Home, relationships and the 2ww

I have a whole bunch to blurt out today, so here it goes…

Home life

Last Thursday while I was having my hormonal meltdown, my neighbour cut down all of the cedar trees that we along his fence line.

I used to LOVE the privacy and greenery surrounding our backyard. Now, I just feel like he is constantly watching us.

I’m not sure what to do! Backyard landscaping wasn’t really in the budget this year. I felt like my backyard sanctuary isn’t so peaceful any more. My husband says maybe next year we could build a higher fence and redo the deck with a privacy screen. Ugh – next year.

The kitchen is ALMOST done. We have a few spots to touch up on the walls and one drawer to rebuild (don’t ask).

I’ve also been going through my junk treasures to decide what to put in my garage sale. I’m hosting one at the beginning of June. Two of my girlfriends are going to join me to sell some baby stuff. It would be AWESOME if we are prego and can loot their pile before the sales start… but I’m not holding my breath. 

My one girlfriend is so strong. After having a really bad miscarriage almost 5 years ago, they have not been able to conceive. They tried IUI, but have decided to leave it at that.

She is selling the baby stuff that her sister-in-law gave to them for when they would have kids. That’s gotta be hard.

She’s done lots of soul searching to come to terms with only being an Auntie.  I pray everyday that they will receive a miracle.

Hey God – hopefully before June 7th when she sells all her free baby goods! haha

Relationships

Before this IUI, I heard from a few close friends, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law on my husband’s side.

I heard NOTHING from my parents.

I reminded my Dad on Thursday that we were going the next day, but they “forgot”?!?!

I got a text from him on Friday afternoon, on our 2 hour drive back from the clinic. It was a photo of my Mom holding my brother’s baby. Thanks Dad! So, I sent him the photo of me on the clinic table with my thumbs up.

He replied with, “Oh you’re not home. Sorry. Go ok today?”

I gave him a brief, “Yeah doctor was positive. Procedure was least painful but I’m cramping now. Counts were good”.

No response. 

I waited all night – all weekend in fact – to see if my Mom would message or call.

Who forgets that their daughter is going through an invasive medical procedure in the hopes of conceiving a child – their grandchild?

I didn’t even call on Mother’s Day (I had sent a gift and a card a week ahead of time, so I didn’t feel so bad).

Last night on my way home, I finally caved and picked up the phone. 20 minutes into the convo with my Mom, I brought it up. I told her I was shocked that out of everyone, my own parents were the ones who didn’t say “Good Luck!”.

She admitted that they had completely forgot (yeahhh they were too busy visiting my bro and his new baby – makes a person feel wonderful). I told her that it only takes 30 seconds to send a text. She apologized, but I’m really not sure it sunk in.

I’m not upset that they were with my bro, I’m just upset that they didn’t take the time to recognize what I was going through. I honestly thought my Mom would say something nice to me on Mother’s Day. Clearly, I was being naive. 

I don’t often feel like I need to lower my expectations with my own family, but I guess times are changing.

My husband did give me a card and two planters for Mother’s Day from the fur-babies. He has been recognizing Mother’s Day ever since we got our first chihuahua, long before we started trying to conceive. I am so grateful that he understands.

The 2ww

It’s 4 dpiui. No symptoms besides gassiness. Yesterday, I was bloated and crampy but it seems to have subsided.

I’m feeling a bit defeated today. My husband suggested we get away for a weekend next month, but I feel like everything is pending the outcome of this 2ww.

I’m staying positive by doing some daily affirmations and avoiding Google as much as possible. 🙂 

My husband insisted that I skip my ball game last night to take it easy, but I am going tomorrow. I’m don’t want to completely put my life on hold.

And it is super hard when people don’t “get it”. One of my team mates told me to “Get well soon!”. hahaha Right. 

Anyway… that’s it for now!