I did what everyone tells you not to do

I looked.

Well,  first I lightly patted while in the tub. With just the slightest touch,  I knew it was bad.

Then today,  the public health nurse checked it for me. Before she even got close, she cringed and said, ” Oh my! That’s a LOT of swelling.

After that, I HAD to look. I’m just that kind of person.

I got a mirror and placed it on the bathroom floor. I stood over top, took a deep breath and glanced down.

She ain’t pretty.

She’s actually more comparable to horrific right now.

My poor perenium. 😦

No one recorded what degree my tear is. The public health nurse thought maybe someone had told me. I think they just wanted to spare me the graphic details.

My bum hole seems intact even though it doesn’t seem to have much control. When I gotta go,  I gotta go… And lucky me, that’s been twice since delivery.

I guess that means it must not be a 4th degree, maybe not even 3rd degree tear. The nurse couldn’t tell from all the swelling. She could barely find the stitches.

I just assumed I needed fixing up due to the episiotomy. My OB took way longer to stitch it up than I had expected though.

After looking, it’s obvious I tore to the side way beyond the small incision the doctor made to allow the forceps to enter and baby to come out.

I’ve got strict instructions from the nurse to stay off my ass (how often does someone hear that?), soak in the tub as much as possible, ice it, use perenium spray and padsicles.

I guess that’s what happens when your baby drops and engages weeks before labour begins, gets stuck in the birth canal after you push for 3 hours and then, requires a forcep delivery.


Oh well…

He was worth it. ❤



57 thoughts on “I did what everyone tells you not to do

  1. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that right now!!! I truly hope that you start to heal up soon. In the mean time…that face!!! I just want to pinch those chubby little cheeks!! He’s beautiful 🙂


    • Not all of the experience was horrible. When I find a few more minutes, I’ll go into more detail about the day overall. I managed to sneak this post out while soaking in the tub tonight. I can’t wait for you to get some news about the status of your adoption. Bringing home your baby is an experience like no other – especially when you’ve come so far to get there. I cried and cried this morning as he snuggled into my shoulder because one year ago we were in such a different place.


  2. Ouch! Do you have a stuff for sitz baths? That was the most amazing thing, other than (get this) Using the blow drier on it after every bath or shower. I want healing well and my midwife suggested that. Two days and suddenly it started to actual heal.

    Also, agreed. Totally worth it.


  3. 3 hours of pushing?! You poor, poor thing. I’m so sorry you’re so hurty. I had a second degree tear and I was miserable. Sitting, standing–it all hurt. I hope you heal quickly. Ice was my friend.


  4. Ouch. Are you allowed to use Epsom salts? They helped me with the MT although I only had an episiotomy no additional tearing so I’m not sure what is best in your much more extreme case. Wyatt looks so calm and peaceful (of course, he doesn’t have to stay off his ass and didn’t require stitches ;-)).


  5. Yikes, I never did look, I didn’t want to see. I had a 2nd degree tear and a ton of swelling too (but no episiotomy). I also pushed for 3 hrs and then they used a vacuum (forceps, owie!). My bottom and tailbone were so sore from sitting all the time, so staying off your ass is good advice ha ha. There is bound to be lots of swelling with all that pushing but I found after a few days my swelling went down considerably. When we first got home my big granny panties that I bought just for postpartum were too tight! Rest up mama, enjoy those sweet cheeks 🙂


  6. Oh dear oh dear!! That sounds so painful. I can’t even imagine (sunroof babies over here). Heal well lady. Glad he’s safe and sound and you’re soaking up all the new snuggles and love


    • I do have one. A friend picked me up one the other day. It’s not helping much now but hopefully will soon. I should maybe try to roll my Snoogle up and see if that works as a donut as well. I may be a foot high on the couch but you gotta go what you gotta do.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my goodness. I hope you heal quickly. Love the picture if you two! I can mail you a whole box of the padsicles if you want them! I bought a case off of amazon and didn’t use them due to c section. If you want them, email me your address! Hugs!


  8. Oh hell, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as I had just finished dressing my nipple wound (another f*ing infection) after nursing BG and popped a handful of motrin. But ya know what? My butt puckered at your post and any ounce of self-pity disappeared. That, and looking at my beautiful sleeping baby. Take good care sweets–stay in bed and plan to see a pelvic floor specialist. XOXO


  9. You’re such a great writer…I love reading your posts! This one had me both laughing out loud and cringing…I’m sorry you’re having so much swelling and pain, you poor little thing!! So happy he’s finally here, love the snuggly pic. Enjoy every moment with your beautiful son!


  10. OUCH. Well Wyatt was a 9lb baby- that in and of itself screams TEARING to me. Then the forceps…. Oh man. I’m glad you’ve had some decent poops, and hope that Mike goes and gets you some Epsom salts for a sitz bath. Aw Hun, if it were practical, I’d send you all my padsicles!! Wishing you lots of healing.


  11. OMG he is soo cute. I am so terrified of what my lady bits will look like after bean is here. I guess I am more terrified for that very first poo. :/ Ugh You are a brave one taking a looksie down there.


  12. I only liked this post because I was glad to read an update but I want to explicitly say I do not like what happened to your lady bits!!

    I’m glad little man is settling in and is such an easy little guy. I’m looking forward to more motherhood posts. And I truly do hope the healing is fast.


  13. Pingback: 1 week postpartum | Awaiting Autumn

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s