Beta #7: I feel like I am moving in slow motion

Today’s beta is 658.

It rose just over 100 points from 48 hours ago. NOT GOOD! Definitely NOT doubling! 

I emailed my clinic yesterday and told them I would not be willing to take a shot of Methotrexate or stop my meds until I have ultrasound confirmation of what is going on in there.

My heart just can’t take the uncertainty. I need the visual before I can make a decision.

They have scheduled me for an ultrasound next Wednesday, October 8th.

I know the probability of a positive outcome is slim to none, but I am looking forward to moving forward and getting some answers.

Advertisements

62 thoughts on “Beta #7: I feel like I am moving in slow motion

  1. I know exactly what you’re going through and I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry you have to wait a whole week to get answers. I’m sorry you have to go through this at all.

    Like

  2. I 100% support this decision – I think it is the absolute best course of action, even if it means you are forced to wait longer. I will never forget “terminating” our third pregnancy before it was finalized, I know we did it for the right reason, but I also know it almost killed me and I would never wish that experience upon anyone. Wait until you are satisfied with the answers, and then, and only then, do what feels right to you.
    Sending you love and wishing you strength as you wait for your ultrasound next week.

    Like

      • I have no problem with you asking.
        First, let me say that we were in a much different situation then you are, so please don’t panic. That miscarriage became very high risk to my life which is why we chose to terminate. We knew our baby was dying, it was just a matter of time. And the time required for the baby to die naturally, would place my life at risk. You can read about it here – http://wp.me/p4qQfg-8X.
        The only reason I referenced it, is to say, don’t give up until you have to and until you know you will have no regrets. I know in my heart we made the right decision and we would make it again given the extreme circumstances. But honestly I knew when we decided and I still know that I will always wonder what could have been. And, I just wouldn’t want you to have a similar nagging thought, if you don’t have to.
        Wishing you the best!

        Like

  3. I’m honestly concerned that if they keep drawing blood every two days eventually you’re going to end up like a prune! Seriously though I’m glad you’re getting an US next week and I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you in the meantime ((squeeze))

    Like

  4. I am so sorry that you are going through this. My RE and I have had a similar conversation and he was very clear that you could still have a tubal rupture at under 1,000 hcg and not be bald to see anything on ultrasound. I doubt this you wanted to hear that but I thought you should know. Double check with your RE.

    Like

  5. I’m glad you stood up for what you felt was right – an ultrasound. I think of you every day and I hope you get some answers soon. Much love to you!

    Like

  6. It is hard to move on when you are still waiting for answers. I am holding out for a miracle for you but if it does not work, I will be glad when you finally get the chance to move on and process things.

    Like

  7. I would make the same decision as you if I were in your shoes. I’m sorry that you have to wait so long to get answers. I wish I had something to say that sold ease the stress and pain. This is completely unfair and I’m so sad that you’re going through this.

    Like

  8. I’m so sorry you’re going through this beta hell hon. I’m so glad you have an ultrasound scheduled and will get more definitive answers. Praying for you hon. Hugs.

    Like

  9. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner, but this post triggered a memory of a friend’s rocky start to her first pregnancy. She went through a lot of what you are going through now. Many doctor trips, I think she even had betas done (that isn’t common in Finland unless there are issues) and the doctor wrote her a prescription for the pill to end a pregnancy. My friend just couldn’t do it yet as she felt there was something more she needed. Anyway, after lots of physical agony (she had ovulated so hard that it bruised her innards), mental agony and whatever else, they found a sac, with a baby and a heart beat in it. That girl is now 5 years old and spitfire. 🙂 Don’t give up hope until everything has been done and you are at peace with the final answer. And then, it isn’t giving up hope, it is seeing reality and knowing what the next step is.

    I have hope for you!

    Like

  10. I am so sorry to read this. I think you are making the right decision by not stopping meds or getting the shot until you know. My close friend was diagnosed with an ectopic last weekend, after being in limbo for a couple of weeks. They did a d & c to see if there was a pregnancy in the uterus and there wasn’t, so then they gave her the shot. My friend is not a fertility patient and didn’t think to question anything. But I am pissed that she basically got an un-needed D & C, which can cause scar tissue, etc.. That’s a lot of ramble to say that thank god you know enough to question the doctors and stand up for what you feel is right. That quality will make you an amazing mama someday soon! Sending peace and comfort your way.

    Like

    • I totally get it. My friend was telling her miscarriage story last weekend. She said they couldn’t find a heartbeat on the first ultrasound. Told her she would lose the baby. Two weeks later she hadn’t so they scheduled a D&C. I asked her if they repeated the ultrasound before the procedure and she said no. I tried my best to not let the shock I was feeling on the inside come out in my facial expression. I am just so paranoid from this whole infertility journey from unexplained to misdiagnosed to anything else that can happen. I don’t believe every person fits a textbook formula or else we all wouldn’t have such different infertility diagnoses. We need to educate ourselves and be our own advocates.

      Like

  11. I too refused the shot. It was only once it was visualized and confirmed that it was my tube then did I agree to any intervention. But at that point I had waited a little too long and it required surgery. I am SOO praying that this is not that case for you. I don’t blame you for waiting it out, listen to your body, and just keep praying praying praying. The Lord won’t leave you hanging doll. NEVER.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s