With our IVF consult quickly approaching, some (in)fertile anxiety surfaced within me today.
I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected from my writing lately. I have so many ideas swirling in my head, but I have yet to get them down in words. Since starting is always half the battle, I took some time to use my words to release some of that pent-up FEAR and frustration.
I’m not much of a poet… but he’s my first attempt at an (in)fertility poem.
The (in)fertile mind
Infertility doesn’t define me.
But, oh how it does!
From every pill to every shot ,
To all the appointment dates
that dominate my calendar.
I premeditate responses to questions like,
“When will you start trying?” or
“How come you don’t have kids yet?”.
Damn you all.
It’s not for lack of trying.
Try, try, TRY…
That’s all we infertiles do.
Try to forget.
Try to forgive.
Try to take a break.
Try to continue.
Try not to succumb to the emotional havoc.
Our souls are broken, bruised and tormented.
We know our destiny is divine.
But when, oh when, will it be our time?