If you are a Grey’s Anatomy fan, you already know that Jackson and April are expecting their first baby.
SPOILER ALERT: Last episode and continuing into tonight’s, they face the news that their baby may be born with a rare and potentially life threatening condition. April refuses to deal with it, then finally opens up to Jackson. I cried as this scene unveiled itself. Seriously heart wrenching!
April’s biggest question is: why would God do such a thing?
Immediately, I thought of my infertility and pregnancy loss sisters.
It’s not easy to find solace.
How often has the question “why” crossed our minds?
How often have we begged for answers?
Wanted desperately for things to turn around?
Pleaded for hope?… but even hope itself can be a destructive force (which was another topic covered in this episode of Grey’s).
As much as I like to rely on my intuition, I can’t 100% predict what the outcome of this FET cycle will be for us. No matter which way things go, “why” actually gives me comfort.
I know somewhere down the road, “why” will unveil itself. It may not be tomorrow; it may not be this decade. But one day, I will understand why we faced infertility, why we lost our baby girl and what positive lessons came from all of it.
Not everyone will agree with me, but I do believe there is a reason for this chaos and heartache.
Strength. Compassion. Community.
Whatever it may be.
There is a why.
Have you figured out your why yet? Or even just a part of it?