The other night, my husband and I were arguing. It was a typical fight for us. I bring up something that is bothering me – usually an issue with his family. He doesn’t want to talk about it, so he shuts me out. I get mad that he doesn’t want talk. I yell. He refuses to talk. I yell again. We both say hurtful things (that we always try to take back afterwards). We try to go to bed on peaceful terms but the stench of the argument still lingers in the air.
Often in these moments, we both bring up “what ifs” from the past.
“Remember that time YOU DIDN’T do this…”
“What if this never happened, then where would we be, HUH?”
Yesterday, I stumbled upon this article on MindBodyGreen: Are you letting others steal your happiness?
Wow. Talk about putting things into perspective.
You can’t change the past. You can’t undo what has already happened.
“What if” moments are energy-draining, life-sucking and POINTLESS.
You will never know the answer to “What if we started trying to conceive sooner?” or “What if we tried to have sex just one more time that ovulation week?“.
None of it matters because none of it can be changed.
Reflection is only worthwhile if a lesson is learned.
I gave my husband some much needed alone time last night to digest everything that has been going on this week – with himself, with me, with his family and with trying to conceive. We got to a place where we both could calmly discuss the issues.
This time, our lesson is that we can’t let my husband’s family steal our happiness (because we sure as hell know they aren’t spending the time worrying about us). We need to let go of the hurt from the past 2 years of trying to conceive and focus on what we can do support each other moving forward. Our happiness is our #1 priority.
Be in the here; in the now. Trust that you are where you are supposed to be.
Don’t let the “what ifs” steal your happiness.
Watch this video to hear Jennifer Pastiloff talk more about maintaining your happiness: