And some things stay the same…

I still frequently go to acupuncture. My acupuncturist is an amazing woman who has helped me on so many levels beyond just fertility. 

Today at my appointment, I told her that I’ve just been exhausted lately. I attributed it to staying up past midnight for a week straight, being the Mom of a one year old, running my own business, the change in seasons and you know, the full moon. 

She asked if there was a possibility I could be pregnant. 

I told her there was a chance –  isn’t there always when you aren’t using birth control? – but it was like a 0.01% chance.

 My gut said not pregnant. 

Well… 

Curiosity always gets the best of me. 

I dug around in the bathroom cupboard and found an ultra sensitive pregnancy test. You know one of ones from my ectopic days that literally detect anything. It was even expired. 

I peed on it anyway. 

Do you get where this is going? 

I ain’t no magical unicorn. I’m just a regular (in)fertile woman who can’t resist the urge to POAS. 

I still don’t have my period one year postpartum due to breastfeeding. I clearly need to get to bed earlier and listen to my gut. 

Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. 

Hi single red line! I didn’t miss you, you little bitch. 

How we have handled teething

As I mentioned in our 9 month update, Wyatt currently has 6 teeth. I ordered how they came in on the chart below. The 7th is not far behind and has almost broken through. It’s the one indicated by the orange star.

When he’s teething, Wyatt shows some obvious signs – crankiness, pulling at ears, biting, chewing, clinginess – but overall, he’s been a very good teether. We’ve dealt with the bad days by giving him Camilia “teething juice” as I call it, or Hyland teething tablets. Many friends told me that the tablets work better than the drops, but I find the drops way easier as there’s no mixing involved when we are out and about. We’ve only used Infant Tylenol a few times at night.  Teethers – especially the chewellery ones – have also worked wonders for us.

After taking Wyatt for acupuncture last week, I’m 100% convinced that it’s a viable option for teething relief. We saw an Acupuncturist who specializes in Pediatrics. When kids get acupuncture, the needles don’t stay put. It’s simply a prick and done. Wyatt didn’t cry and the difference in his demeanor was almost immediate.

4 out of 6 chompers on my smiley baby.

We’ve had such a good breastfeeding experience until the teething phase. A few weeks ago, Wyatt bit me so hard that my nipple was dripping blood. For the first time, I could relate to women who have had sore, bleeding nipples earlier in their breastfeeding journeys. A grin and bear it attitude helped me get through it until it healed up.

I still love breastfeeding, but I cringe each time he latches when I know he’s about to get another tooth. It’s a hard situation to deal with. I feel like he bites because the counter pressure gives him some relief. In that case, I don’t want to get angry at him.

Other times, I feel like he’s biting simply to be naughty (i.e. when he’s goofing around instead of going to sleep). I’ve used a stern “NO WYATT!”, but he  always bites down harder. I slowly unlatch him and he always just laughs at me. When this happens, I put the boob away until he’s calmed down or shown signs that he’s ready to try again in a gentler manner. My feelings are hurt on top of my sore nipples. It’s been the weirdest emotion of motherhood to date. You know your child doesn’t understand that they are hurting you, but they are. You question why. You wonder what motivates them. You don’t want to upset them, but you don’t know how to enforce the boundary.

Do you have any advice for the biting? How do you stop them from chomping your precious nips? I’d love to hear what worked for you.

Our intro to babyled weaning

I was apprehensive about the concept of babyled weaning until I read the book, “Babyled Weaning: helping your baby to love good food“.

We started Wyatt on solids when he was 6 months, 4 days old. Before then, he was exclusively breastfed. He took to feeding himself like a champ! I’ve been so surprised at how well it’s gone… minus the mess.

What he’s eaten so far:

• Avocado
• Pear
• Asian Pear
• Banana
• Strawberries
• Raspberries
• Blueberries
• Watermelon
• Cucumber
• Broccoli
• Green beans
• Squash
• Sweet potato
• Scrambled eggs
• Homemade turkey meatballs
• Homemade hamburger
• Ribs
• Chicken
• Yogurt
• Cheese
• Waffles
• MumMum rice crackers
• Mushies

He HAS to feed himself. It’s non-negotiable.  With the yogurt, I put it on the spoon and hand it to him to feed himself. I tried to give him a non-rice cereal one morning and he hated it! He spit every bite out.

Right now, we’re just doing 2 meals and maybe a small snack. He’s still nursing a decent amount, so I’m confident he’s getting all he needs.

