One year ago today, I had bloodwork and an ultrasound, then started my stims.
I crossed over into the world of IVF treatment not realizing what was in store for me.
I think reflection is an important part of life. Not reflecting on the negative all the time, but reflecting on the challenges and seeing what became of them.
In the past year, I’ve experienced:
- A cocktail of fertility meds
- Over 120 self (or husband) injected needles
- Close to 50 blood tests
- 2 surgeries
- 2 embryo transfers
- 2 pregnancies
- Grief and heartache following a pregnancy loss
- A mild case of OHSS
- Borderline Hyperemesis Gravidarum
- Carpal Tunnel
- Constipation
- Acid reflux and heartburn
- Lost friends
- Gained friends
- A newfound sense of self
- A closer connection to my husband
- A better understanding of my body
- Love at first sight
- All of the “pregnancy firsts” (first ultrasound, first heartbeat, first anatomy scan, first kick)
- 3 changes in my job position/title
- Paying off IVF costs
- Preparing for baby
- Stress
- Relaxation
- Fear
- Hope
I’m sure this list could go on and on…
Was this past year easy? Hell no, but I would never change it.
The challenges were worth the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve met, and the strength I’ve gained.
If you asked me 1 year ago where I thought I’d be today, I would have said on maternity leave with a 3 month old baby girl.
Instead, I’m 32 weeks pregnant preparing for the birth of our baby boy.
Life changes and we can’t control it.
All we can do is look back on it and appreciate how far we’ve come. ❤
The journey never ends. It merely twists and turns us in another direction.
Sending you so much love as you remember where your journey has taken you and as your journey continues towards an unknown, yet exciting future.
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Reblogged this on Our Eggcellent Adventure.
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So well put! Wishing you the best through the rest of your journey. It’ll be nice to have a fellow Parenthood After Infertility blogger! 🙂
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Yes I’m very much looking forward to what the future holds for all of us
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What an interesting way to reflect- taking inventory of what has transpired this past year. I like your list. I kinda feel that now that we’re pregnant, some of the challenges that we’ve been through aren’t honoured as part of the process, but I think your reflection does in fact honour the strength that it took to get here.
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Thanks. I’ve taken inventory before but it never felt right to say it. One year later, it makes sense now. How’s Dumplin and Mochi(s) doing tonight? I am so excited for you both.
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You seem very good at self-reflection, which I think is a deeper kind of wisdom that takes a lot of discipline and experience to hone. I admire you for it 🙂
Dumplin’ is good… Just truckin’ along. I feel a bit bad for Mochi(s) right now because DW has been swearing up a storm from all of this finger pain. She’s doing all of the right things- elevating, icing, releasing blood through a pinhole, but we think it must be broken because it hurts even more today. How’s your little one doing? Dumplin’ and Mochi(s) say hi to Baby B!
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Indeed.
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Congrats and best wishes down the home stretch.
I have one question. You said you wouldn’t change the last year. If you weren’t 32 weeks pregnant would you feel the same way?
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Ah that’s a great question. Can I even truly answer it? Looking back on the year before IVF, my husband always says he wishes we skipped IUI and went straight to IVF. Easy to say when we had success. If we weren’t pregnant, I don’t think I’d have any regrets as we would know more about of fertility situation and hopefully be gearing up to try again. If you asked me immediately following our loss, I would have also said I wouldn’t have changed it. As devastating as it was, it was reassuring to know we could get pregnant. Overall, I still think each step was necessary to get us where we are today on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. If I wasn’t 32 weeks pregnant, we still would have grown, learned and progressed – just in different areas/ways than we have now.
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Love this post and beautifully written. You have been on a hell of a journey and it will come full circle soon with the birth of your son:)
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I love that concept of coming full circle. Such a nice visualization.
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I love your ability to reflect so beautifully on all the aspects of your journey. My second round has failed today and reading this has helped. Goof luck.
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I’m so sorry. I just read your latest post and I have to say you have a very clear mindset for facing failed cycle. I love your video game analogy. Sending much love to you as you continue forward. ❤
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