Yesterday, I got together with a good friend of mine for a soul art session. She is working towards her Soul Art Instructor certification. It was a lovely day filled with lots of insights and creative expression.
As we chatted, she stopped me and said, “Did you name your baby? You don’t have to refer to it as the loss around me. Refer to her by her name”.
I commonly say, “after our loss” or “after we lost the baby”.
I don’t often actually reference our daughter around people who refuse to acknowledge the fact that she died.
Am I protecting my heart or merely protecting theirs?
Deep down, I think it’s a combo of both. I don’t want to feel judged, nor is it comfortable to deal with awkward reactions from people.
Saying Emme’s name feels sacred. People don’t understand how I knew it was a girl or how connected I was to both of my children long before we conceived them. Sometimes it’s easier to not go there, than it is to try and explain…
Not everyone in my life can handle our pregnancy loss, but that’s their issue, not mine.
Being with my friend yesterday, reminded me of how fortunate I am to have friends who are so accepting and loving. I don’t know if my friend truly realizes how profound that moment was for me. I felt safe, comfortable and understood.
Most of all, I am so grateful that she is willing to say my daughter’s name with me. ❤
I will continue to surround myself with my tribe – the people in my life who get me – because I deserve that honour and my daughter does too.