Did you try babyled weaning? Any recipes or foods you would recommend? 

 

 

The tale of two boobs

At almost 5 months, I am still going strong with exclusively breastfeeding Wyatt. He only gets a bottle if I’m not home which isn’t very often. So far, his Daddy is also the only one to bottle feed him. I’ve got ball season coming up, so I’ve been wanting to get him more used to the bottle.

Last week when I went to our local infertility support group meeting, Wyatt drank 4 oz which is the most he’s ever taken from a bottle.

Tonight, I had a massage followed by a meeting with my softball team. I was planning on being gone for 3.5 hours. To avoid a hangry milk monster, I planned to leave at least 4oz of fresh milk, knowing that there would be extra in the freezer.

Yesterday afternoon, I tried to pump my right boob and only got 2oz.

Say whattttt???

I freaked.

Is my supply was lowering?

Wyatt has been super distracted lately.

Am I dehydrated?

My ta-tas did seem slightly deflated.

This can’t be happening!

I chugged a ton of water.

I baked a batch of lactation cookies.

This afternoon, I tried to pump the right boob again… 

And only another 2oz!!!!?!?! 

I drank way more water.

I ate a few more cookies.

I even had a beer while I was out.

When I got home tonight, I pumped the LEFT boob and got a solid 5oz!!!!!

Conclusion: my right boob is a dud.

I don’t know why it took me 5 months to realize my left boob magically pumps way more milk. It makes sense when I look back and reflect on the time Wyatt was struggling with the down flow on that side.

I only pump when I need to and I rarely pump both breasts at once. I guess I didn’t realize that I tend to always pump the left.

Lesson learned.

I’m glad to say: this Momma’s milk is still in full production. 🙂

Wyatt drank 6oz of pumped milk tonight and even held his own bottle. His progress is amazing, yet bittersweet.

I’m just grateful we can continue on.

The one thing that has gone right

I recently realized that breastfeeding is the only part of having a child that I have easily mastered.

Trying to conceive naturally = epic disaster requiring serious medical intervention (IVF + ISCI)

Birth experience = 100% deviation from my desired plan  (Induction, Epidural, Episiotomy, Forecep Delivery)

Breastfeeding = NAILED IT! Whohoo!

I attribute my success to:

1. My milk monster who came out of the womb already pursing his lips ready to suckle
2. The lactation cookies my friend brought me which helped my supply and also provided a major source of nutrition during those first weeks with my newborn
3. A balanced hormonal system due to supplements and acupuncture
4. Pure luck 🙂

I always hoped to breastfeed, but I was open to whatever had to happen. Breastfeeding came naturally. It wasn’t forced. It didn’t bring me any stress or cause for concern. Maybe that’s why it worked out? I had a clear picture of how I hoped it would go, but I didn’t put any pressure on myself in case I couldn’t achieve that goal. Hmm… this is a very intriguing mind-body connection.

Either way, I am very grateful to have been able to exclusively breastfeed my son. I love our breastfeeding sessions (even now when he’s in the highly distracted phase). ❤

What part of your journey has surprisingly come easy to you? 

 

 

 

 

 

Why does my parenting approach matter to you?

I sent a news article about how you won’t spoil your baby by picking them up to my Dad and he responded with,”You will pay for it later…” 

How?

How will I pay later for loving and tending to my child’s needs now?

I told my Dad I actually think my husband and I will pay less as our son (hopefully) won’t be in counselling dealing with all of the childhood issues that my husband and I both struggle with. HA HA HA HA 🙂

My Mom encouraged my SIL to move my nephew to his crib at 3 months.

My husband’s Uncle constantly tells us to let Wyatt “cry it out”.

His Aunt thinks that co-sleeping is dangerous, that my breast milk isn’t enough to sustain my son, and that we should already be feeding him mashed potatoes.

Why does everyone have an opinion? Why is our parenting style so difficult for our families to understand and accept?

I’m not hardcore with schedules, but I am fairly crunchy.

I breastfeed on demand.

Wyatt is 100% in cloth diapers.

I baby wear when it works for us, particularly for afternoon naps. We often use the stroller for outings though.

Wyatt gets a ton of cuddles and snuggles, but he also gets equal play time on his floor mat and in the exersaucer.

For me, parenting is about balance. It’s about listening to my child and trusting that my husband and I know what’s best for him.

Some days  I have no trouble ignoring the unsolicited advice, but other days I can help but want to scream at them, “WHO ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION ANYWAY?”

