The Comprehensive List of Infertility Jokes

I know I could use a brain break today. If you could too, check out this list of infertility jokes from A Father in Phoenix.

A Father in Phoenix:

I’m not going to claim that any of these jokes are mine. I stole them from here, here, here and here. Thanks to those websites for putting these lists together. The fact is that infertility isn’t funny, and it will never be funny. But, for all of us having to deal with this shit, we have to make the best out of it, which is where these jokes from come. So, enjoy, take your mind off of things for a minute, and hopefully have a laugh.



ivf-checklist Personal favorite of mine

Thanks for the infertility advice! I feel much better now that I know God's will for me to be depressed, broke, and physically screwed up. I think I'll 'just adopt!'When you say everything happens for a reason, don't be surprised when I slap you in the face. It happened for a reason.

Oh, it took you two whole months to get pregnant? Boo frickity hoo.

I apologize for the shit I said to you while I was on clomid.

IVF: Taking the fun out of procreation since 1978.

Is it a full moon? No, she's on fertility drugs.

On my honor I will try to not slap the next pregnant woman I see complaining about how much it sucks to be pregnant.

Thanks for telling me to just have sex if I want to get pregnant. I've spent thousands on fertility treatments and never thought of that.

I'm on clomid. What's your bullshit excuse?

Yes, honey. Of course I think giving you two-inch needle injections into your butt muscle every night is sexy.

Nope. Still not pregnant but thanks for pointing out how fat I've gotten.

I hear he's IVF. Like way wanted.

Ryan Gosling: Hey girl, let's increase the fertility rate.


  1. How does an RE like his eggs?
    Over 20mm!
  2. Why did the RE cross the road?
    Because there was an affluent, infertile woman in her 30s on the other side.
  3. Why does it take 50 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    Because they won’t ask for directions either!
  4. Two sperm were swimming through a woman’s body.

View original post 2,445 more words


23 thoughts on “The Comprehensive List of Infertility Jokes

  1. My mom and my brother in law were talking with me about me finally “getting pregnant” as if this is the only time I have and both agreed in front of me and told me “it’s cause you finally just relaxed”. I blew fire at them and it didn’t take long for both to realize what they said was dumb. People!


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