The end of the first year

I must admit it. I’ve been horrible at writing since I returned to work. Being a mompreneur means that – for now – my blog has dropped in priority. Here I am for a long overdue update.

I can hardly believe that Wyatt is 14 months old. We successfully made it through the first year. He’s developed into such a caring, inquisitive, intelligent, affectionate toddler. His personality is so strong. I often joke he’s way more of an extrovert than I am, but he still loves his snuggles and down time when we are alone at home.

He’s really thriving at daycare; although, he’s barely been there this month. We went to Florida for a week earlier in December with my brother and his family. Then, my husband and I both took some time off over the Christmas holidays.

I hosted Christmas supper this year with my in-laws which was better than I expected. I really made an effort to focus on the kids. Wyatt (kinda) learned to open presents, but was way more excited to watch his cousins open theirs.

I really realized this holiday season that I miss my family. Tremendously. I wish my parents could have seen more of my son throughout the first year of his life. We’ve started facetime-ing with them a bit more often. My Mom works crazy hours though and she doesn’t get to see Wyatt as often as my Dad does. He made strange with her on Christmas morning and it just broke my heart.

We really enjoyed vacation with my brother though. I want to make an effort to visit my family more often each year.

Guess what? Come on this is an easy one… we are still breastfeeding, co-sleeping and cloth diapering. We might try to transition Wyatt onto milk at daycare and his toddler bed for naps (he hated the crib, so we converted it the other day). We aren’t really in a rush. We keep chatting about it, but haven’t actively pursued either yet.

As for me, I’m still working on getting clear as to what it is I’m destined to do for my career. I’ve been successfully freelancing and consulting since September. I have a few opportunities in front of me. I’m trying my best to listen to my intuition on which one lights me up and fits our family needs.

Going through infertility, loosing a baby, birthing a beautiful rainbow baby and watching him grow over this past year has given me a new perspective on life. I spent so many years angry, resentful, ashamed, hurt, grieving and feeling guilty. Infertility and loss will always be a part of our life – a part of our story – but I’m not willing to let the darkness overcome me. I will go with the ebbs and the flows of my feelings, but my son deserves to live in a home full of light.

I’ve decided my word for the year 2017 is CREATE… and I plan to create a life full of happiness, love, joy, and passion.

Happy Holidays & all the best to you in 2017.

XOXO

Lindsey

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The silver lining

I am not one to talk about my career on here. This may be one of the last times I directly reference it, but I felt the need to share this story with you.

As you may have already read, I’ve had some major shake ups at work lately. My boss left. I was reassigned to a new role. Another key member of our team left. Then, they reassigned us to a different Director. All of this happened between the time we got home from IVF and yesterday.

I’ve been anxious about having a new Director when my last one was so supportive of our fertility journey.

When I informed my work I would be taking the full 4 weeks off, my new Director insisted on meeting me when he came to town yesterday. My HR rep told me the choice was mine as I am still off on disability, but I felt like the pressure was on to go in.

Our meeting was nothing I could have expected. They offered me a managerial role to run my entire department. This is a newly created role to off-set the assignment of the new Director. They need someone to manage the day-to-day operations and they chose me.

Why is this significant?

My workplace knows that I just experienced an ectopic pregnancy loss. They know that I have been pursuing fertility treatment and that we plan on continuing until we have a baby. In their eyes, this didn’t matter when it came to my promotion. They told me they will support whatever time off I need for appointments. They even encouraged me to make sure I am ready to come back as they don’t want to overwhelm me with the new role. I am still going back next Monday though. 

On top of all of this, I am one of less than 10 women in a tech company. I am the only woman in my department and now I will be leading it. I am honoured to work for a company that promotes women and does not let their personal journeys hold back their careers.

Three years ago, I left a government role because I didn’t feel like I could raise a child and continue my career there. Very few people in my department had children and it seemed as if you couldn’t move up if you did.

I have no doubt in my mind that my current company will allow me to continue my career and have a family. I so grateful to pursue this new opportunity.

I didn’t think anything good could possibly come after our pregnancy loss. I’ve been struggling to see the light, but yesterday was my first real day without crying.

I’ve felt lost over the past year. Our fertility journey drained me and my aspirations. It left me feeling like I had no purpose in life.

This new role has given me purpose. I am so excited to return to work, to be busy and to have something else to focus on other than miscarriage and infertility.

Thank you universe for giving me this gift. 

(In)fertility & your career

CD 3.

Yes Aunt Flo arrived on Friday. Whohoo! I mean it when I say I’m happy she’s here.

In my last post, (In)fertility land limbo= lots of time to ponder, I mentioned that fertility treatments can cause stress not only on your personal life, but also your professional life.

Last week, my boss asked me to travel to our head office to attend some meetings in-person. The timing potentially conflicts with our next IUI cycle. I’ve decided it’s time to tell my boss that we are going through fertility treatments. Tonight, I drafted an email to send to him.

I predict that my boss will be more than understanding. I already know that my workplace is flexible and accommodating, but I think being honest with him will make me less stressed if I have to reschedule work meetings due to conflicting fertility appointments.

Before I send that email,  can I get your advice?

Does your employer know that you are going through fertility treatments? How did you tell them? How much detail did you give them? Did it affect your career or position at all?

If not, how do you explain your reoccurring need to be absent for medical reasons?