My intentions for this weekend were:
- to distract my mind from Monday’s beta results
- to be gentle with myself and do what my mind/body needs
- to feel peace and love
It’s been fairly easy to stay in neutral territory this weekend. We’ve kept ourselves busy and I’ve stayed off the internet as much as possible.
Friday night, my husband called his Aunt and asked if we could come for supper. Whenever we are both anxious or stressed (especially after waiting all day to receive Beta #1), we don’t feel like cooking. Rather than getting take out, we went for a home-cooked meal with people who support us. We didn’t stay out too late as I’ve been exhausted lately. I was in bed by 9pm which is very unlike me. I clearly needed it, so I went with it.
We had a funeral yesterday for my husband’s best friend’s dad. I seriously contemplated not going as I wasn’t sure I wanted to be around sorrow. I decided that I should go to support my husband. It also was a good opportunity to practice love and forgiveness. I made sure to protect myself before I left and brought a few crystals along to help. Throughout the ceremony, I sent reiki to those that seemed to be suffering the most. I honestly didn’t feel much sorrow (thank goodness!) until we went to the grave site. My mother-in-law and father-in-law were both crying. It was a very enlightening moment to see them express such emotion (as my husband comes from a family that rarely shows emotion). Overall, I had a decent day visiting with friends and family. It really made the value of family obvious to me. A man died who left behind the legacy of his family. I hope that one day I have children and grand-children who have such fond memories of me.
Today, I had a chick flick marathon since cable TV is crawling with them leading up to Valentine’s Day. I also played a game on my phone that I downloaded after so many of you suggested it would be a good distraction. Boy were you right! I’m currently building a butterfly colony. Figured it would maybe give me good vibes since the butterfly is a symbol of fertility. 🙂
I haven’t let myself get excited, but I continue to acknowledge my baby(ies?). I’ve been connecting my heart to my womb and sending my babies love. Over the past few weeks, I’ve realized I can be connected to my babies without being as emotionally attached as I was before we lost our little girl.
This whole process has really given me an opportunity feel how different it is when you take thing as them come.
One of my best friends said to me, “It’s out of your control now“.
She’s undoubtedly right.
What will be will be.
Tomorrow will give us a better idea.
I’m glad I’ve been able to find a sense of calm this weekend as we move through our wait. One day at a time…
I love the sense of peace and calmness in your post. You are doing great Lindsey.
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I am sorry for the loss of such an important person in your extended family.
I am really thrilled that throughout everything this weekend you have been able to hold onto a sense of calm. Sending you good vibes for your next beta!!
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You sound so calm and positive, that can only be a good thing for you and your little one(s). I’m really really hoping for good news for you tomorrow, lots of love xxx
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One day at a time indeed and your doing that beautifully! I’m so sorry about the loss in your family 😦 I think of you daily and have been sending positivity to you and the baby(ies) too. I still have such a hopeful feeling about tomorrow’s results for you!
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I’m happy that you’ve been able to stay pretty peaceful this weekend! Sending the most positive vibes in the world your way for your next beta!
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One day at a time… sending you love and strength.. Fingers and toes crossed for you ❤
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Good luck today!!!
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Good luck!! I can’t wait to hear the results!
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Wise and peaceful choices for your weekend.
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Pineapples lots an lots…don’t care much for it now but the days leading up to my betas i ravished in pineapples…Hold d Faith sweetie I’m praying for you
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