Yeah, you guessed right. It’s time for another prego announcement and it definitely isn’t mine!
It’s my sister.
Yes, you read that correctly.
She got engaged last Saturday (as in just over a week ago). Friday afternoon, she contacted the family to discuss doing a destination wedding THIS December. Through our convo, she admitted to me that their timing is based on the fact that she’s pregnant!
W. T. F.
I’m not sad. I’m not mad (even though she did lie to me after calling numerous times last month to ask me questions about trying to conceive).
I’m just a bit shocked.
I knew they started trying. I wasn’t sure how serious they were and I didn’t expect another ”first month trying” prego announcement.
Why does this happen with everyone around me – sister, both sister-in-laws, my best friend’s wife?
I am even more disappointed in how my Mom and her reacted to our IVF especially since they both were aware of her pregnancy then.
Wake up people! When are you going to finally see that a whoopsie pregnancy is not in my cards?
Besides another niece or nephew, the best thing about this situation is that my sister’s drama-filled life will take some of the attention off of our upcoming IVF cycle. Score one for us.
I’ve said we will try to make it to the wedding. Most of my close girlfriends think that we shouldn’t even entertain the idea of going. Who knows what will happen between now and December?
No matter what, she still is my sister. I am happy for her fiancé and her.
I just wasn’t expecting all that this week… Life has a mysterious way of throwing you curve balls. There’s no doubt about that.
Awaiting Autumn 
All I can think of are curse words, so I’ll keep this short. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Not that your sister hit the jackpot but that the timing for you sucks and more importantly, your mom and sister have been insensitive idiots to you of late. Idiots was the nicest thing I could say that didn’t involve a curse word. Hugs, my friend.
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I actually feel like I’m handling it way better than I expected. You can’t change it so why bother worrying about it. Thanks for the hugs.
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That’s a great attitude.
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I wish your family was more supportive of you. At least you have all of our support! Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs!
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Hugs are much appreciated right now. Thanks
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I’m so sorry to hear this! I know exactly how those “first month trying” pregnancy announcements sting. It’s just not fair. And you’re right….it makes your mom & sis’s reaction to your IVF cycle that much worse in my book too. Thinking of you, I know this is tough!!! For me it was EXTREMELY tough when my sister was pregnant, but now that the baby is here I’m not mad at her anymore. Still jealous as hell, but not mad like I was at first. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!
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I think the worst part was she did complained and complained about how horrible it is to be pregnant. Oh Lindsey, you won’t like it! I responded with well it’s worth it because you are having a baby and she didn’t say much to that. :S
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That is the worst!! My sister complained a LOT to me too about being pregnant this past time, because she had really bad morning sickness. I told her that I read you were less likely to miscarry if you had horrible morning sickness, and that shut her up. I just don’t understand why they would think it was appropriate to bitch about that kind of stuff to US?!?!??? My sister now whines to me about how her baby won’t sleep much at night, keep in mind it’s her THIRD child too. While I’m over here all, “I’d love to be up all night with a newborn”….and I’ve dreamed about it for years now!
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If only they could spend one day in our shoes. :S
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For real!!
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I’m so disgusted–could they be any more obnoxious?! Geezus. But while they obviously think they have it made, lets assess the facts
1. First year of marriage is *hard*
2. It will be *harder* with an infant
3. The financial stress from a wedding and having a baby just months apart will make it the *hardest* (unless they’re rich–please don’t tell me they’re rich)
So, let her drive your mother crazy with this BS, while you will be busy being pregnant after this IVF.
XOXO
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Ya I wasn’t going to say it but I was like wtf why did you start trying if you wanted to be married first. She’s asking a lot of the family to go above and beyond to attend. Naw they aren’t rich, but they live a very, very comfortable lifestyle. Money is never an issue. Both work in the oilfield in Fort Mac. Has your hubby ever been up that far?
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At the risk of saying too much, that’s where he works (hence why I was like “If we move up there, then we can be *besties*”, cuz we’d probly live where you live).
What is their commute? Will she have to quit her job?
