Why does my parenting approach matter to you?

I sent a news article about how you won’t spoil your baby by picking them up to my Dad and he responded with,”You will pay for it later…” 

How?

How will I pay later for loving and tending to my child’s needs now?

I told my Dad I actually think my husband and I will pay less as our son (hopefully) won’t be in counselling dealing with all of the childhood issues that my husband and I both struggle with. HA HA HA HA 🙂

My Mom encouraged my SIL to move my nephew to his crib at 3 months.

My husband’s Uncle constantly tells us to let Wyatt “cry it out”.

His Aunt thinks that co-sleeping is dangerous, that my breast milk isn’t enough to sustain my son, and that we should already be feeding him mashed potatoes.

Why does everyone have an opinion? Why is our parenting style so difficult for our families to understand and accept?

I’m not hardcore with schedules, but I am fairly crunchy.

I breastfeed on demand.

Wyatt is 100% in cloth diapers.

I baby wear when it works for us, particularly for afternoon naps. We often use the stroller for outings though.

Wyatt gets a ton of cuddles and snuggles, but he also gets equal play time on his floor mat and in the exersaucer.

For me, parenting is about balance. It’s about listening to my child and trusting that my husband and I know what’s best for him.

Some days  I have no trouble ignoring the unsolicited advice, but other days I can help but want to scream at them, “WHO ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION ANYWAY?”

Deep breath. 

 

 

 

Taking some time for me

After my meltdown last weekend, I actually had a good week. I decided to just go with the flow and not have any big expectations of myself. I focused on smaller tasks rather than taking on anything huge (meaning: laundry was an accomplishment). Wyatt and I even managed to sneak in a few walks in our neighbourhood since we had some way above seasonally average days (+3 degrees Celsius ).

Things are better with Mike. I keep focusing on how communication is key even more so now that we have a child. I have to laugh at today though. Mike was solo parenting for 3 hours this morning and 1 hour this afternoon. When I returned home between outings, he told me, “You better be nice to me. I changed like 35+ diapers and played with him constantly between naps. He did sleep for most of the time you were gone though“.

Right… You mean you did exactly what I do every day of the week… except you probably had it easier because it sounds like Wyat napped like a champ today. 🙂

I am enjoying my moments of Mommy freedom. Since the first night I left him with Mike and a bottle, I’ve escaped a few more times to get my hair cut/coloured, attend a fertility yoga class, participate in a Chakradance session, get a massage, and go to our local infertility support group meet up. Even if it’s just an hour or two every couple of days, its allowing me to feel more grounded and return to myself.

I don’t regret waiting til 3 months to offer a bottle. We still have a strong breastfeeding connection, but I do appreciate the fact that he will take it if I’m gone. I also learned that I am a supreme pumper. Each time I’ve pumped, I’ve been able to get between 5-7oz. I split it into 1-2oz bottles/bags. Wyatt won’t take much from a bottle right now. The most he’s drank in one sitting is 2 oz. We’ve had to toss some milk due to this, so I’m really trying to freeze as much as I can and only leave 1-2 oz fresh in the fridge. Mike can thaw more if he needs it.

What breast milk freezer bags do you prefer? I’ve been using the Medela ones, but I’m almost out. I’m open to trying a different brand if anyone has a recommendation.

I’m only comfortable with Mike or myself feeding Wyatt right now. I really want Mike to be able to develop that bottle bond with him before we introduce anyone else to the mix. I have left Wyatt with a close friend and my mother-in-law for about 1-2 hours at a time. My mother-in-law seems more comfortable with him as he gets bigger. I’m still processing some of my own emotions about my relationship with her. Small doses are better for me for now.

Overall, I’m glad I decided to try the bottle as I do think it was time for some “me” time. I always stress the importance of self care during fertility treatments, but I think it’s just as important once you become a Mommy. Healthy, happy Mommy = healthy, happy baby 🙂

It seems every time I get caught up reading the blogs, you all go crazy and write like 1 post a day for 3 days straight. I am looking forward to catching up during Wyatt’s nap time over the next few days.

Unsolicited parenting advice

Wowzers. It turns out that people offering parenting advice is JUST AS ANNOYING as the advice we received when trying to conceive.

I’ve received the following comments:

• Just let him cry it out! He needs to develop his lungs. My baby is 7 weeks old. He has a set of needs that we fulfil – comfort being one of them. There is no reason for him to cry it out.
• He should be sleeping in his crib. We’ve decided to co-sleep. I am breastfeeding and this is the easiest for us. We will move him to the crib when we feel the time is right.
• You shouldn’t let him pacify at the breast. I’m just going to assume that pacifers were created by a man… and yes, Wikipedia proves me right... in the early 1900s to mimic the nipple as a way for infants to self-soothe. You really don’t think the original and most natural pacifier is bad for my son? Besides, he’s only been on the boob 5 mins longer than his feed… he ain’t crying. What’s your issue?
• Cloth diapers are not better for the environment. I’m not going to get into the environmental or economical arguments surrounding cloth vs. disposables. I’m just going to say: cloth diapering works better for us and our little man prefers it. If you aren’t doing my laundry, you don’t get an opinion in my household.
• Just give him a soother. He’s not really hungry. He just ate. Oh really? You know what my baby’s hunger queues are from spending 1 hour with him? I on-demand feed. Baby eats when he wants to eat, not on a set schedule or when it’s convenient for you… because you want to hold him right now.
• You don’t want people to see your breasts! *gasp* *shocked expression*!!!!! Since having my son, I have a new found appreciation for my breasts as a non-sexual source of nourishment and comfort. Wyatt hates the hooter hider. I don’t ask you to eat your supper under a blanket, why should he?

I try my hardest to ignore endless rants that don’t align with our choices. It’s also much easier to give basic responses (or change the subject) rather than constantly having to defend our choices. Although I think life would be much more amusing if I gave the answers above! 🙂

Today, I also stumbled upon a post, Not Amused by Mama at Heart, that contains friendly holiday reminders for families dealing with newborns this season. I suggest you check it out as I second everything she said!