Employers offering to pay for egg freezing: empowerment or enslavement?

This article has been circulating online today:  Apple, Facebook to Women Employees: Keep Working, We’ll Pay to Freeze Your Eggs.

Immediately after I read it,  I posted my reaction to my Facebook wall:

As much as I believe in a women’s ability to choose her life path, I struggle with this concept. I would never recommend fertility treatments to anyone who did not medically need them. IVF (or even egg freezing) is not easy on a woman physically or mentally. If we are going to approach fertility from the scientific standpoint that age doesn’t matter, then maybe we should first consider Government funding for those who medically suffer from the disease know as infertility. It’s difficult for me to grasp the concept of my treatment not being funded, yet companies are stepping up to encourage women to delay their fertility which poses higher risks and no guarantees. On top of that, what kind of message are we sending to women? Can you not have a successful career and become a mother at the same time?”

I should not be as surprised as I am. 

I would love to read the internal publications that promote these programs. I would love to read the fine print and see how much they are actually funding, what are the caveats, what are the loopholes.

This is not empowerment. This is another sign of society condemning women for embracing their femininity, their womanhood and their birthright to be a mother.

This is enslaving women to their jobs. It’s taking away their choice to become a mother when THEY desire. It’s potentially ostracising them if they do not pursue their career path first.

Because as much as they SAY that won’t happen, we all know it will. 

They try to sell it as a positive choice, but really they are promoting a high-risk scenario. They are encouraging women to look to science to solve their fertility woes instead of letting their bodies do what they were naturally built to do. They are encouraging putting drugs in your system and enduring invasive procedures “just because it’s easier for your career”.

Is it really easier for you? Who paints the picture of what fertility treatments are ACTUALLY like? 

The disease of infertility leads so many of us to pursue treatment. Yes, we have a choice to accept treatment or not, but for most of us, it’s not a matter of choice. We will not conceive without fertility treatments.

It’s too soon to be promoting “fertility treatments by choice” when infertility is barely recognized and hardly funded.

What will happen to the infertility industry if a drawn our fertility timeline becomes the societal norm?

I think we need to take a step back here. I’m all about women’s right and women’s choice, but this jaded infertile feels like this issue needs some more thought put into it first.

Today I unfriended someone on Facebook

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. 

Things I love about Facebook: 

  • Seeing my friends and families updates – especially since my loved ones are spread out across Canada and the US.
  • The motivational messages that people post.
  • Information about upcoming events
  • Finding out about new stores or services that relate to my interests (yes, I’m one of those wierdos who loves targeted marketing

Things I hate about Facebook: 

  • The never-ending pregnancy announcements
  • Ultrasounds as profile pics
  • Countdowns til baby arrives
  • People who post photos of their kids just for the sake of posting photos of their kids. Typically in these photos, the kids aren’t engaging in any sort of cute activity and the photo is blurry and/or lacks any sort of photography skill 

I have decided that the pros outweigh the cons. I’m not willing to delete my Facebook account, but I really do think someone needs to build an app to allow you to omit certain images/posts from your feedback based on keyword. I work in software development. Why haven’t I gotten a friend to code this up for me? 

Today, for the first time, I delete a Facebook friend due to a prego announcement.

Well, alright, she wasn’t EXACTLY a friend. She was a woman who used to work as a waitress near my husband’s home town. I’ve ran into her a few times. I know her in-laws, especially her mother-in-law as we used to sit on a Board together. Anyway… 

Her announcement said something along the lines of: Well so much for that… I’m pregnant. 

This woman has 3 kids between two baby-daddies, and her youngest are both under the age of 3. Obviously this post peaked my interest. You’ve got to be kidding me! SHE’S PREGNANT AGAIN? 

Well it turned out, IT WAS A JOKE! For real? Who the fuck jokes about being pregnant on Facebook?

I guess it was one of those games where if you comment on your friend’s status, they give you something false and provocative to put as yours. Lame. 

Anyway, I didn’t even think twice. I unfriended her immediately. 

Crazy, insensitive fertiles. *headshake* 

Facebook = an infertile’s enemy

Some days, I wish that I could filter my Facebook wall to omit certain subjects. #baby #pregnancy #ultrasound #expecting #birth #welcomebaby

I was in a decent mood today… until I checked my Facebook. ANOTHER one of hubby’s cousins is pregnant. It’s her 3rd child. Clearly, she’s fertile.

Initially, I was fine. I said Congrats. She’s got cute kids. Another will be exciting.

Then I checked and checked again and checked again. Everyone was saying congrats! *queue the water works*

Because that’s what us (in)fertiles do: we torture ourselves.

So, I made a list of everyone I know who announced a pregnancy or gave birth in 2013. Got to 20 names and gave up.

I texted hubby to ask if he called the Surgical Wait Line to find out where he is on the list. Yup, still waiting 2-4 months. Great. Potentially even longer now.

Why did I start a cleaning eating cleanse this week? Oh yeah – to make my body healthier for a BABY!

All I want is a chocolate bar.

Lesson of the day: (in)fertiles should limit their Facebook use.

Now only if I can put that lesson into practise.