I’ve always been a big believer in promoting awareness for infertility and pregnancy loss. From Day 1, I’ve been open about our journey with family, friends and even on social media.
I’ve had people say things to me like, “I think you make people feel awkward when you post about infertility. Maybe you just shouldn’t say anything?” to “You are too sensitive” in response to me being upset about inappropriate comments after the loss of our baby.
In the past week, I’ve had 3 different people – 1 distant friend, 1 local friend and 1 co-worker – open up to me about their struggles with infertility. Had I not been open about our journey, who would these people have turned to?
I’ve been struggling lately accepting positivity from people who were not necessarily supportive over the past year or so. As much as it’s nice that people “hope I don’t feel sick for long” and “are so excited that we are expecting“, I shut down when they say these things to me. I’m still overcoming my fears and protecting my heart. As much as I should accept positivity from others, I have some pent up anger and frustration around how much “they don’t get it”.
Last night, I realized that I have been feeling alone lately. I’ve been silently battling pregnancy sickness, pregnancy after loss and some PTSD following years of infertility struggles. I keep telling myself that my excitement about this pregnancy will grow stronger as my belly grows and my baby begins to move.
Pregnancy and work demands have taken away my drive to write, but it’s through writing and reaching out to this online community that I realize: I am never alone. There is always someone who has been down this path before me, who understands exactly how I’m feeling – whether that be emotionally or physically.
Whenever I am worried, confused, needing advice or even just a kind ear to listen, I can always reach out to my infertility and pregnancy loss friends. For without sharing my story, I would have never met such amazing people who are always willing to be there for you.
This was a HUGE realization for me. Sometimes we need to stop fighting the urge to make our friends and family support us, and simply turn to those who do it with such ease. ❤