From sadness grows beauty

I’ve been meditating and journalling this weekend to uncover some of my fear around our upcoming IVF cycle.

Fear = Failure

Fear (1)The main thing I’m afraid of is failing, again. The feelings that are associated with failure are heavy, dark and painful. 

Success = Moving Forward

SuccessThe feelings associated with success are light, airy and joyful.

This evening, I listened to a meditation by Yoga Goddess founder Zahra Haji. In this meditation, Zahra has you visualize the feelings within your heart and then release them to Mother Earth. Zahra explains that releasing feelings that no longer serve your good fertilizes the soil of your body and soul. Your tears are needed to cultivate and replenish the soil. This image resonates strongly with me. No matter what journey you are on, each aspect of life follows a cycle of birth, death and rebirth. To replenish yourself, you need to release the pain and be reborn as a stronger person.

GrowthEach fertility challenge is a lesson. Ultimately, you can’t move forward without facing the fear, the pain and the grief. Feel it, make space for it, and allow it to let go. Then, give your heart (and yourself) comfort and love. 

Through my word cloud exercise I realized that to be successful, I need to move forward NO MATTER WHAT THE OUTCOME. 

Wow. That concept is huge. 

I’m not planning for failure. I’m going into my IVF with an open heart and mind. No matter what happens, I will pick myself up and step forward. Personal growth is too fascinating to stay in the shadows of despair. 

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15 thoughts on “From sadness grows beauty

  1. I am truly jealous of your enlightenment right now! Thank you for putting this out there. I needed to read this sort of post first thing this morning. We’ve had so much stress the past week or so–I promised myself that today is the day I am going to focus on ME and try to get my head in a better place. IVF will not be kind to me if I don’t start trying to be kinder to myself.

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  2. This is awesome. I know you’ll do great in your IVF cycle. Before my IVF cycle, someone said to me “be prepared for unforeseen bumps in the road”. And it was the best advice. Our 1st IVF cycle failed, but we learned SO MUCH about what may be causing our issue. And learned that each step is a step closer to baby. Keep moving forward. You will hold your baby in your arms and you will cherish this journey 10x more!! I’m feeling super positive for your cycle!!!

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