.
  6. I’m glad I grew up using non-applicator tampons as I have no problem shoving  progresterone pills up by vajay-jay (the higher the better!)
  7. I think cervical mucus changes are fascinating. And yes, I have taken a photo of my mucus before. Weird, I know. 
  8. When my RE suggested I could lose some weight, I thought screw you bitch, you are bigger than me! Oh but it probably wasn’t an issue because you conceived naturally. I see. 
  9. I will NOT ditch my (future) children at the grandparents every weekend “because I need a break”.
  10. I’ve bought shirts specifically because they have room to hide a prego bump… when I get one. 

Our fertility plan: where we are headed

Over the past two weeks, life has miraculously been falling into place.

We started on the kitchen reno.

My husband worked out some farming issues with his family. He also found out that he does not have to pay rent for a portion of land this year and he is actually getting a refund on his income tax. Whhhhaatt? That is unheard of! $ Cha-ching! $

I’ve been putting myself first. I attended a Chakradance session (maybe I will write a separate post about this?) and have been regularly going to yoga.  I also signed up for an intuitive writing course in April and a Mindscape course in May.

Best of all: we decided on our fertility plan.

We are still taking our pre-planned 2 month break for my husband to recover post-surgery.

So far, sex has been… well… almost non existent? We have officially done the deed twice since his surgery. The first time, he was extra sensitive for a couple days afterwards. The second time, the sensitivity only lasted for a few hours. But, it still freaks me out when he winces while getting dressed. Poor guy. 

Right now, I’m waiting for good ol’ and extra slow AF to start. I expected this cycle to be off since it’s the first one without meds in 3 months. Right now, I’m 2 days late, but have some spotting and signs that she’s coming. And NO I’m not pregnant. This honestly is the first cycle in FOREVER that I can say there is like a 0.0001% chance. We didn’t have sex until CD23 and that would be EXTREMELY late ovulation for me.

Next cycle, we are still on a break. I’m not going to track, but we’re not going to prevent it either.

We will start IUI Cycle #3 at the end of April.

If needed, we will start IUI Cycle #4 at the end of May.

After that, we will take a break all summer (no tracking! whohoo!) until the end of September when harvest is hopefully done. Over the summer, we will decide which clinic to use for IVF and get on the wait list. If required, we will move to IVF early Fall.

It feels good to know that we both agree on where we are headed. I’m still hoping for an IUI miracle. *fingers-crossed* 

I also wanted to say A BIG CONGRATS to all of the BFPs this month. It feels like March was a much nicer month than February. Let’s keep this BFP train a rollin’…

Whoops! My public moment of (in)fertile madness

It’s no secret that we all share the deepest,  darkest, most bizarre (in)fertile thoughts with each other, but I typically avoid sharing these details with my fertile friends and family.

Well today,  I did it. I fucked up. I let my (in)fertile craziness be seen by the fertile masses.

A good friend of mine experienced 10+ years with no babies and a PCOS diagnosis. Then, her and her husband conceived 2 children naturally after they had given up on having kids. She’s been a true confident for me over the past couple of years. Her own story gives me hope even though they never chose to take the route of fertility treatments. She recently accepted a job in another province. Today, I met the family for lunch to say good-bye as they are moving this weekend.

When I got home from work today,  I checked Facebook and noticed they are GIVING AWAY their Bugaboo Cameleon stroller (with 3 different colored covers,  the bassinet and a variety of accessories) FOR FREE to whoever can pick it up before they leave this weekend!!!!!!

That is like a $1500 minimum package. *gasp*.  I’d take a used Bugaboo over some cheap-ass stroller anyday.

In the heat of the moment,  I let my (in)fertile madness get the best of me. I posted that I would take it. Even though we couldn’t use it right away, hopefully we could soon. Smiley face. 🙂

WTF was I thinking?  Lindsey,  you have officially lost your marbles. You don’t let the fertiles see how crazy you can actually (or potentially?) be!  Epic fail. *headsmack*

I took a moment to process what I had just done. It was too late to delete my comment as other people had replied after me (plus I’m a big believer in standing true to your words). 

I texted my girlfriend and said that I realized my comment was unrealistic. I wanted her to know that I’d rather the stroller go to someone who can use it right away,  as we don’t know how long our fertility journey will take us. Great response.

