On days like today I wonder why the fight is so hard? Why do we continuously have to stand up for ourselves, demand honour for our feelings, and recognition for our lost children?
My Mom told me to “get over it” again today.
as if my child doesn’t deserve a name.
She thought this new pregnancy and this new baby should be enough.
The child I lost wasn’t good enough?
She suggested I would experience serious psychological issues by hanging onto this. She said that grieving during this pregnancy wouldn’t be good for the baby that’s in my womb right now.
But the question is: what does she really know about pregnancy after loss, experiencing a miscarriage and dealing with years of infertility?
The answer: NOTHING.
I know I need to accept that she is not willing to understand, but it makes me angry that my voice, my concern, my fears, my worries and my struggle are so easily dismissed as not important.
Her reaction is why it’s important.
My baby lived even if it was for a short time. She will always be my 1st child, the older sister to her rainbow sibling on the way.
Nothing will ever change that. History can’t be rewritten.
Yes Mom, it’s in the past, but it defines who I am.
So the next time someone asks me how I’m doing or how many children I have, I won’t cover up my feelings or my story just for the sake of their comfort. My truth is the truth.
Besides, how comfortable do they think it was to live through this?
I believe that life is sacred.
I believe that my children – living or dead – deserve to be honoured in whichever way feels best to my husband and I.
I believe that we will find peace whenever we are ready, but there will always be a piece of us missing.
A child can not be replaced.