This weekend was a mix of ups and downs. I had 2 major cry sessions each day, but I was grateful that my one friend and my husband’s Aunt and Uncle popped by to keep me distracted.
My Aunt also brought a butterfly cross-stitch pattern for me to do. She thought I could use something to keep my hands busy and keep me off the internet (clearly she knows me too well).
I called in sick today after I got this morning’s blood work done. I was exhausted, but I think it was more emotional exhaustion than anything else.
I slept from 10 am – 2 pm.
I woke up and made chilli for my supper even though my husband won’t be home from the field until after 9pm tonight.
I watched a movie and chatted with a fertility friend who is always so good to keep me distracted on testing days. 🙂
Today’s results are 555.
The doubling time is 92.2.
I got the “sweet” nurse today. Poor thing. I totally broke down on her when she told me the results. The clinic is still thinking ectopic. She said to stay on my meds and go again for blood work on Wednesday. They hope to be able to tell me more then.
Ugh! Why am I stuck in this beta hell? Because it’s truly hell once you’re on your 7th blood draw and have no clue which way you are headed.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to stay on my meds.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me in some way or another during this difficult time.
I appreciate your support more than words can ever explain. XOXO
Awaiting Autumn 
I’m so sorry you still have no answers. How stressful to just keep going day to day not knowing what’s going on within your body. Hope they can give you some real answers Wednesday. *hugs*
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I don’t know much about beta’s although I am sure I will soon enough, but ever since you did you transfer I have hoped and prayed that the little bean would stick. Call it a gut feeling but I still am hopefull for you! xox
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Thank you for that. I have had lots of people with the same feeling. We can only hope to be a miracle story in the end.
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I’m so sorry. Thinking of you. Xx
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Oh that suuuuucks. What the hell are they waiting for–it seems like they could DO something. How do they diagnose an ectopic besides with betas? I feel for you! *hugs* XOXO
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Ultrasound but I need to hit 1000 first.
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Gah. Dammit.
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Ugh! Can’t believe they can’t give you any answers by now! Hang in there… ❤
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You’re beyond patient and I am beyond proud of how well you’re holding it together x squeeze x
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I am so, so, so, so very sorry!!! I’m glad you stayed on your meds. and tested again. My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you as you continue on this journey! If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask! ❤ HUGS!!!!
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So sorry you’re in beta hell. Really hope that this will be sorted out very soon. ❤
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Oh this is so hard! I’m so very sorry that you ate stuck in this limbo. I will wish time to pass quickly and peacefully for you.
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Ugh! I’m so sorry you are still in beta limbo. Hoping and praying a miracle occurs!! Hugs and Lots of Love!!!!
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Oh, I am sorry. What the efffffff. Ugh. This really, really sucks. I’ve been thinking about you a lot these last few days and hoping you’re ok. I’m still holding out hope that this will all turn around.
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Oh my goodness! The agony! I am so sorry sugars! Praying! Praying! Praying!
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I’m praying for a doubling raise so they can finally do an ultrasound! Ugh. This has been the truest test of my patience.
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Ugh limbo is just the hardest place to be! You must be so frustrated. So many positive, calming, healing, sticking thoughts are headed your way right now.
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I am so sorry you still do not have answers Lindsey! I know nothing will take away your anxiety; nothing will make the waiting easier; nothing will make the fear subside; and nothing will make it hurt any less. That said, the one thing I hope you can take some comfort in is knowing that you are surrounding by love, and no-matter what happens, you have so many people (myself included) that love you and will be here for you through everything.
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Thank you so much. You’ve got me crying. Those were beautiful words that mean so much to me.
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Lindsey I’m so sorry you’re still in beta hell. What a pain in the ass. From what I’ve been told/read you still may not see anything on an ultrasound until your beta reaches 2,000. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Happy to hear you took the day off, sounds like you needed it.
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Yes and I didn’t write you back cuz I fell asleep!!!!! So sorry Jen.
