Combatting nausea and realizing fears

I finally got my Zofran refilled by my GP. Seeing her was a bit ironic as my OB is her Dad! She was super excited for us though. She gave me a 1 year refill (knowing I won’t need that much) and also one for Ranitidine (Zantac) to curb my heartburn. If you have the prescription, you can get it covered by your benefits instead of buying it over the counter.

So far, I’m feeling much better. I tried to skip my night time dose last night, but that proved to be a wrong decision. Things seem to work well if I take 1 pill at night and 1 pill at noon. I’ve realized that I need to stop being so stubborn and take the damn meds. I need some quality of life during this pregnancy. Self-care is important and in this case, taking the meds is caring for myself. This whole medicated versus natural debate keeps coming up in my life though.

In two weeks, my husband and I are starting hypnobirthing classes. I’ve always desired to have a natural birth. Although, I am open to an alternate birth plan if complications arise.

Last night, I had a bath and began to read the Hypnobirthing manual. A few chapters in, I realized that I have SO MUCH FEAR around medical intervention during birth. I have heard many stories lately about full episiotomies, vaccums, foreceps, etc. It almost seems more traumatizing when they intervene while a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth versus simply wheeling you in for a c-section.

I find this fear to be ironic as clearly medical intervention has been a good thing for us. Without it, we would not have conceived our children. As a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss, medical intervention also eases my worries. Every ultrasound and OB appointment gives me validation that my baby is ok.

Still, I long for some control on this journey. I desire one thing to go as I planned… Perhaps that’s the issue? Do I need to let go of ALL need to control?

Either way, I don’t have the answer. I hope to work through it and get to the root cause as we prepare for baby’s arrival.

I’m officially 16 weeks today. 🙂 ❤

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45 thoughts on “Combatting nausea and realizing fears

  1. I am having a hard time with the interventions as well. I personally don’t want my labor and birthing process altered in anyway unless there is medical necessity for either me or Luke. I think its a lot scarier when you have struggled too because you worked so hard to get to that point and at the end of it all you want is a healthy alive baby.

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    • No we don’t have one here 😦 and we also have a midwife shortage. I will discuss with my OB closer to baby’s arrival. I’m not even half way so obviously I’m thinking about it early. Hypnobirthing brought it all to the front of my mind.

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  2. Yeah, the whole exit plan scares me a bit, I must admit. I want to take the Hypnobirthing course too, but it’s so damn expensive here. I’m considering just buying the books and CD and doing my best. I’m interested in hearing what you think of the course and if it’s worth doing the in-class. Yay for 24 more weeks to go!

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  3. Now I hope you better understand my upset at needing a cesarean… 😦
    I actually felt pretty secure in saying no to unnecessary interventions when I had the MT bus vaginal delivery although I ended up choosing an epidural (too late to do any good and too stubborn to take my doula’s advice and get checked for dilation before demanding the epidural) and an episiotomy because after hard pushing for a long time it was clear to me I was not going to get the little one’s head out otherwise. I am way less happy about the current plan for a section because the hospital has rules I hate and can’t seem to get around (only one person with me, so no doula; screen required and up to on duty OB and anaesthesiologist if it can be lowered for birth, other annoying and dehumanizing sh*t like that). I feel more than afraid – I feel powerless. Maybe that’s part of what you’re sending too? I can’t remember if you’re hiring a doula… I thought so but my memory is crap these days between not sleeping and being so sick, sorry. If you haven’t thought about that yet I would strongly recommend a doula with considerable experience.

    I’m so glad you’re back on track with the meds for nausea and heartburn. Suffering through those sucks!

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      • That’s a very good question. Especially considering I’m birthing at the women’s hospital, it seems draconian. I learned from experience that getting my OB’s blessing for exceptions is irrelevant if he’s not the one attending my delivery. But I’m going to ask anyway because (a) what’s the alternative and (b) if all goes to plan he will be the one doing my surgery (or hopefully induction). It helped me to talk about my choices and birth plan options with my doula and then to rank what were lines in the sand for me versus things about which I could be flexible if need be. Vacuum and forceps were big red flags for me because of my medical malpractice defence experience at the time. But a c section was less dismaying if it was the alternative to prying baby out of my birth canal. Everyone needs to come to their own conclusions. Do you have some books on options already? I can send you the ones I read if you like? If you email me what you’ve already read I can send what I have that isn’t duplicitous. I won’t be reading them again now and you have plenty of time. 🙂

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  4. I honestly don’t have the answer because everyone is so different. I will say that not having a birth plan has taken a lot of fear and worry from me. I’m going in with a “what happens happens” sort of mentality, but I think you have to really trust your doctor to do that (which I hope you do anyway-no matter how you decide to labor).

    Again, everyone is different, but not trying to control it has taken a lot of weight off of me.

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  5. It is good you have time to look through your options, learn what you can and hopefully come to peace with whatever you need to. I went into labor and delivery with the mindset of “get the baby out healthy and if possible, I’d like it without mediation”. In the end, there wasn’t time for any sort of intervention (except for a sterile water injection the first time), during both labors and deliveries. I did have a tear both times, not as bad the second time. While the stitches aren’t fun they aren’t that bad. *hugs*

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  6. It is good you have time to look through your options, learn what you can and hopefully come to peace with whatever you need to. I went into labor and delivery with the mindset of “get the baby out healthy and if possible, I’d like it without mediation”. In the end, there wasn’t time for any sort of intervention (except for a sterile water injection the first time), during both labors and deliveries. I did have a tear both times, not as bad the second time. While the stitches aren’t fun they aren’t that bad. *hugs*

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  7. Yay 16 weeks! Where has the time gone?? I’m interested in reading more about your birth plan. I am having a planned c-section so truth be told I have not bothered reading anything about vaginal birth interventions, but damn that all sounds super scary.

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  8. Oh, man, I recognize a lot of my own thoughts in this! I love science and medicine, because they gave us our dear baby, but I wanted nothing to do with it when it came to childbirth. I also took the at home hypnobirthing class! I don’t think you have to let go all control to get rid of the fear. For me, it helped to hire a doula, and to go over my fears and desires with my OB and the labor and delivery staff. Plan (as much as you can plan) for every possible outcome, no matter how awful. My original plan was for medication-free, but included a plan for emergency c-section, and a plan for stillbirth. I know. No one wants to think about that, but it’s important to have your wishes known. When I found out my baby was breech and I had to have a c-section, I adjusted my plan, and was still able to have many of my requests honored. Even though it wasn’t my first choice, I still called most of the shots.

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