I haven’t spoken to my sister since my birthday on July 23. I referenced why I am not talking to my sister in this post.
Between our egg retrieval and our transfer, I received 1 text message from her. She stated that she was still mad at me. She heard I was feeling nauseous and wanted to suggest I ask my doctor for the anti-nausea medication that she’s taking for her morning sickness.
I didn’t reply because:
- My nausea was not pregnancy-related. It was due to medication (Doxycyline and Dioxin). In fact, we hadn’t transferred yet so there was NO WAY it could be pregnancy-related.
- She clearly is still self-absorbed if she started her text with drama-filled words
Tonight, she called me.
Surprisingly, I answered.
She’s been on my mind lately. I thought maybe she was coming around.
She pretended as if nothing had happened. She told me that Dad told her I was going for my blood work this week and she wanted to know if we knew yet. I told her no, but that we were hopeful that things would work out. She asked me how I was feeling and a few other questions before dominating the conversation with tips and tricks from her own pregnancy experience.
At first, I didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to share in this experience with her. She also highly recommended the snoogle body pillow like AndiePants did.
But then, it continued to be ALL about her.
Her energy started to drain me.
The conversation came to an awkard lull and I decided to speak up.
I told her that I was still upset with her and that she couldn’t just pretend like nothing had happened. I had hoped for her support throughout my IVF but she had MIA throughout the entire process on top of telling me she didn’t agree with it before our cycle started.
She told me that her intentions were not to upset me. It was just my perception that upset me and I owed her an apology (HUH?).
I told her especially since she got pregnant with such ease, she should be supportive of whatever way we choose to pursue achieving our own pregnancy. As my sister, she should want the same happiness for me that she has found for herself.
She said she just didn’t agree with the financial cost of the treatment.
I told her how I spend my money is my own fucking business.
She said that she didn’t call to fight with me.
I told her that I appreciated that she called to check in on me, but if she can’t apologize, I can’t continue talking to her.
She told me she was going to hang up.
So, I hung up before she could.
Am I wrong to be so persistent?
She is the only subject that has brought me anxiety during the past 3 weeks. I felt it tonight and I felt it the day we arrived home when I tried to share my frustration about her text message with my Mom.
I’ve asked my parents to NOT share any information about me with her. They clearly can’t follow this request.
I’m not sure what to do.
Do I back down (like always) and apologize (for what I don’t know?)?
Or do I have a right to cut her out of my life?
I don’t have the strength to play her games. I don’t want to be a part of any game with her.
I think that HAS to be my choice. I need to do what’s right for me, my husband and our baby.
Peace is what we desire and my sister only creates chaos.