Remember the post I wrote about that elephant in the room? Yeah, that one. Well, that’s exactly how I felt on Sunday at our nephew’s 1st birthday party.
Everyone knew (or at least it felt that way), but no one would say anything about our upcoming IVF cycle – except my sister-in-law.
She asked how I was feeling about our upcoming IVF. I told her not as nervous as I was a month ago. Then, she asked if we were ready to go. I told her we still had to book our rental car, but I wasn’t finding as good of a deal as I had hoped to. She was shocked that it might cost $700.
Oh please! If you only knew how much cash I’ve wipe my vagina with and handed to the fertility clinics this year.
As much as $700 was more than I wanted to spend, it is pennies compared to everything else.
She tried. I guess I gotta give her some credit for asking.
My mother-in-law was kind enough to make me a gluten-free pasta salad. She doesn’t quite get that gluten-free doesn’t always require specialty foods. A garden salad would have done nicely. It was obvious that gluten-free meant only for the
freaks hippies (in)fertiles as barely anyone ate it except myself. They all knew it was for me though.
My sister-in-law’s best friend asked how our summer was and what we had done for vacation. I told her we hadn’t taken any, but we would be at the end of August. She just didn’t even respond. She didn’t walk or anything. She just sat there beside me as if she had never even asked the question. Dead silence. That was awkward.
In the end, I resolved to just play with the toddlers. Kid are much easier to deal with than adults, and most of these little ones could barely talk yet – even better.
One little guy crawled over to his diaper bag, got his bottle out, crawled back to me and wanted up. I placed him on my lap. He snuggled into my chest and drank his milk. This little guy chose me as his stand-in momma when his own momma wasn’t there.
I couldn’t help but notice everyone stare at us…
I hoped for once that watching me with a baby in my arms made them feel awkward.
Because it was anything but awkward to me. It was the highlight of my day.
Bless his sweet little soul. XO