Home, relationships and the 2ww

I have a whole bunch to blurt out today, so here it goes…

Home life

Last Thursday while I was having my hormonal meltdown, my neighbour cut down all of the cedar trees that we along his fence line.

I used to LOVE the privacy and greenery surrounding our backyard. Now, I just feel like he is constantly watching us.

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I’m not sure what to do! Backyard landscaping wasn’t really in the budget this year. I felt like my backyard sanctuary isn’t so peaceful any more. My husband says maybe next year we could build a higher fence and redo the deck with a privacy screen. Ugh – next year.

The kitchen is ALMOST done. We have a few spots to touch up on the walls and one drawer to rebuild (don’t ask).

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I’ve also been going through my junk treasures to decide what to put in my garage sale. I’m hosting one at the beginning of June. Two of my girlfriends are going to join me to sell some baby stuff. It would be AWESOME if we are prego and can loot their pile before the sales start… but I’m not holding my breath. 

My one girlfriend is so strong. After having a really bad miscarriage almost 5 years ago, they have not been able to conceive. They tried IUI, but have decided to leave it at that.

She is selling the baby stuff that her sister-in-law gave to them for when they would have kids. That’s gotta be hard.

She’s done lots of soul searching to come to terms with only being an Auntie.  I pray everyday that they will receive a miracle.

Hey God – hopefully before June 7th when she sells all her free baby goods! haha

Relationships

Before this IUI, I heard from a few close friends, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law on my husband’s side.

I heard NOTHING from my parents.

I reminded my Dad on Thursday that we were going the next day, but they “forgot”?!?!

I got a text from him on Friday afternoon, on our 2 hour drive back from the clinic. It was a photo of my Mom holding my brother’s baby. Thanks Dad! So, I sent him the photo of me on the clinic table with my thumbs up.

He replied with, “Oh you’re not home. Sorry. Go ok today?”

I gave him a brief, “Yeah doctor was positive. Procedure was least painful but I’m cramping now. Counts were good”.

No response. 

I waited all night – all weekend in fact – to see if my Mom would message or call.

Who forgets that their daughter is going through an invasive medical procedure in the hopes of conceiving a child – their grandchild?

I didn’t even call on Mother’s Day (I had sent a gift and a card a week ahead of time, so I didn’t feel so bad).

Last night on my way home, I finally caved and picked up the phone. 20 minutes into the convo with my Mom, I brought it up. I told her I was shocked that out of everyone, my own parents were the ones who didn’t say “Good Luck!”.

She admitted that they had completely forgot (yeahhh they were too busy visiting my bro and his new baby – makes a person feel wonderful). I told her that it only takes 30 seconds to send a text. She apologized, but I’m really not sure it sunk in.

I’m not upset that they were with my bro, I’m just upset that they didn’t take the time to recognize what I was going through. I honestly thought my Mom would say something nice to me on Mother’s Day. Clearly, I was being naive. 

I don’t often feel like I need to lower my expectations with my own family, but I guess times are changing.

My husband did give me a card and two planters for Mother’s Day from the fur-babies. He has been recognizing Mother’s Day ever since we got our first chihuahua, long before we started trying to conceive. I am so grateful that he understands.

The 2ww

It’s 4 dpiui. No symptoms besides gassiness. Yesterday, I was bloated and crampy but it seems to have subsided.

I’m feeling a bit defeated today. My husband suggested we get away for a weekend next month, but I feel like everything is pending the outcome of this 2ww.

I’m staying positive by doing some daily affirmations and avoiding Google as much as possible. 🙂 

My husband insisted that I skip my ball game last night to take it easy, but I am going tomorrow. I’m don’t want to completely put my life on hold.

And it is super hard when people don’t “get it”. One of my team mates told me to “Get well soon!”. hahaha Right. 

Anyway… that’s it for now!

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27 thoughts on “Home, relationships and the 2ww

  1. I feel like I have been planning everything around the outcome of our 2ww as well. It’s so difficult when others don’t understand. Especially when it is your parents, the ones that are supposed to always be there. Stay as positive as possible and know that the blogger world is with you =)

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  2. Haha, “May the post be with you”. Sorry, I love the geek humor. Back to the main point of this blog though, It sucks to have to lower your expectations. I have had to do the same. In an attempt to comfort me recently, my mom in law used the words “when you get over it….”! I couldn’t believe my ears but I’m not even certain she meant it the way it sounded. I’m sorry they forgot about your procedure. Sending virtual hugs and good thoughts your way.

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  3. I have a similar relationship with my parents. We really don’t talk about personal things though as I know they would act the same way yours did. This past weekend we had a joint 30th bday party (me) and college graduation party (my sister). My parents or siblings didn’t bother to say happy birthday or anything. I’m still upset about it. You shouldn’t have to lower expectations for family but sometimes I ask myself the same questions. I guess this is why I don’t open up to mine. Thankfully I have several friends and my husband who have been super supportive through all of this. This blogging community has been one of the best things that happened to me. I am praying this is your cycle and you finally get what you want. Try not to let others bring you down – there are many others who truly care! 🙂

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  4. Awe, sweet husband! *sigh* Sorry that your family is acting so clueless.
    I don’t know how your friend is dealing with parting with her baby stuff (symbolizing parting with the dream of motherhood). I hope she takes the money from the garage sale and treats herself to a spa day. XO

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  5. Wow, the kitchen looks great. That yard sale sounds fun, your friend is so brave. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that. I totally get you on the “planning around your 2ww”, I totally do that too! Sorry you had a bad day, I had a pretty low day too….lots of crying.

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  6. I’m so sorry your parents don’t get it hon, but I echo what everyone else has said. You have a wonderful and supportive hubby AND we are always here for you too. Sending extra thoughts to your friend. My heart aches for her and how hard the sale day will be for her. Praying this is the one hon ❤

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  7. Your kitchen looks great : ) What a transformation to be proud of & we cant even see the drawer issues! Also couldn’t help my self but laugh at the “get well soon” comment. Really?! I will be keeping you in my prayers!

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  8. I’m sorry your feeling defeated. Remember how strong you are just for having to deal with this terrible IF journey and coming out stronger for it each month with your supportive hubby. You will get there, I just KNOW! I’m right here reading, praying and hoping for your future children to show up sooner than later. Xo

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  9. Your kitchen is GORGEOUS! And that super sucks about the backyard. I’d be pretty pissed, too. I’m sorry your parents aren’t being more sensitive about all you’re going through and I know how much that can hurt. I’m glad you were able to express your feelings to your mom, though. Avoiding Google during the TWW is key! Fingers, toes, arms, and legs still crossed for you.

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  10. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you! I may not know you personally, but through your writing I feel this connection to you and I truly hope the world for you and your husband.

    I’m also sorry your parents didn’t acknowledge your big day. You are amazingly patient and kind….I may have thrown my phone across the room – and then stomped on it.

    P.S I LOVE your kitchen!

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  11. Awesome kitchen! I realize I am a little late to the game, so to speak, but I think exercise you’d normally do is fine. However if you or your husband might question whether a game of softball (or any other exercise) affected the outcome if things didn’t work out, it might not be worth it. Anyway, you won’t need to worry because this IUI is going to work!

    I’m sorry about mom and dad. I suspect my parents would be the same. Maybe not my mom but she’s no longer with us. Only family in my life who ever acknowledges what’s up for us on the days when it matters is my sister-in-law who also suffered with infertility. I think other people just don’t get it the same way because they haven’t been there.

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