Confessions of a POAS addict

Remember when I said my husband was going to hide my cheapie home pregnancy tests? Well… he didn’t.

I’ve been testing every morning from 4dp5dt until today 7dp5dt.

This morning, I woke up to pee when my husband left at 4:45 am.

Peed.

Waited.

Looked at the test and…

It looked lighter? WTF? I considered it a dud (as we all know sometimes a prego test can crap out on you).

Went back to bed.

Woke up at 6:45 am.

Got up.

Peed.

Waited.

And this is what I saw…

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Now, I have been concerned with testing due to the fact that I am taking 15 units of HCG daily.

DrunkStorks suggested I email my clinic to see if HCG accumulates or not. I emailed them this morning. They gave me the run around and suggested I wait until Beta.

A few days ago, I spoke with AndiePants. She mentioned that HCG has a half life – meaning half of the quantity is gone from your system 24 hours later. This made me believe that if I saw a progression where the tests started to get darker, there would be a good chance that my body was starting to produce it’s own HCG.

As you can see from this photo, things look like they are progressing (I wish I had removed the dud from this photo though):

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It turns out that my sister-in-law is a pharmacy technician. I spilled the beans to her this morning and sent her the pics. She looked it up, did the math and validated that the artificial HCG would not accumulate in my system.

I’m hoping and praying that this is the start of a good sign. I’m going to buy a pack of FRER’s this weekend, but I won’t do the first one until Sunday (9dp5dt). *fingers-crossed*

My beta still isn’t until 12dp5dt on September 17.

❤ ❤ ❤

There has been lots of heartache in the community lately. After enduring a chemical pregnancy in June, Jen took the summer off and is now facing the potential of an ectopic. My heart just breaks for her. I drove to work this morning crying tears of joy that we may be pregnant and tears of sadness for Jen’s potential loss. It pains me to see someone who has been such a support to me go through another horrible experience. Please head on over to Infertility, Why Me? and give Jen some love.

How to overcome a peeing on a stick addiction

I am a POAS addict. Some months, I keep it together and only test 1-2 times. Other months, curiosity gets the best of me.

I’m currently injecting 15 units of HCG each morning. I know this means that my home pregnancy tests (HPT) will have at least a faint positive.  I want to see how it progresses.

Initially this morning, it took a little while for the line to appear. BUT, I was convinced it wasn’t going to appear. I sulked back to my bed, mad at myself for letting my curiosity get the best of me. I stayed in bed for 45 minutes. I was scared to go back in the bathroom and see the result. The test was still faintly positive, but slightly darker than 2 days ago.

Here are the results from testing 2dp5dt and 4dp5dt:
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Now I get why the clinics recommend not POAS-ing. It’s a complete mind-fuck. As of right now, I’ve told myself I will wait until 8dp5dt (Saturday) to test again.

To keep my mind off whether or not I’m pregnant, I’ve created a list of things to do before my Beta:

  • Finish unpacking
  • Organize my sock drawer (long overdue!)
  • Continue watching Mad Men on Netflix
  • Have a Netflix movie marathon on the weekend
  • Meditate
  • Play with my animals
  • Go to the Farmer’s Market
  • Start Christmas shopping online
  • Browse Pinterest (this can waste hours!)
  • Stay engaged at work (translation: STAY OFF GOOGLE!)
  • Avoid Facebook (no joke – since our IVF cycle started, we’ve had 7 pregnancy announcements)
  • Call my bestie
  • Research baby gear (This is a double-edged sword. So fun, yet also builds the anticipation)
  • Make a Fall wreath to hang on the front door (Pinterest inspired obviously)
  • Make a wreath to give to my MIL for Christmas
  • Plan some date nights for my husband and I (as inspired by Ever Upward)
  • Back-up the photos on my cell phone
  • Clean off my old laptop
  • Research how to replace front step (I’ve told my husband this NEEDS to be done once I’m prego)
  • Update my fertility expenses spreadsheet
  • Submit my acupuncture claims
  • Write a daily blog post
  • And most of all… JUST BE!

I don’t expect to get everything on this list done. I plan to use it to distract myself if I sense a case of the baby-crazies coming on. Most importantly, I plan to honour myself and my body. If I’m tired, I’ll take a nap. If I need a night alone, I’ll stay home. Right now, I want to stay in a healthy, happy mindset. 

Tonight, I’m letting my husband hide the HPTs. He can give them to me one at a time when we both decide it’s ok to test.

8 days til Beta ❤

Do you have any other ideas to pass the time?