Meanwhile,  she had already responded to my FB comment stating that she would rather contribute to buy me a new one when my time comes. Ugh.

So I responded on FB stating that I agree. The stroller should go to someone who can use it now. It’s too good of a ride to stay parked. Lame-o but smooth recovery –  maybe?  Ugh again.

I felt like a moron. I felt like I had let a very vulnerable side of me be seen by many people who probably don’t even know what we are going through.

But, I also felt like I was showing them that us (in)fertiles never give up hope.

Damn right. I’d use that Bugaboo even if I’d have to push my chihuahuas around in it until our baby arrives.

In the meantime,  I need to remind myself to think before I type… at least on Facebook anyway.

The kitchen chronicles: a DIY dream (or nightmare?)

I love to DIY. Well honestly, I DIY because I don’t have to money to H-I-R-E.

I would LOVE a complete kitchen reno – new floor, new cupboards, new layout, maybe even take a wall out to open up the main floor… but, we definitely don’t have the $$ for that. It’s the DIY route for now.

This year’s to-do list includes:

  1. Painting the kitchen walls DONE
  2. Replacing the kitchen trim HALF DONE
  3. Painting the kitchen cupboards white and replacing all hardware
  4. Converting the kitchen closet into a pantry
  5. Painting the main floor living room, entrance hallway, upstairs hallway and downstairs hallway (all the same colour – easy, peasy right?) :S
  6. Replacing the main floor living room trim

My goal was to tackle the kitchen this Spring and finish it off before May (meaning: before seeding as I won’t have my husband to help then). Although my husband’s surgery set back our timeline a bit, it’s also given us a much needed trying to conceive break that coincides nicely with my kitchen reno timeline.

Am I biting off more than I can chew? Perhaps. I still hope to accomplish as much as possible before May.

I spent the past week patching drywall, ripping off old trim and preparing the kitchen to be painted.

Yesterday, we tackled the kitchen walls and the window frames. I am VERY HAPPY with our colour choice. The (not my style) oak cabinets actually look much better with the new colour: Rockport Grey by Benjamin Moore.

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Here’s a before & after photo. Buh-bye pinky beige! Side note: Part of the kitchen project also include sprucing up that white hutch. Maybe a paint job? Or maybe just some really cool knobs?
 

Before & After kitchen painting

We are going to tackle the cupboards on Easter weekend. Until then, I’ll continue removing the lovely shelf liner. I personally like the retro flowers better than the vines. What do you think?

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Today I unfriended someone on Facebook

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. 

Things I love about Facebook: 

  • Seeing my friends and families updates – especially since my loved ones are spread out across Canada and the US.
  • The motivational messages that people post.
  • Information about upcoming events
  • Finding out about new stores or services that relate to my interests (yes, I’m one of those wierdos who loves targeted marketing

Things I hate about Facebook: 

  • The never-ending pregnancy announcements
  • Ultrasounds as profile pics
  • Countdowns til baby arrives
  • People who post photos of their kids just for the sake of posting photos of their kids. Typically in these photos, the kids aren’t engaging in any sort of cute activity and the photo is blurry and/or lacks any sort of photography skill 

I have decided that the pros outweigh the cons. I’m not willing to delete my Facebook account, but I really do think someone needs to build an app to allow you to omit certain images/posts from your feedback based on keyword. I work in software development. Why haven’t I gotten a friend to code this up for me? 

Today, for the first time, I delete a Facebook friend due to a prego announcement.

Well, alright, she wasn’t EXACTLY a friend. She was a woman who used to work as a waitress near my husband’s home town. I’ve ran into her a few times. I know her in-laws, especially her mother-in-law as we used to sit on a Board together. Anyway… 

Her announcement said something along the lines of: Well so much for that… I’m pregnant. 

This woman has 3 kids between two baby-daddies, and her youngest are both under the age of 3. Obviously this post peaked my interest. You’ve got to be kidding me! SHE’S PREGNANT AGAIN? 

Well it turned out, IT WAS A JOKE! For real? Who the fuck jokes about being pregnant on Facebook?

I guess it was one of those games where if you comment on your friend’s status, they give you something false and provocative to put as yours. Lame. 

Anyway, I didn’t even think twice. I unfriended her immediately. 

Crazy, insensitive fertiles. *headshake*