How can saying a name mean so much?

Yesterday, I got together with a good friend of mine for a soul art session. She is working towards her Soul Art Instructor certification. It was a lovely day filled with lots of insights and creative expression.

As we chatted, she stopped me and said, “Did you name your baby? You don’t have to refer to it as the loss around me. Refer to her by her name”.

I commonly say, “after our loss” or “after we lost the baby”.

I don’t often actually reference our daughter around people who refuse to acknowledge the fact that she died.

Am I protecting my heart or merely protecting theirs?

Deep down, I think it’s a combo of both. I don’t want to feel judged, nor is it comfortable to deal with awkward reactions from people.

Saying Emme’s name feels sacred. People don’t understand how I knew it was a girl or how connected I was to both of my children long before we conceived them. Sometimes it’s easier to not go there, than it is to try and explain…

Not everyone in my life can handle our pregnancy loss, but that’s their issue, not mine.

Being with my friend yesterday, reminded me of how fortunate I am to have friends who are so accepting and loving. I don’t know if my friend truly realizes how profound that moment was for me. I felt safe, comfortable and understood.

Most of all, I am so grateful that she is willing to say my daughter’s name with me. ❤

I will continue to surround myself with my tribe – the people in my life who get me – because I deserve that honour and my daughter does too.


25 thoughts on “How can saying a name mean so much?

  1. What a special moment and even more special friend! She sounds like an Empath to me. I’m so glad this is the message you received from your visit. You are right, both you and your daughter deserve it!


  2. I’m so happy that you have people like this in your life. When I think of your first baby, I do think of Emme. I think because her spirit is all through your blog. I feel the same when we talk about Dumplin’ and refer to him as such with friends and family. I love when people refer to him by “name” lol. It’s still hard for me to talk about little Spark, but I hope that in time, I will share her spirit (and name) with the rest of the world too.


  3. Names are powerful and I love that you have people in real life who also use Emme’s name – both you and her deserve to have cherished and remembered and using her name is such a powerful connection to her. 🙂


  4. You have one amazing friend! We didn’t name any of our first 3 babies and while it weighs on me, I don’t think anyone else would refer to them anyways. I’m so glad that your friend is empathetic and sensitive to such a hard time in your life.


  5. Emme had a heartbeat that matched yours…she is loved and you should feel free to talk about her by name when you choose to do so! I am so happy for you that you were able to conceive again…please make sure to tell this little boy about Emme when he is old enough to understand!


  6. What a beautiful moment to share with your friend. Emme will live on forever and having special people like this share in the love and memory of your precious baby must mean so much! I’m so glad you are surrounded by so much love.


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