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This is terrible, really so shity I’m sorry. I just keep crossing my fingers that this turns around for you. XO
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Holy ned, you really are on an awful ride right now! I’m so glad you stayed on the meds AND you got the nice nurse. She’s just so nice and soft, her delivery is much better 😉 this is really shitty that you’re still in beta hell and I hope Wednesday will bring new light and you’ll be released from it’s confines. Thinking of you lots.
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Thank you. Love how you know exactly who I’m talking about. Haha
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Oh yes…oy vey 😬
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this waiting and not knowing one way or the other has to be the worst, ugh!! hoping you can get that ultrasound soon for a definitive answer!
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Oh I’m so glad you got the nice nurse, but what an awful day. Here just aren’t word, girl. I am so sorry things are so bumpy for you guys right now. Still praying for your little girl and hoping that she’s just a slow starter and not ectopic. *hugs
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I’m so sorry you’re still in beta hell hon. Praying your beta is high enough on Wednesday that they can do an ultrasound and give you some real answers. I have to admit, I’m also relieved you continued to take your meds because I’m still hoping your little one is just fine and playing a beta trick on you. Hugs hon. Thinking about you…
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I’m so, so heartbroken to hear you’re going through this. I had been wondering how you were (I messed up my reader settings somehow) and was sad to read what had transpired with your betas. You are in my thoughts and prayers. It’s truly unfair that you have to go through this.
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This is truly awful and no one should have to go through a hell like this. I am so so sorry and praying for a swift resolution for your agony and for a miracle outcome. Hugs.xx
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That’s just horrible. They need to figure things out. You have been stuck in beta hell long enough.
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I am SO sorry. Terribly sorry that you are going through this.
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Oh, dear one… This is so hard. Remember to be kind to yourself.
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I’ve been thinking about you a lot… sending you many, many prayers.
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I wish this could all just resolve for you, preferably positively. Thinking of you.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. I can’t even begin to describe how much my heart just breaks for you. I’ve been right where you are at with my first pregnancy and I know how hard it is. You are not alone. We are all here supporting you. Sending hugs.
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How long was it until you got a clear answer? I just don’t know how much longer this can drag out.
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I just read your TTC timeline. I am already 6 weeks. Seems that you found out the outcome usually around then.
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Oh Lindsey! I think about you and pray for you all the time! I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! Sending you lots of love!! *hug*
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Hi Lindsey. I can only imagine what you are going through. Glad you took the day off, you definitely deserve it. Keep on those meds and i’m hoping your baby is in the uterus and is growing ever so patiently. I’m praying for you!!
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Thank you! It’s hard not to hope for the best possible outcome.
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well if it helps at all…. i’m definitely on TEAM BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME for you!! I’m praying for you and your little bean… I know how much he/she is already loved. Hang in there and get lots of rest!! Try not to stress and keep the anxiety down (I know it’s hard though). Hang in there!!! xo
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I’ve been doing a decent job of keeping the anxiety down. It tends to skyrocket the hour or two before I’m waiting for results though.
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hang in there love!! xoxo
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So cruel life can be. You know you’ve been on my mind and in my heart and there I shall be keeping you, dear friend.
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Ugh, just sending you all the good stuff. Much love friend ❤
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Oh sweetie – I am so sorry. This is not how this was supposed to go! I am hoping you get answers soon. Continuing to send you light and love ❤
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How are you doing? I’ve been thinking of you! ❤
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I’m hanging in there. The past two days I’ve been emotionally stable which is better than the past weekend. Just waiting for beta #7. As bad as it sounds, I just want validation either way.
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Limbo Land, that is too much! I am a little surprised they are having you do so many betas for ectopic watch. Waiting is the worst. Hopefully you have (amazing) answers soon, but while you wait know that you have a huge support team right by your side!
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Oh honey, I’m so sorry. That really is hell. Still hoping for an answer that involves a miracle and growing baby in there.
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