The truth about being sick during pregnancy

I know every infertile who has yet to conceive HATES those who have crossed over to become annoying, complaining pregos.

Well, the truth is: I am one of them.

I am feeling broken down. I worked so hard for years while trying to conceive to eat healthy, get my insides working properly and balance my system.

Now, I feel like a pile of shit.

No one tells you that during pregnancy:

  • Morning sickness really means all day sickness and often lasts beyond 1st trimester
  • You will pee yourself
  • Pulling poop chunks out of your bum is nothing to be ashamed of
  • Food is your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time
  • Heartburn is uncontrollable
  • You will never sleep through the night again

At 14.5 weeks pregnant, my sickness has yet to subside. A full dose of Zofran does curb the all day nausea, but I still puke. Don’t even get me started on how well I do with flying (which unfortunately I seem to be doing a lot of lately due to my job). I stole a puke bag from my flight on Friday night and hurled my guts out on the drive home from the airport… which also lead to peeing myself. My body lost control with the consistent heaving. Needless to say, I’m glad to have leather seats and my husband deserves an award for wiping up my piss.

I am taking 2 stool softeners daily to combat the constipation from Zofran, yet I still find myself struggling to push hard marbles out of my ass. I long for the day when it easily slides out again.

My definition of a meal has completely transformed. I used to enjoy food, but now I have to choke down 1 piece of pizza – my former favourite treat. I eat probably 1/4 of what I used to eat per meal. I try to load up on fresh fruits and cold vegetables as much as possible. Fortunately, I’m still craving fruit.

I have immense heartburn that Tums and Gaviscon barely touches (I plan to ask my OB for another remedy). I toss and turn all night long from a mixture of heartburn and the need to pee. I guess this is preparing me for being up with baby, but I haven’t slept through the night since I found out I am pregnant. My shoulders and lower back ache from trying to sleep on my left side – a pregnancy recommendation, but also a good step to combat the heartburn.

I’ve decided to toss the Snoogle aside for a few nights of cuddling. I miss my husband. Having a huge body pillow in between us does not do much for intimacy.

I’m lucky in the sense that I do have glowing skin, but morning nausea means no drive to “get ready”. Curly hair or a pony-tail, no make-up and sweats is my usual style these days when I’m not travelling for work.

I can’t do as much as I used to. Visiting 3 stores yesterday resulted in a puking episode. My husband insisted we had done enough and I come home to rest.

Most days I just want to curl up in a ball and pray that my symptoms subside. I’ve gone from a slightly crunchy all natural person to someone who medicates because, without it, there is no relief. No matter what, I still have a job to do, a house to maintain, and a life to live.

As much as I know “it will all be worth it”, that statement really did not sink in for me until recently. Another IVF friend, who had her baby 1 month ago and was equally as sick as me, stressed the importance of how she would do it all over again in a second. I just need to keep reminding myself that I will forget all about the pains of pregnancy once my baby is in my arms.

Our road to baby has been far from straight and narrow. So, I’m sending it out to the universe that I desire a quick, natural birth. And I damn well think I deserve it.

pregnancycrap

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29 thoughts on “The truth about being sick during pregnancy

  1. Oh man, can I relate to you! I’m 15 weeks, still puking my guts out, still unable to enjoy food consistently, and since I’m pregnant with twins, my back and ribs are already aching like crazy. I take two diclegis at night and that does help me sleep and eat breakfast, but by the late afternoon I’m nauseous again and may need Zofran to help me keep dinner down. Zofran either causes severe diharrea or extreme constapation. Only if I keep it to half (or only 2mg) can I avoid those side effects. The constipation is the worst. It is so painful and makes my nausea worse. When I stand up fast (which is always), I get a rush to my head and a brief but throbbing headache. I’m a mess. But I’m so happy at the same time that my body seems to be crashing down. Pregnancy is rough, it is weird, it’s miraculous, and it’s just plain crazy right now. I have a feeling the next 5 months are going to be incredibly painful. I dont know if I can go through it again after this. Ideally, I want one more, but if I had to go through another twin pregnancy….? Remember, we just transferred one and the embryo split. But I do believe that after I see my girls’ faces, it will all fade away and I’ll forget completely. I hope things get better for you (and I), at least on the nausea side of things. As for the heartburn, my doctor just recommended I try Nexium 24 hour over the counter, one a day for the next week. She said it was a life saver for her in both her pregnancies and it curbed both her heartburn and nausea. I’ll try it out and let you know how it works.

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    • I have mad respect for you. After seeing how my body reacts to a singleton pregnancy, I’m relieved (as bad as that sounds) that we didn’t have twins. Please do let me know how it works! I love our community. I don’t know what I’d do without all the support and suggestions.

