Employers offering to pay for egg freezing: empowerment or enslavement?

This article has been circulating online today:  Apple, Facebook to Women Employees: Keep Working, We’ll Pay to Freeze Your Eggs.

Immediately after I read it,  I posted my reaction to my Facebook wall:

As much as I believe in a women’s ability to choose her life path, I struggle with this concept. I would never recommend fertility treatments to anyone who did not medically need them. IVF (or even egg freezing) is not easy on a woman physically or mentally. If we are going to approach fertility from the scientific standpoint that age doesn’t matter, then maybe we should first consider Government funding for those who medically suffer from the disease know as infertility. It’s difficult for me to grasp the concept of my treatment not being funded, yet companies are stepping up to encourage women to delay their fertility which poses higher risks and no guarantees. On top of that, what kind of message are we sending to women? Can you not have a successful career and become a mother at the same time?”

I should not be as surprised as I am. 

I would love to read the internal publications that promote these programs. I would love to read the fine print and see how much they are actually funding, what are the caveats, what are the loopholes.

This is not empowerment. This is another sign of society condemning women for embracing their femininity, their womanhood and their birthright to be a mother.

This is enslaving women to their jobs. It’s taking away their choice to become a mother when THEY desire. It’s potentially ostracising them if they do not pursue their career path first.

Because as much as they SAY that won’t happen, we all know it will. 

They try to sell it as a positive choice, but really they are promoting a high-risk scenario. They are encouraging women to look to science to solve their fertility woes instead of letting their bodies do what they were naturally built to do. They are encouraging putting drugs in your system and enduring invasive procedures “just because it’s easier for your career”.

Is it really easier for you? Who paints the picture of what fertility treatments are ACTUALLY like? 

The disease of infertility leads so many of us to pursue treatment. Yes, we have a choice to accept treatment or not, but for most of us, it’s not a matter of choice. We will not conceive without fertility treatments.

It’s too soon to be promoting “fertility treatments by choice” when infertility is barely recognized and hardly funded.

What will happen to the infertility industry if a drawn our fertility timeline becomes the societal norm?

I think we need to take a step back here. I’m all about women’s right and women’s choice, but this jaded infertile feels like this issue needs some more thought put into it first.

The irony of taking a break

It’s no secret that months of drugs and fertility treatments can leave you feeling unsexy, uncomfortable, disconnected and completely turned off from sex.

Leading up to ovulation, I tend to experience the most side effects from my clomid + HCG. Meaning: NOT INTERESTED.

When ovulation time arrives, we engage in the obligatory trying to conceive sex. Nothing screams intimate like doctor’s orders and ovulation pain.

Next, comes the always anticipated 2ww. Cue the vaginal progesterone suppositories. Cue the gross, thick, creamy white discharge. Ohhhhh yeeeeahhhhh! I’m definitely sexified when I change my panty liner 5X a day and excuse myself from our date night supper to go “reinsert” in the restaurant wash room. Take me now baby! At least I’m fresh… but probably not that clean. Yuck! 

Our enjoyable sex life has somehow disappeared behind the cloud of (in)fertility.

We’re on a break due to my hubby’s surgery. Our goal for the next 2 months is relaxation and recovery. Him from circumcision . Me from 3 months of medicated cycles & 2 IUIs.

We have no intention of trying to conceive naturally, especially since we aren’t sure how long it will take my husband to heal.

Well…

It turns out we both seem to have found our mojos! Perfect timing. NOT.

My husband read on his hospital discharge instructional sheet that his limitation on sex was only 2 weeks. And since then, he’s been counting down the days.

Yesterday, he told me it was “Sunday Funday” (if you get what I mean). I knew he was in over his head. Although his member is healing, it’s far from healed. He’s got about 3-4 stitches still to go.

My husband put the moves on me, but didn’t make it past 2nd base. I inspected his penis before moving further and declared “Sunday Funday” officially cancelled. He needs more time to heal and I’m not willing to risk it. I’ll definitely take a rain cheque though. 

In the meantime, he’s taken to telling me how beautiful I look and how much he enjoys seeing me smile. Then, he suggests I change out of his favourite tight t-shirt before I give him a boner and rip a stitch out. No joke. His words, not mine. 

Stealing kisses while I wash the dishes, whistling as I walk up the stairs, holding me extra close as we drift off the sleep… I almost feel like I’m a teenager again.

The irony of the situation is: we pretty much can’t have sex, yet that’s all we want to do.

(Did anyone watch that 90 Day Fiance show on TLC? Because I’m really beginning to feel like that Mormon couple right now… haha) 

I’m glad we took this break because I think we needed it more than we realized.

I’m looking forward to the passion we will experience once we are finally able to be together again.

Until then, my husband can have warm baths to loosen the stitches, essential oils to minimize the scarring and no strenuous activity. I need to protect what’s mine. 😀

CD1: now what’s the plan?

Well, my period arrived as expected – right about 5 p.m. yesterday afternoon.

Today is CD1. First cycle of IUI with meds.

I am scheduled for my first follicle monitoring appointment on December 6th or CD10. Isn’t this late to be starting Clomid? 

I am so fucking confused right now.

Mr. Google tells me one thing. I know my body does another (and clearly the doctor too). 

I called the Doctor’s office back for clarification, but the receptionist told me she wasn’t really sure and I should just come in for my appointment and wait for the IUI clinic to call.

How am I supposed to figure out my schedule for the next month?

When will I be done my meds?

When will I take my trigger shot?

When I can expect to have to drive the 2+ hours to the IUI clinic because my lovely city doesn’t offer the procedure?

Oh yeah, I forgot. (In)fertility treatments mean you have no schedule! You can’t plan beyond the next week.

Time to let go of my need to plan. Grrreeat. You think I would have realized this sooner.

I tend to ovulate naturally around CD 19-20. The doc said this will be a medicated cycle with low dose of Clomid and a trigger shot, but does it make sense to start Clomid on CD 10?

Can any one out there help me? If not, I guess I’ll be waiting until my appointment.

I have a reiki session this afternoon that I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO. I need some grounding right now.

Calm that brain down, Lindsey. Relax. A week wait isn’t that long. Throw that need to plan out the window. 

You can do this.