Intentions for 2016

Last year, I set my intentions for 2015 using Leonie Dawson’s Create Your Shining Year workbooks. I was introduced to Leonie’s books and her work through my fertility coach, Zahra.

I highly recommend these books if you are someone – like me! – who loves setting intentions, being creative, writing down your goals and reflecting back on them.

This year, I pre-ordered the set (both life and biz books) in the summer. I reviewed my 2015 intentions and progress, but I haven’t quite finished my 2016 intentions.

For 2015, I defined my word of the year as PEACE. Throughout my pregnancy, peace really was an apparent theme. I distanced myself from people who cause drama and spent a lot of time alone finding my inner peace. I also worked at finding peace in pregnancy after loss – which is not an easy feat! At the end of my pregnancy, I had to make peace with the lack of control I had over the timing of Wyatt’s arrival. We also had an overwhelming sense of peace once he finally joined us. ❤

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My theme for 2016 is JOY. I want every day to be filled with joy. I want to experience so much happiness in this first year of my son’s life. I  want to only commit to activities, people, and items that bring joy into my world. This would be the reason I’ve registered for Mommy + Baby yoga; not bootcamp. 😀 (haha) 

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I will complete the 2016 book, but I’m not putting a timeline on myself. That’s been another big lesson since having a baby: going with the flow sometimes means that timelines aren’t as important. My intentions will organically unfold as they are meant to. Besides, I’m not experiencing joy if I’m experiencing  unnecessary stress. 🙂

What’s your word of the year? 

 

Baby wearing for the win!

Wyatt has been a bit off this week. Not necessarily bad, just a bit cranky and clingy. He doesn’t want to be put down, left alone or play much. As crazy as it sounds, we think his teeth may be bothering him. He’s been putting his whole fist in his mouth and rubbing it on the bottom gum. He also started drooling. My Mom said I had 4 teeth by my 4th month. I guess there’s a possibility that he could be an early teether like his Momma.

On top of Wyatt’s moodiness, I’m feeling a bit stir crazy. After such a nice and late Fall, we are starting to get our typical Canadian winter weather (-20 with snow). I feel guilty taking the little man out if I don’t really have to. Plus, I’m avoiding the stores to pull back on my spending.

The many days at home with little social contact and a baby who hates to be put down leaves me anxious and over thinking. I found myself contemplating major life decisions with mixed feelings.

Do I really want to go back to work? Could I manage to freelance and quit my full time job? How long do I want to stay off? Would I feel fulfilled as a stay at home Mom? Could we even financially afford it? What if I can’t find suitable childcare? What if my job is way more stressful and requires additional travel due to my new position? Will I be able to be away from Wyatt? How could I travel if we are still breastfeeding then?

Since I plan on being off until at least the summer, these thoughts are clearly premature. I need to enjoy these moments with Wyatt instead of looking so far ahead. So, I took a deep breath  and figured out how to keep myself busy to quiet my mind.

The solution: baby wearing.

I’ve been wearing him in the Ergo to get my ass off the couch while still keeping him happy. I managed to bake 2 batches of cookies, do a load of laundry, wash dishes and tidy the kitchen with him in the Ergo. I also tried to feed him which resulted in 2 sucks before baby was fast asleep. I’d say that was a success.

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Seriously, I do not know what I would do without a baby carrier. It’s the only thing keeping me sane. I’m feeling much more grounded, much less anxious, much more satisfied with my productivity.

I guess this week’s lesson continued to be how to slow down, but also how to do things differently to accommodate both my needs and the baby’s. Because you know, being couped up calls for homemade cookies!

Hey time! Can you slow down please?

It’s ironic that while trying to conceive you wish and hope and pray for each cycle to progress. You anticipate getting to the end of that 2ww and testing for your BFP. When you are finally pregnant,  you anxiously await your baby’s arrival 9 months later. Pregnancy can drag on and on especially that last month. Then,  your baby arrives and before you know it they are talking their baby talk, smiling, giggling, rolling around and…

Wearing size 6 month clothes!!!!

Say what!?!?!