Cuz also going from a financially independent woman to a dependent spouse is *super hard* (then add 1st year of marriage & an infant). Bam! Sh*tstorm. XOXO
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They both work on site but live in Fort Mac. Wouldn’t it be funny if your hubs knew my future bro in law? I honestly think she doesn’t plan on going back to work. He can definitely financially sustain them. On his own, he makes way more than we do and we have decent salaries.
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It’s entirely possible (though we are definitely not trying to come “out of the closet” as infertile amongst his coworkers). I’m terribly curious what sort of work BIL does! XOXO
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Some sort of plant manager??? I dunno which one though but I could find out.
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Huh. Well there’s no telling if he knows my hubs, because my hubs is in the business of commissioning (building). And if they know each other, there’s a good chance they don’t like each other! Lol. XO
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Haha too funny! My sister does payroll for one of the companies so I doubt their paths would have crossed.
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Sorry you are going through all of this! Looking forward to seeing you Friday for some relaxing and venting!
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Thanks Sharla. I’ve actually been thinking about next Friday all weekend. 🙂
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i’m speechless and would like to reach through this computer and give you a big fat HUG. it’s painful, but also family – so it’s bittersweet. I think you should do what’s best for you (with regard to the wedding). I know it’s your sister, and you’ll do the right thing, but I think what matters most is how you feel… xo
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Very true. I don’t think we will make any decisions regarding attending until after our IVF. Thanks for the hugs. Xo
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Gosh this blows, I’m sorry all these pregnancy announcements are swirling around you. Your getting SO close to yours though!! I know IVF will be a good go for you two!
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Thanks I hope so too!
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Ouch. I can’t even relate to getting pregnant on the first try. That sounds so alien to us infertiles. I hope she gains sensitivity to your struggle and can learn to support you better.
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Thanks I hope so too! 0
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I feel for you! The surprise announcements are very challenging to deal with!
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😦 I’m so so sorry you had to find this out right now hon. This is always such a hard situation. Right before I found out I was pregnant, my brother called and told me his girlfriend is pregnant. I thought he was calling to tell me they were engaged, but instead he dropped that bomb on me. I remember feeling a lot of what you describe. IThey weren’t even trying. I got off the phone and bawled. The crazy thing though, is I took a test that same day and found I was pregnant too. We’re only 6 weeks apart and it’s kind of special to know our kids will be so close in age. If I hadn’t become pregnant though, I just know I was would still be finding this very hard.
Praying you will be pregnant soon too and you can enjoy being pregnant with your sister. Big hug hon!
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It would be nice to be pregnant together but she already doesn’t appreciate her miracle. I really don’t understand people.
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😦 Oh that just makes me so angry! I don’t understand people either.
Hugs hon. I’m so sorry you have to think about this right now!
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I’m so proud of your reaction but my reaction is BOOOOOOO. Why is it so stinking easy for some people? Not that your sister won’t but it’s people like that who don’t appreciate the miracle the pregnancy is. And then they don’t fully cherish their children. I work with these children on a daily basis and it’s just sad. I know you’ll be a great momma one day (soon!).
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Thanks Alexis!! That means so much to me.
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I understand…Hearing of my friends pregnancys and “oops pregnancies” causes me slight thoughts of stabbing and punching, but like you, I am trying to take the high road. ***hugs***
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Thanks Nicole 🙂
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My sister and law found out she was pregnant November last year (she is about to pop any day now) she is younger, living at home and just not as stable as us but we were still supportive for the same reason – she’s family, we love her and we love the baby growing inside of her. Then we lost our son a month later and it was really hard for me to be happy for her, especially finding out she was having a boy. Jealousy, at its finest. Now that I am pregnant again, I still feel jealousy towards her that she is irresponsible yet had an uneventful pregnancy. I try and tell myself to stop feeling this way, that it isn’t “her fault” but sometimes its hard to control those feelings. Hoping your IVF coming up is the one for you!
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Hey – hang in there. It’s hard when a sister or sister-in-law announces . . . you’re happy for them, but sad for yourself. Your day is coming. Good luck with your IVF.
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Thanks Jill!
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