Lessons learned from a weekend away

This weekend, my husband and I escaped city life and rented a cabin 3 hours north of us.

All I wanted for my upcoming birthday was a weekend away at a cabin that reminded me of Ontario cottage country. Living on the Prairies, most lakes around us aren’t surrounded by trees or look much like the cottages I was used to visiting as a child. We weren’t able to get a booking the weekend following my birthday, so we decided to go away two weekends before it.

My husband found the perfect place. Yes, I was very much impressed by his choice. We had a bachelor style cabin with a bed, two-piece bathroom, kitchen, dining and living area. The cabin featured a private deck where you could see the lake through the trees. There also was a private firepit and a bbq. We took the chihuahuas with us, but left the cat and our fish at home in the care of Mike’s Uncle.

Driving up there, I had a bit of a meltdown. I haven’t been living in the present moment much over the past few weeks. Family issues have been on my mind. My job is busy, yet dysfunctional. I’ve taken on freelance work that I probably shouldn’t have. Add pregnancy hormones to the mix and I was destined for a good cry. The ironic thing is: I don’t find myself worried about pregnancy-related issues right now. I’ve found a good balance there. It just seems to be everything else in life.

My husband and I talked a lot about the family issues. Both of our families love to live in avoidance and denial. This past year has made it even more clear to us. It’s hard to continuously set boundaries and not have them be respected. It’s hard when you communicate your feelings, yet no one acknowledges them. In the end, we both agree it’s sort of a lost cause. I promised my husband I would spend less time worrying about them.

When we arrived at the cabin, we realized that we did not have cell service. I actually saw this as a blessing in disguise. Especially since starting to work from home full-time, I’m constantly on my laptop or my cell phone. Online communication is my connection to the world beyond the four walls of my house. I was long overdue for a digital detox. I didn’t mind not having internet access over the weekend. It made me wonder if our need for constant information is really productive for us. I honestly think sometimes it doesn’t let us relax and turn our minds off. The night before we left, I realized I could get one bar of service when standing at the end of the dock, so I uploaded a few photos from our trip. All in all, I think a digital detox is required more often in my life.

Instead of going online, I chose to read a paperback book I had brought along with me. It was a true story about twin sisters separated at birth and how different their lives ended up being. Seeing the family dynamics in this book made me realize that every family is dysfunctional. I’m just glad that my husband and I can accept and laugh at the absurdity of our own families. If anything, we learn from them and hope these lessons will shape our approach to parenting.

I also realized that I am reactive these days. I tend to snap at my husband quite quickly if he isn’t listening or paying attention. He brought this to my attention and I made an effort to take a deep breath before being so bitchy. I think this realization will help me overall in my quest to be in the present moment. So much of what has bothered me lately does not need to be dealt with immediately. So often, there is a simple solution if I take the time to break the issue down into what really matters.

Quality over quantity was also a theme of the weekend. We were only gone for 2.5 days, but we made the most of it. This made me think a lot about the amount of people we have disconnected from over the past year. We’ve weeded out the people who were likely to drop off at some point and strengthened the true friendships that will last a lifetime. I have no regrets about the direction our life is moving in. Quality over quantity is a great approach to life. You spend time and energy on the people, behaviours and actions that mean that most to you.

Overall, the highlights of the weekend included eating smores, sitting around the fire, taking naps, swimming in the lake, sitting on the dock, and just enjoying the company of each other. I can’t wait to one day take our son away with us and share in those special moments with him. Life is too short to get wrapped up in daily chaos. Sometimes, a mini-vacation is all you need to reset your mind and get back on track. ❤