Facing fears during pregnancy after loss

Before we took our hypnobirthing classes, I was struggling with a lot of fear – about the upcoming anatomy scan, reaching viability, etc. Hitting 20 weeks was a huge milestone for me. This timing perfectly coincided with a hypnobirthing class on releasing fears. My husband and I both wrote down a list of anything that was bothering us and released each item through a visualization exercise.

On Monday night, we met with our doula to discuss our birth preferences. I prefer the term preferences because we all know that you can’t plan exactly how your labour and delivery will go.

I told her that my biggest outstanding fear is the potential for going overdue and resulting in a stillborn. I thought this fear might impact some of my birth preferences (i.e natural labour onset versus induction), but that I want to dig deeper into it and try to release it before I make a definite choice.

My doula was very reassuring that fears are a normal process of the journey. She reminded me of the statistics around gestational periods and how we can always use more natural ways to induce labour before seeking medical intervention.

My best friend is due to have her baby next week. She visited her OB this morning to discuss the possibility of induction.  She’s having regular monitoring to ensure that everything is ok.

I reminded her that she needs to trust her intuition. If she feels like anything is wrong, then she should go directly to the hospital. Then I realized, I need to listen to my own advice.

I am a highly intuitive Momma.

I believe that everything will be fine.

I believe that I can have the natural birth I desire if it’s my preference to do so.

I am grateful for every kick my little boy gives me as it reassures me that he’s alive in there.

I am excited to welcome him into our world.

So, I’ll continue facing my fears during this pregnancy after loss, trusting in the process and continually growing as the journey moves on.

fearconfront

What are your biggest fears? How are you dealing with them? 

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9 thoughts on “Facing fears during pregnancy after loss

  1. Pregnancy is both so exciting and so completely terrifying!! I struggle to talk about all of my fears because a lot of people close to me are actually kind of rude about it… “well, you asked for this!” “you can’t complain, with how badly you wanted this baby!” and so on. It’s like only women who get pregnant accidentally have the right to whine and be scared. People don’t realize that you so quickly get 100% absorbed in TTC that you pretty much just stop thinking about the “after.” Now that I’m here there are about a million things I think, jeeze, why didn’t I think of all this with all that TTC time I had?!

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  2. You are right, sticking with your mamma intuition is very important. It is the best thing we have going for us. Also, I love hose you use the word preferences. Such a good way to look at it:)

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  3. My biggest fear is also of still birth. A friend of mine from high school lost her baby Summer at 41 weeks this way. I hate the idea of a stillbirth. It literally has me shaking thinking of it right now. I don’t know how I can deal with this fear other than to just let it go… Not empower it anymore.

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  4. I like that – birth preferences. It’s so true. I’m not sure what my biggest fears are right now. I think at this point (15 weeks) it’s just a fear of not making it to the healthy baby in my arms point.

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  5. You are handling things so well. I had a lot of fear in the beginning and now that I’m closer to the end I’ve noticed a lot of my fears are creeping up on me again. Similar to you – I’m afraid of a still born, or something going very wrong during the delivery process.. Many things. I have a friend who recently had her rainbow baby and she’s been such a support in terms of sharing her struggles up through delivery and how she handled them. It’s been nice. I like the idea of positive thinking and re-learning to trust my body and how amazing it was designed to do this. HUGS!

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