Oh pregnancy insomnia! Once again, it’s 3 am and I’m wide awake. I decided to just get up instead of fighting it. I typically will go back to sleep in an hour or two.
Not much to report on baby’s pending arrival. Thursday after my sweep, I had some brown spotting and very light cramps. I went to acupuncture on Friday morning. My acupuncturist agreed to start working on the induction points past 38 weeks, but said she would ease slowly into it. It must have done something because I had brown spotting, increased vaginal discharge (thick mucous – almost like ovulation time) and a consistent on and off again pressure in my cervix all Friday night. I was convinced I would wake up Saturday morning and be in labour. I even finished packing my hospital bag before I went to sleep. The pressure was decent enough that it even woke me up. Come Saturday morning, everything was back to normal. No signs of oncoming labour.
Yesterday, we attended our local Silent Hearts Perinatal Loss Awareness walk. It was a crap day – cold, rainy and windy, but we toughed it out. I made it through the 2.5km walk. Surprisingly, my pelvic pain has lessened but my SI joint was acting up during the walk (and still is… ugh). I had quite a bit of SI joint pain during the walk and some braxton hicks. Afterwards, I had increased vaginal discharge (almost thick and yellowish), but it stopped fairly quick. No other labour signs or symptoms. I was really hoping the long walk would encourage him to vacate the premises. I’m thinking baby boy is comfortable in there.
Overall, it was quite the family event. Many people were gathered with their children, parents, grandparents and friends. I was surprised at how many people I recognized even. I may have been the largest pregnant woman there, but I wasn’t the only pregnant woman which helped ease my worry about feeling awkward at 38.5 weeks pregnant at a pregnancy loss awareness walk. I didn’t get emotional until I wrote our daughter’s name on our prayer flag. They were just beautiful. In the end, we skipped the closing ceremonies. We had a family supper to attend and I needed to sit down. It was a nice celebration and I would consider going again especially if the weather is nicer next year.
My husband has been very considerate this past week. I contemplated not going to the walk due to the weather, but he insisted that at least one of us attend because “she deserves it“. He even offered to go for us, but I knew it was something we had to do together. It meant a lot to me that he not only referred to her as she, but that he also saw the significance and importance behind the event.
My MIL texted my husband asking what we were up to yesterday. When he mentioned that we were going to the loss awareness walk, she just didn’t respond. I DON’T GET IT. Those are the times you should say something comforting, perhaps even offer to join us? Oh well. I’ve just accepted that they will never truly acknowledge our daughter. I do think my husband is having a hard time with it though. We had a conversation last night about how their actions aren’t a reflection of the person he is.
I’m so proud of who he is and our little family.
Now if someone would decide he’s ready to join us, life would be perfect. 🙂