Beta #6: the never-ending saga

This weekend was a mix of ups and downs. I had 2 major cry sessions each day, but I was grateful that my one friend and my husband’s Aunt and Uncle popped by to keep me distracted.

My Aunt also brought a butterfly cross-stitch pattern for me to do. She thought I could use something to keep my hands busy and keep me off the internet (clearly she knows me too well).

I called in sick today after I got this morning’s blood work done. I was exhausted, but I think it was more emotional exhaustion than anything else.

I slept from 10 am – 2 pm.

I woke up and made chilli for my supper even though my husband won’t be home from the field until after 9pm tonight.

I watched a movie and chatted with a fertility friend who is always so good to keep me distracted on testing days. 🙂

Today’s results are 555.

The doubling time is 92.2.

I got the “sweet” nurse today. Poor thing. I totally broke down on her when she told me the results. The clinic is still thinking ectopic. She said to stay on my meds and go again for blood work on Wednesday. They hope to be able to tell me more then.

Ugh! Why am I stuck in this beta hell? Because it’s truly hell once you’re on your 7th blood draw and have no clue which way you are headed.

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to stay on my meds.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me in some way or another during this difficult time.

I appreciate your support more than words can ever explain. XOXO

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51 thoughts on “Beta #6: the never-ending saga

  1. I’m so sorry you still have no answers. How stressful to just keep going day to day not knowing what’s going on within your body. Hope they can give you some real answers Wednesday. *hugs*

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  2. I don’t know much about beta’s although I am sure I will soon enough, but ever since you did you transfer I have hoped and prayed that the little bean would stick. Call it a gut feeling but I still am hopefull for you! xox

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  3. I am so, so, so, so very sorry!!! I’m glad you stayed on your meds. and tested again. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you as you continue on this journey! If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask! ❤ HUGS!!!!

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  4. Oh, I am sorry. What the efffffff. Ugh. This really, really sucks. I’ve been thinking about you a lot these last few days and hoping you’re ok. I’m still holding out hope that this will all turn around.

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  5. I am so sorry you still do not have answers Lindsey! I know nothing will take away your anxiety; nothing will make the waiting easier; nothing will make the fear subside; and nothing will make it hurt any less. That said, the one thing I hope you can take some comfort in is knowing that you are surrounding by love, and no-matter what happens, you have so many people (myself included) that love you and will be here for you through everything.

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  6. Lindsey I’m so sorry you’re still in beta hell. What a pain in the ass. From what I’ve been told/read you still may not see anything on an ultrasound until your beta reaches 2,000. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Happy to hear you took the day off, sounds like you needed it.

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  7. Holy ned, you really are on an awful ride right now! I’m so glad you stayed on the meds AND you got the nice nurse. She’s just so nice and soft, her delivery is much better 😉 this is really shitty that you’re still in beta hell and I hope Wednesday will bring new light and you’ll be released from it’s confines. Thinking of you lots.

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  8. Oh I’m so glad you got the nice nurse, but what an awful day. Here just aren’t word, girl. I am so sorry things are so bumpy for you guys right now. Still praying for your little girl and hoping that she’s just a slow starter and not ectopic. *hugs

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  9. I’m so sorry you’re still in beta hell hon. Praying your beta is high enough on Wednesday that they can do an ultrasound and give you some real answers. I have to admit, I’m also relieved you continued to take your meds because I’m still hoping your little one is just fine and playing a beta trick on you. Hugs hon. Thinking about you…

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  10. I’m so, so heartbroken to hear you’re going through this. I had been wondering how you were (I messed up my reader settings somehow) and was sad to read what had transpired with your betas. You are in my thoughts and prayers. It’s truly unfair that you have to go through this.

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  11. This is truly awful and no one should have to go through a hell like this. I am so so sorry and praying for a swift resolution for your agony and for a miracle outcome. Hugs.xx

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  12. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. I can’t even begin to describe how much my heart just breaks for you. I’ve been right where you are at with my first pregnancy and I know how hard it is. You are not alone. We are all here supporting you. Sending hugs.

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  13. Hi Lindsey. I can only imagine what you are going through. Glad you took the day off, you definitely deserve it. Keep on those meds and i’m hoping your baby is in the uterus and is growing ever so patiently. I’m praying for you!!

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  14. Limbo Land, that is too much! I am a little surprised they are having you do so many betas for ectopic watch. Waiting is the worst. Hopefully you have (amazing) answers soon, but while you wait know that you have a huge support team right by your side!

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