5dp5dt: symptom check-in

Wow. My emotions have been flying high.

I cried myself to sleep Friday night and had a major meltdown on my husband Saturday morning. It was like hope had been sucked from my me. I kept telling him I should have symptoms by now and that it must not have worked. He kept telling me to relax and give it a few days, but my irrational, emotional mind wouldn’t listen.

When I finally got my shit together, we ran some errands, then went for supper at my husband’s Aunt and Uncle’s house. After supper, we went to a friend’s to play games. Once again, I had a good time, lots of laughs and no alcohol. I can honestly say that I don’t miss drinking.

Getting out of the house yesterday was the best thing I could do for myself. I worked from home on Friday and being alone all day – even if I was distracting myself with work – just gave my mind too many opportunities to ponder our current situation. We also declined an invitation to visit with friends on Friday night and instead, stayed in to watch Netflix. Lesson learned: when I’m feeling highly volatile, I need to surround myself with my support people to regain my balance.

As for symptoms, this is where I’m at:

  • Cramping during 1-2dpt (no implantation spotting though)
  • Bloatedness that comes and goes; a sense of fullness in my womb
  • Slightly sore boobs (an increase since yesterday though)
  • My nails are harder. I noticed this during my last pregnancy.
  • Chest/back acne – this one is gross! Yesterday morning my chest, back and shoulder broke out in tiny little zits. YUCK! I don’t normally have acne. This is very odd for me.

I keep reminding myself that I can not compare this cycle to last as too many variables are different. I have no fake HCG in my system. Besides Estrace, Prometrium and PIO, my body is doing all the work on it’s own.

I think my breakdown yesterday was most likely hormonal, but also a bit of a protection mechanism. Less connected = less hurt? Well, I know that is a farce. It’s hard no matter what. Last time, I was so connected that I was crushed when we found out our pregnancy was an ectopic. Leading up to our FET, I did lots of visualization exercises, but I haven’t let myself get as connected to these spirit babies. It eases my anxiety to keep myself at arms length right now. I will grow my relationship with these babies when the time feels right.

I’m still staying strong and keeping away from the pee sticks. My goal remains to make it to 8dp5dt – this Wednesday. 3 days to go… Wish me luck. XO

happyending

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26 thoughts on “5dp5dt: symptom check-in

  1. I didn’t have real pregnancy symptoms until a few weeks into the pregnancy after the pregnancy had already been confirmed. I think I was around 6 weeks pregnant when the awful morning (aka all day sickness) sickness began…hang in there and I wouldn’t pee on a stick before your beta…maybe less anxiety? It worked for me somehow…I’m so rooting for you! Hang in there whatever may come and take one day at a time…even when your pregnant there are so many stages where you’ll become anxious…been there done that…hoping for a happy ending for you!

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  2. I think you should wait until the beta. It’s just a few more days, and a home preg test could be wrong with all those drugs still in your system. But if you do test on Wednesday, let us know! I’m wishing you all the best.

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  3. You have all my empathy my friend. I am very impressed you are holding out. I would be testing. I have a good feeling however… The emotions are so tough. So much at stake. So many hormones. Such vulnerability. Of course we feel and act mad. Glad it doesn’t sound like you are beating yourself up for that. Hang in… Almost there. I am so so so hopeful.

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  4. Sending you love and wishing you the best over the next few days. One thing I can tell you is that with every pregnancy I’ve had the symptoms have all been different, so try not to drive yourself to crazy symptom spotting. 🙂

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  5. I didn’t have a lot of symptoms, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. You are in my thoughts and I am wishing you all the very best! You deserve it! ❤

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  6. I know how hard this cycle must be for you and no one saying “do t symptom spot” will help. However, I can reply you that this pregnancy fore in the very early days was so very different than the others. The only symptom I had that I didn’t feel was progesterone related was a small bout of nausea around 8dpo. All my symptoms started after I got my BFP. I have a very strong feeling this will be good news for you though! I’m anxious waiting with you! Know you can text me if ever you need to vent! XO

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  7. Argh! You’ve been on my mind over the past few weeks I’ve been on a blog break. I’m glad that things are moving along.

    Symptom spotting is so annoying… you can’t help yourself even if rationally you know this is a losing game. During my TWW after IVF, I did the only thing I could think of to distract myself- I knit an infinity scarf (which I secretly call my infertility scarf. Har, har, har.)

    Keep your mind focused on a goal that had nothing to do with your uterus. Best advice I’ve got!

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  8. I KNOW THE FEELING I AM 12DPIUI AND DID A HPT THIS MORNING AND WAS NEGATIVE. IS THERE STILL A CHANCE? I HAD MY IUI DONE TWO DAYS BACK TO BACK ON 1/20 & 1/21. IS IT TOO SOON TO GO BY THAT, I HAVE MY BLOOD WORK SCHEDULED ON THURSDAY BUT THIS WAIT IS HORRIBLE! I AM ON PROGESTERONE AS WELL AND KNOW THAT DELAYS MY AF. IS A HORRIBLE THING WAITING FOR THIS TO GIVE YOU AN ANSWER

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