Reflections on Christmas

I made it through this holiday season in brighter spirits than I thought I would.

I woke up from my anxiety-ridden mindset and remembered how horrible Christmas was last year. Not wanting this to become a trend, I set the intention to make this year’s Christmas about love.

And I felt it. ❤

This year wasn’t about extravagant gifts, indulging in too many goodies, or playing the “put on a fake happy face” game. It was about being present and finding peace in the moment.

The highlights of my Christmas include:

  • Hanging my lil’ Peanut on the tree and surrounding her with Angels and football ornaments… clearly that was her Dad! 🙂 
  • Taking my niece to see Max & Ruby’s Nutcracker Christmas at a local theatre
  • Building Megabloks towers with my nephew
  • Sharing stories and having a few good laughs with my husband’s aunts & uncles
  • Volunteering my time at the Reiki share
  • My husband calling our niece on Christmas morning to wish her a Merry Christmas. Beautiful, yet heart wrenching at the same time 
  • Hearing my Mother-in-law sincerely say, “I hope to have another grandchild on the way soon“. This made me realize she does care even if she struggles with how to show it
  • Heartfelt gifts that showed how much those close to me actually do know me. I am so grateful for each and every gift I received this year.
  • Enjoying quiet time with my family – my husband, the chis and our ragdoll

It was our baby girl’s first Christmas in Heaven, yet I managed to have a legit smile on my face. That doesn’t mean my baby girl wasn’t on my mind. It just means that I chose to change my perspective. I chose to turn to love instead of sorrow.

The past few months have been filled with too much darkness. I didn’t want our first Christmas without our baby to feel sad, angry and hopeless.

Instead, it felt perfect.

I will forever cherish this Christmas.



I miss you baby Emme. XO


12 thoughts on “Reflections on Christmas

  1. I am so glad everything turned out the way it did for you! I just love that orniment! and surrounding it with angels, very nice. My hope for all of the TTC sisters out there, that this next year will be your year.


  2. Im glad you chose to make this christmas count and be as happy and hopeful as possible. I too decided the same thing, i just kept reminding myself that i have a wonderful loving family and that i needed to be greatful for that!


    • We bought the ornament before our transfer. My husband was cautious when I picked it out, but I knew we would need it – one way or another. I’ve been thinking a lot about your writings lately Justine. You are a true inspiration to me. ❤


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