Deep breath. 

 

 

 

From Corporate life to motherhood

I just logged into my work account to catch up on Corporate news. I wanted to see if anyone else has come or gone since Christmas. There wasn’t anything too exiting in my inbox, but I know I’m not being cc’d on much activity related to regular operations or projects.

Right now, I’m going to take a few minutes to myself online while Wyatt naps in his carrier. It’s funny how much life changes once you have a little one.

My highlight of the day was finding a nursing room at one of our local malls. It’s an older, dingy mall. I don’t go there often at all, but I wanted to find a Valentine’s day gift for my husband. As we were shopping, Wyatt pooped. It’s a given that anytime you venture to a major shopping centre your kid will decide it’s time to shit himself. I changed him in a family washroom, but discovered a door labelled “Nursing”. I opened it and sure enough there was a sink, a counter and two rocking chairs. We went in, sat down and Wyatt had his lunch. It wasn’t the nicest room, but it was clean. I don’t have an issues feeding in public anymore.  In fact, I’ll whip it out just about anywhere now, but concept of the nursing room was nice – a small, quaint space for you to connect with your baby away from the busyness of the mall. I’ve decided to check and see if our other malls have anything similar.

The second highlight of my day was receiving FLUFF mail! I have totally become one of those Moms who gets a kick out of purchasing diapers, baby-wearing supplies or kids clothes online.  My most recent purchases arrived today which included a rainbow cloth diaper and an “Eat Local” onesie purchased on Zulily.

My husband heckles me about budget. I’ve been doing my own selling on our local classifieds to fund my online purchases. We just sold our swing as it was just sitting unused in my office and we are using our borrowed Mamaroo more. I hope to update you all on what baby items actually worked for us soon!

The third highlight of my day was buying new laundry detergent to wash our cloth diapers. We didn’t need a new brand or anything. We just ran out and our local store is also out of that brand, so we are trying a different one. I used to hate laundry, but I don’t mind it anymore. This may sound crazy, but it gives me a purpose – something to accomplish besides feeding and changing a baby all day long.

I love my time with my son, but there’s no doubt that it has been a transition to go from a super busy working woman to a Mom who’s on maternity leave. Honestly though, I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. ❤

 

Taking some time for me

After my meltdown last weekend, I actually had a good week. I decided to just go with the flow and not have any big expectations of myself. I focused on smaller tasks rather than taking on anything huge (meaning: laundry was an accomplishment). Wyatt and I even managed to sneak in a few walks in our neighbourhood since we had some way above seasonally average days (+3 degrees Celsius ).

Things are better with Mike. I keep focusing on how communication is key even more so now that we have a child. I have to laugh at today though. Mike was solo parenting for 3 hours this morning and 1 hour this afternoon. When I returned home between outings, he told me, “You better be nice to me. I changed like 35+ diapers and played with him constantly between naps. He did sleep for most of the time you were gone though“.

Right… You mean you did exactly what I do every day of the week… except you probably had it easier because it sounds like Wyat napped like a champ today. 🙂

I am enjoying my moments of Mommy freedom. Since the first night I left him with Mike and a bottle, I’ve escaped a few more times to get my hair cut/coloured, attend a fertility yoga class, participate in a Chakradance session, get a massage, and go to our local infertility support group meet up. Even if it’s just an hour or two every couple of days, its allowing me to feel more grounded and return to myself.

I don’t regret waiting til 3 months to offer a bottle. We still have a strong breastfeeding connection, but I do appreciate the fact that he will take it if I’m gone. I also learned that I am a supreme pumper. Each time I’ve pumped, I’ve been able to get between 5-7oz. I split it into 1-2oz bottles/bags. Wyatt won’t take much from a bottle right now. The most he’s drank in one sitting is 2 oz. We’ve had to toss some milk due to this, so I’m really trying to freeze as much as I can and only leave 1-2 oz fresh in the fridge. Mike can thaw more if he needs it.

What breast milk freezer bags do you prefer? I’ve been using the Medela ones, but I’m almost out. I’m open to trying a different brand if anyone has a recommendation.

I’m only comfortable with Mike or myself feeding Wyatt right now. I really want Mike to be able to develop that bottle bond with him before we introduce anyone else to the mix. I have left Wyatt with a close friend and my mother-in-law for about 1-2 hours at a time. My mother-in-law seems more comfortable with him as he gets bigger. I’m still processing some of my own emotions about my relationship with her. Small doses are better for me for now.