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  2. Pregnancy can be really hard. I’m sorry you have things to complain about, but don’t be sorry for complaining! The best thing for my heartburn was baking soda in water. I know you can’t do too much because it messes with the pH of your stomach, but it might be worth asking your ob. Good luck!

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  3. I’m going to repost this cause it sums up most of my feelings the first trimester. I’m not sure if your doing Miralax but it does the trick for me, sometimes too quickly and too well, but it’s better than straining. Welcome to the pee yourself club, it sucks! 😔complain away darling! Anyone who doesn’t want to hear it won’t read it anyway! Xoxoxox

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  4. Like you, I cannot believe how terrible I feel. I was just about to write a post describing my experience flying on business last week – not too different from yours. I really try not to complain, mostly I just remind myself how much WORSE the alternative feels. I’d trade this pukiness over the depression I was in after my 2nd miscarriage any day.

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    • I look forward to reading about your experience. I have another trip coming up, but I’m trying to put it off for another 3-4 weeks. You bring up a great point. I’ll take this sickness over my recovery from my ectopic anyday.

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  5. You poor thing! I forgot how miserable the pukey but was! The constipation bit though 😁 ouch! While I was on strict bedrest I ended up taking stool softeners, Metamucil AND lactulose everyday in a vague effort to try and keep on keeping on 😳
    I hope you wake up into the dawn of a new refreshed era of pregnancy soon but in the meantime give your tummy a rub from me x

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  6. Yes. Been on both sides of this, the infertile hating pregnant complainers and the pregnant complainer with severe morning sickness. Just gotta remember that HG is not just any old morning sickness it is a serious illness. Your experience is far from normal and you are not like most of those complainers, your complaints are justified. I longed to be pregnant and I hated every minute of it. I’ll not be doing it again. Means to an end though. Me and the baby are frickin warriors.

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  7. It used to be that every time I complained about something pregnancy-related, my wife says, “You wanted this.” Yeah–well it doesn’t mean I have to LIKE it! (Fortunately, she has picked up on my death stares and has mostly stopped saying that.) Just because we are sick and uncomfortable and bloated and miserable does not mean we aren’t over-the-moon grateful to be pregnant. I really hope you get some relief over the coming weeks, but even if you don’t, your ability to tolerate the misery will improve once you can cuddle up to your belly in bed and feel your baby kicking away. And I totally feel you on the pregnancy pillow cuddling interference. I wish there was a way to have both simultaneously! Some nights, I really miss my wife but I don’t want to give up the pillow.

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  8. Pooy, I hope you get relief soon. My relief didn’t come until about 16 weeks. Then returned recently with just nausea all day. Lame sauce. SOO hoping that you wake up refreshed soon and not sick! It’s the worst, seriously.

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  9. My nausea came back too, but not as bad as yours. I am eating normally, but feeling nauseous still (no puking). I’m sorry about the GI issues. I had heartburn last pregnancy, and it was awful. I think it might be the worst pregnancy symptom ever. Hang in there hun. I hope your symptoms subside soon, so you can enjoy life again.

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  10. So sorry you’re having a rough time!!! Zofran made me nearly have to take a trip to the ER because of extreme constipation! It was horrible. Once I stopped Zofran (around week 16) everything went back to normal. I have reflux as well and find that Nexium is my best friend (Dr said it was safe to take as well). Hope you start to find some relief! In the meantime, complain away! It will all be worth it in the end 🙂

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  11. I think your post nails the pregnancy after infertility thing to a t! I’m a complainer too (lol) and am finally getting to the point where I feel it’s ok to vent at times. Fertiles get to do it so we should be able to as well! Zofran did nothing for me, so I tried compazine, atarax, ph emerging and some other meds. Phenergan is the highest up the nausea food chain but I found it the most helpful although I still puke on the regular 26 weeks in. I bet you are pretty sick of hearing how it will go away. I know I was…..but we all know that it might not. I sincerely hope that yours does go away because puking that hard for so long really messes a person up! Hugs to you

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  12. Pregnancy after infertility at any level is like a mild PTSD. On the one hand, you’re so overwhelmed and excited you finally got here. On the other hand, your heart still breaks for the people you’ve “left behind” and you still feel such a heightened awareness of the grief you used to feel. You don’t want to say or do anything that makes it seem like you’re ungrateful or that would have pissed you off before you got the double lines. I also have this irrational fear that if I complain about any symptom my little bean will be taken away from me or something. Even after pregnancy, you never stop being “an infertile.” That trauma is always with you. I hope your symptoms ease up as you work your way further into the second trimester!

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  13. Pingback: Are things actually looking up? | Awaiting Autumn

  14. I totally understand you! I am 9w5days and have been dealing with ‘morning sickness’ for quite a few weeks. Although it doesn’t seem to be as bad as yours I still relate to feeling like crap when I should be feeling great. Here is hoping your morning sickness disappears soon!

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