Over the past few months, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on infertility and pregnancy loss.
- How someone can get knocked up without even the slightest desire to have a child?
- Why it only takes some people one round of clomid and others 3 rounds of IVF?
- Why some people have multiple children they don’t and can’t care for when some of us have trouble maintaining a pregnancy long enough for society to recognize it?
- How much can I endure before I crumble? When and where is my breaking point?
- Why does it seem so easy for some and so unbearably difficult for others?
This past week, I have been blessed to see two fertility sisters give birth to their precious miracles, and another conceive on her first IVF round. The world can’t be such a bad place – right?
Then, I found out another fertility sister had her 2nd fresh IVF cycle cancelled due to treatment failure. Pure and utter disappointment.
AND THEN, tonight I saw that Kristy from Conceive A Baby lost her Pacey at 11 weeks. Kristy conceived on their 1st IVF cycle. At 4 weeks pregnant – before she even knew that she was pregnant – Kristy lost her beloved husband Royce in a car accident. Widowed and childless. My God. The tears fell as I watched her heartbreaking video.
Life is unpredictable, and often unprecedented. Kristy’s story is unfathomable. Yet… it happened.
Women like Kristy – who have journeyed so much farther than me – are the ones who encourage me to keep going.
Throughout her nightmare, Kristy has shown strength like no other. She attributes her drive to other people’s kindness, compassion, and most of all, love.
Kristy says, “Love can spur on anyone. It makes us believe. It gives us hope. It gives us purpose. It gives us strength.”
That is truly what it all comes down to. In those moments of despair, love keeps you going.
Love for your partner, for your unborn children and for yourself.
Love from your family, from your friends, and especially from the infertility community.
I know that love will hold me up because I’m not ready to give up.
I can and will endure.
I can and will overcome these struggles.
I can and will remain strong.
I love and I am loved.
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Kristy – I am so sorry for your losses. I know Royce is holding your baby in his arms right now. You gave him the best gift anyone ever could have. You made him a Daddy and that is something that will never be taken away from you. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being you. Sending you much love and light. XO
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