Yes, Wyatt has outgrown size 3. He is now wearing size 3-6 or 6 depending on the brand. He’s only (just about) 10 weeks old.

I spent an hour this evening reorganizing his dresser and closet. I have an entire Rubbermaid bin of clothes that are practically brand new –  washed but never worn – and now packed away with the hopes of using them for another child. We got good use out of the sleepers, but that’s it. I have half of another Rubbermaid bin that I’ve decided to sell or donate.

Luckily, we have a good selection of the next size up due to hand me downs and gifts. I’m so glad I asked people to buy us bigger sizes.

Wyatt had his 2 month immunizations last week. At that appointment he was 23.5 inches long and 13.5 lbs (the doctors office measured his length wrong the week before as the nurse just kind of eye balled it). Clearly my baby boy is thriving. He’s in the 85th percentile for both weight and height.

I wish that time would slow down a bit. Wyatt seems so advanced already. It’s amazing to watch him grow and learn, but shocking how quickly it happens.

I typically like to watch for sales and bargain shop when I can. At the rate this kid is growing, I’ve got no clue what he size he will be in for upcoming seasons.

As for clothes, I find fluffy bums harder to dress. We have been cloth diapering even when we go out these days. I ordered a pair of jeans designed specifically for cloth, so I’ll let you know how they fit once they arrive. I also just bought a pair of Maxaloones to see how that style works.

As for future clothing purchases, what brands do you find fit bigger? What pants are particularly good for fluffy cloth diaper bums?

Solo parenting is hard

I used to look forward to bedtime as I would get a quiet time to myself after my boys fell asleep. Wyatt’s been extra clingy lately at bedtime. He won’t go to sleep without me. In fact,  I attempted to sneak away to write this post and he fussed until I laid back down beside him and gave him the boob. I guess I should be proud of the fact I’m currently feeding my baby and writing this post. 🙂 The screen on my cell phone is dimmed as to not shine in the baby’s face.

Mike has the flu. For the past 24 hours,  it feels like I’ve been solo parenting.

I’ve uncovered a newfound level of respect for solo Mommas or those whose partners work away from home. Solo parenting is tough.

It’s so much easier during the weekdays when I know there is relief in sight. I get a break when Mike gets home from work even if it’s just an hour.

It’s hard because my baby loves to be close to his Dad or myself. I don’t even want to ask Mike to briefly hold Wyatt for risk of him being exposed. I did get a few moments without him in my arms today,  but I used them to feed myself or go to the washroom.

I found myself feeling guilty today as I longed for a warm bath by myself or a free hand to write in my journal or access to my laptop without positioning it to the side of a baby. There is no need to feel guilty though. I should pat myself on the back for recognizing what I need to maintain my mental health. I deserve a few ”me” minutes everyday.

I also realized how much I appreciate having a husband who enjoys co-parenting and is willing to give me a break when he can.

I didn’t go crazy today. I embraced the stillness and Netflix binged with the baby cuddled close. That’s what life with a baby is all about: going with the flow.

Everyone always says there will come a day when he isn’t clingy anymore or as reliant upon me. I will look back and appreciate these moments. I tried my best to make the most of it with snuggles, cuddles, giggles, and laughs.

Although I know I can tackle the solo Momma gig, I am praying Mike’s flu is no more than a 48 hour one. And that Wyatt and I remain healthy. Wish us luck!

The one baby item we didn’t buy

I was convinced that this was an unnecessary overpriced baby item. I had many people offer to sell me theirs second hand,  but I refused.

‘Oh no,  I’ve got another one. A traditional back and forth swing. My baby doesn’t need a Mamaroo.”

Turns out, I was wrong.

This Momma needs a Mamaroo.

He’s boycotted the other swing and had spent maybe a total of 5 mins in it.

We had supper at a friends on New Year’s Day. She got her husband to pull their Mamaroo out of the storage closet for Wyatt to use while we ate.

And… 

We are currently borrowing our friend’s model. Wyatt has been happily giggling at the monster ball mobile and kicking his legs for almost half an hour now.

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My baby loves the Mamaroo.