Overall, I’m glad I decided to try the bottle as I do think it was time for some “me” time. I always stress the importance of self care during fertility treatments, but I think it’s just as important once you become a Mommy. Healthy, happy Mommy = healthy, happy baby 🙂

It seems every time I get caught up reading the blogs, you all go crazy and write like 1 post a day for 3 days straight. I am looking forward to catching up during Wyatt’s nap time over the next few days.

Who’s so big?

Tomorrow Wyatt turns 3 months old… Well actually today as it’s past midnight. As usual, I’m writing this in the dark on my cell phone while my boys sleep beside me.

We’ve made huge strides these past few weeks. I feel like I know my son better and better each day. Then, he surprises me with a new milestone and I’m shocked at how fast he learns and changes each day.

We started Mommy and Baby yoga two weeks ago. Our first afternoon class coincided with nap time. Although it wasn’t an epic fail, it did mean a few minor meltdowns. This week we switched to the morning class and Wyatt was happy the entire time. I successfully managed to do a few poses and stretches with him glued to my boob. It’s funny what you consider a major success as a Mother.

In this week’s yoga class, we practised pulling the babies up to a sitting position and proclaiming, ”Who’s so big!?!?”. Well, my little man must enjoy the encouragement because that evening upon receiving my hands he pulled himself up. He’s consistently done it each time I offer my hands to him since then. Yeah, he’s so big now.

Today,  we ventured out to a local babywearing group meet up. I am very happy that my friend encouraged me to attend. It’s really nice to meet other Moms. We visited our local museum which I had never been to. I carried Wyatt in my brand new Girasol ring sling – a rainbow sling for a rainbow baby. I just received it this week. So far, it works well. The museum visit was our longest stretch in the ring sling and even he fell asleep in it.

This week,  we also used the Ergo for a winter walk. I didn’t think my stroller would make it after a snowfall with unshovelled sidewalks. Wyatt was so calm, yet curious of everything to see in the neighbourhood. I enjoyed some time outside since the weather was closer to 0 degrees and sunny. I never saw myself as a babywearing Momma, but so far, I’m loving it. The closeness is what makes it so special.

We reached another major milestone tonight. I left Wyatt for 4 hours at home with his Dad to attend my monthly Splurge group. To date,  he’s always attended with me. Mike successfully gave him 2 pumped bottles with a bit of resistance. He takes it, but with a bit of a fight to get him started. What are your thoughts? Should we continue with the Calma nipple until he gets used to it? Or try another kind?

I did better than I thought I would with leaving him. I texted Mike a few times to check in, but I wasn’t really worried. This actually surprised me, but I guess it shows that I trust my husband as a capable father.

I arrived home to find both of them asleep. I pumped my right boob to make up for the bottle feed and managed to get 4oz in about 10 mins. I hate pumping, but I usually can pump a decent amount. I still hope to primarily breastfeed, but it’s nice to know that pumping for the occasional night out is an option.

Once Wyatt realized I was home, he had a cry and a big feed, then easily went back to sleep.

My favourite moments over the past few weeks have simply been interacting with him. He truly is such a happy baby. He loves to babble on and on. He constantly smiles back at you. He even started baby talking when I’m singing to him –  makes me think he wants to sing too! 🙂 Breastfeeding has given us a strong bond. I often find myself putting my phone down or turning the tv off just  to be in the moment with him –  our eyes locked and holding hands. There’s so much peace and joy to be found in those moments.

Baby’s got a bottle

I’m WAY behind on my blog reading. My adorable son is teaching his Momma a lesson in mindfulness. His new fav gig is to hold hands while he’s feeding or napping on me. Translation: significant decrease in time spent on phone, yet significant increase in time spent watching Netflix.

I’m embracing these moments though as I know they won’t last forever especially since…

We attempted our first bottle.

Earlier this week, I don’t know what my kid’s deal was, but he was against eating from my left boob. After a few failed attempts, I decide to pump it off and get Daddy to try to bottle feed him.

Although this first attempt looks successful, in reality Wyatt only drained about 0.25 oz of which half was probably on his face. We tried again the next night using the Medela Calma nipple and he ate 1oz before falling asleep.

I’m not ready to start a pumping and bottle feeding schedule, but it was a relief to know our attempts weren’t a complete failure.

Wyatt’s boycott of the left boob was short lived. I’m still not sure if it was a teething issue or if he had a slight cold and his nose was more stuffy on that side. Either way, it’s nice to have my milk monster back.