Solo parenting is hard

I used to look forward to bedtime as I would get a quiet time to myself after my boys fell asleep. Wyatt’s been extra clingy lately at bedtime. He won’t go to sleep without me. In fact,  I attempted to sneak away to write this post and he fussed until I laid back down beside him and gave him the boob. I guess I should be proud of the fact I’m currently feeding my baby and writing this post. 🙂 The screen on my cell phone is dimmed as to not shine in the baby’s face.

Mike has the flu. For the past 24 hours,  it feels like I’ve been solo parenting.

I’ve uncovered a newfound level of respect for solo Mommas or those whose partners work away from home. Solo parenting is tough.

It’s so much easier during the weekdays when I know there is relief in sight. I get a break when Mike gets home from work even if it’s just an hour.

It’s hard because my baby loves to be close to his Dad or myself. I don’t even want to ask Mike to briefly hold Wyatt for risk of him being exposed. I did get a few moments without him in my arms today,  but I used them to feed myself or go to the washroom.

I found myself feeling guilty today as I longed for a warm bath by myself or a free hand to write in my journal or access to my laptop without positioning it to the side of a baby. There is no need to feel guilty though. I should pat myself on the back for recognizing what I need to maintain my mental health. I deserve a few ”me” minutes everyday.

I also realized how much I appreciate having a husband who enjoys co-parenting and is willing to give me a break when he can.

I didn’t go crazy today. I embraced the stillness and Netflix binged with the baby cuddled close. That’s what life with a baby is all about: going with the flow.

Everyone always says there will come a day when he isn’t clingy anymore or as reliant upon me. I will look back and appreciate these moments. I tried my best to make the most of it with snuggles, cuddles, giggles, and laughs.

Although I know I can tackle the solo Momma gig, I am praying Mike’s flu is no more than a 48 hour one. And that Wyatt and I remain healthy. Wish us luck!

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17 thoughts on “Solo parenting is hard

  1. It is for sure the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But also – I’m used to it. I never had any help and then had it taken away, so I don’t know what I”m missing and that somehow makes it a little easier to take/do, I think!

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  2. I needed this acknowledgement tonight! BG won’t even let me out of her sight for the last few months, so even when Mr. MLACS is home I hardly even go to the bathroom by myself. I’m frustrated lately b/c she’s been especially demanding lately, and I’m doubly freaked b/c Mr. MLACS is about to leave for the next few months with only the occassional weekend home. It will be ok but there will be moments.

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      • Thank you for the compliment. Sometimes I feel really strong about my “accidental attachment parenting” style–I do feel like BG is benefitting–and other times I feel weak because I want to be able to have some time to myself but I refuse to (or am unable to) face my fear and anxiety about leaving her. So it’s kind of a wash. XOXO

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        • I have left Wyatt for a max of 1.5 hours a few times. I always feel guilty and worry about him when I’m gone. Each time has been for appointments, not just to spend time on my own. When I need me time, he’s with his Daddy and I’m just in another room at home. That being said, those appointments clearly cause me anxiety. I’ve decided to really determine whether the appointment is necessary or if I can bring him along. He’s so good that it’s easier on me to take him than to leave him sometimes. I know I need to work on trusting he will be fine without me, but being that I’m also breastfeeding, it’s hard to say he won’t need me. So I worry the whole time I’m gone. I guess what I’m trying to say is that even once you make the decision to leave her, it doesn’t mean the fear won’t surface again.

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          • I just take BG everywhere and always end up nursing her wherever we go. That is one great reason (ahem, excuse) for me not to leave her–she is a frequent nurser and I suck at pumping (also, I hate pumping b/c I suck at it). I say do what feels right. If you will feel better taking him to an appointment, do it. If you want to leave him at home so you can get a (much needed and well deserved) pedicure, do it (what I do is have Mr. MLACS drive us–BG falls asleep in the car–and he will drop me off and then drive BG around so she stays asleep until I’m done. Of course, this can only happen when Mr. MLACS is off work). XOXO

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  3. I have this theory about myself right now. I think my babies were so damanding – like any other babies would be – that I’m a bit traumatized. I feel like my days are just about getting them to stop crying. And they are turning 2 this week. Still, very big criers. If I didn’t have help I don’t know what I would have done. At all!

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  4. Oh, I so understand this one. I am on my own sometimes. I am blessed to have a neighbor that longs for grandchildren that checks in with me frequently! I hope you and Wyatt stay healthy and Hubs mends soon! XO
    P.S. Wait till the teething gets really intense–you’ll be grateful you can just plop a boob in his mouth (at least I am) and he’ll be comforted! So much better than the crying or fussing…

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