Merry Christmas Eve

Today was lovely. I volunteered again at Reiki Christmas where we offer free reiki to those experiencing physical or emotional pain during the holidays. Last year featured lots of sadness. This year featured anger. It’s funny how these things relate to your own life.

I have carried around anger and resentment towards my in-laws for years now. Even though I’m working on having zero expectations of them,  I’ve realized that hanging onto my hurt truly only hurts me.

I made it through last weekend’s In-law Christmas Extravaganza fairly unscathed. A few odd remarks were made here and there, but I let them slide. Right now,  I’m focused on letting go and letting it flow.

The biggest reasons for the season that have resonated with me this year are Christmas is about love and prescence,  not presents.

So, I called my mother-in-law and invited them to come for brunch on Christmas Day. I hope this step is a positive move even if I am trying hard to not succumb to those darn expectations.

I’m surprised at how well I am actually handling this Christmas. It was top on my list of ocassions I was dreading following our pregnancy loss.

I have to attribute much of my happiness to my husband. He has made a sincere effort to make this Christmas special for me. First, he bought me the angel. Then,  he gave me a diamond necklace from a collection called ”Heartbeats”. He said it was so I could always have our baby’s heartbeat with me. The diamond is suspended in a tear drop shape and moves slightly with your own heartbeat or breath.

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The amount of thought he put into these gifts is profound. I am so proud of him. I am so blessed to be his wife.

Tonight,  we opened our gifts, ate Chinese food (yes I know that wasn’t entirely sticking to my diet but it was msg-free) and watched Millionaire Matchmaker. I am not normally a reality TV fan; however, we needed something to take our mind off everything. Plus, I was tired from my afternoon of energy healing.

I’m looking forward to having 4 days in a row at home with my husband and my fur-babies. I hope that you get to enjoy time with your loved ones too.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!!!

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