Surviving. Thriving. Doing what it takes to move forward each day. Here are my tips for how to face another pregnancy after a loss:
Ditch the symptom spotting and pregnancy comparing
Symptom spotting is the biggest cycle of chaos you can fall into. Symptoms can change on a daily, even hourly basis. Don’t waste your days dwelling on every twitch, itch, and pain. Comparing your pregnancies is useless. It will do nothing but create anxiety. These are two separate pregnancies, two separate babies, two completely different experiences.
Embrace this experience. Allow yourself to acknowledge the differences, but don’t let them overwhelm you. Recognize and release.
Tame the fear
The biggest battle a mother has to face during pregnancy after loss is fear. Get the biggest stick imaginable and beat that fear out of your mind, out of your house, out of your city, out of this universe! Understand that it will probably creep back in, but know that you have the power, the strength and the tools to tame the fear if it returns.
Follow your intuition
I believe in a mother’s intuition. I believe in a woman’s intuition. You ultimately know your mind and body better than anyone else. If your gut tells you something is wrong, follow through with it. Make that doctor’s appointment. Go to the ER. Be an advocate for yourself and your baby.
Even if you just need this one extra appointment to help fight back the fear, that’s ok. Loosing your previous pregnancy was traumatic. Sometimes just hearing that OB say, “everything is fine”, is enough to calm your nerves and bring back the hope. Be mindful that you only have a few “special treatment” passes to use. Ensure it’s intuition you are going on and not fear.
Develop a self-care practice
During pregnancy, you need to focus on total mind-body health. Maintaining a healthy physical, mental and emotional state will help you face each day with a more positive outlook. Recognize what helps to bring you back to a place of calmness a midst the chaos of the unknown. Take the time you need to safely return to yourself.
Don’t let everything pregnancy overwhelm you. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Whether that’s meditation, yoga, or a quick walk in the park, set aside some daily time to reconnect.
Trust and believe
Acknowledge all of the positives of this pregnancy. Set small milestones. Celebrate each time you reach one.
Let your guard down and connect with your child. Place a hand over your belly and another over your heart. Take 3 deep breaths. Imagine sending love from your heart to your womb. Let your baby know how welcome, how wanted, how loved it already is.
Relax. Trust. Believe.
You are a mother. Your baby is on their way to you now.