(In)fertility & your career

CD 3.

Yes Aunt Flo arrived on Friday. Whohoo! I mean it when I say I’m happy she’s here.

In my last post, (In)fertility land limbo= lots of time to ponder, I mentioned that fertility treatments can cause stress not only on your personal life, but also your professional life.

Last week, my boss asked me to travel to our head office to attend some meetings in-person. The timing potentially conflicts with our next IUI cycle. I’ve decided it’s time to tell my boss that we are going through fertility treatments. Tonight, I drafted an email to send to him.

I predict that my boss will be more than understanding. I already know that my workplace is flexible and accommodating, but I think being honest with him will make me less stressed if I have to reschedule work meetings due to conflicting fertility appointments.

Before I send that email,  can I get your advice?

Does your employer know that you are going through fertility treatments? How did you tell them? How much detail did you give them? Did it affect your career or position at all?

If not, how do you explain your reoccurring need to be absent for medical reasons?

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15 thoughts on “(In)fertility & your career

  1. Hi, friend!! I have been very upfront with my boss about our treatments. Mostly because I felt that asking to miss parts of work days needed a really incredible excuse for my position. Thankfully nothing has changed. My pay d and position are secure. As for much I him, everything that would affect my availability. I find this discretion has made it easier. Thinking of you!!!!

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  2. My employer doesn’t know about my treatment but I’ve been lucky in that my house and office are both only about 20 minutes from my fertility clinic. Plus for one of my IUIs I was scheduled to work late in the day so I had it and then went to work and was on time. The first IUI made up an excuse about a last minute cancellation for a drs appt I had been waiting for. And for this week I am just going to call in sick for the whole day because this will be our last one before we take a break and then I don’t have to worry. So I’m no help at all to you, but I would say in your case honesty is the best policy, and will probably cause you less stress in the end. I know my boss would e totally understanding if I told her but I just don’t want to have that conversation.

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  3. My employer knows I am going to medical appointments, but my boss said he didn’t want to know what it was and it is my business (which means I think he already knows. ) Having already gone through multiple IUI and an IVF treatment, it had been kind of difficult for me to hide it. I feel very supported and I think more so because they know. Good luck with your employer!

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  4. When I was going through my diagnosis taking days off and working from home I told my boss the situation. Him and his wife had gone through secondary infertility that resulted in him and his wife only having one child. He was very understanding and gave me some great advice that proved to be a key part of the decisions we made. He even offered to let me take some mental time off. Some bosses are understanding. I was lucky. But others aren’t and it’s unfortunate.

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  5. I did talk to my boss, but not until we were about to undergo IVF. I never spoke to management about any of my previous treatments as they were happening (IUI, clomid cycles, etc.). I just made things up as to why I would be a little late, or need a random Wednesday off. When I did finally tell my boss what we were about to undergo, he was super supportive. Huge weight lifted!

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  6. I’m kind of toying with this idea now. Do you mind sharing your email with me? I’m really not even sure how to approach the subject, but I think email would be the best/easiest way to do so. I’m just always so anxious about missing work for appointments….I think it’s okay, but I’m not positive.

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  7. When I was working, I was open with my employer. I’m so glad I was too because it was really the best thing to do. It took so much stress off my plate. I’m so glad everything went well and you sent the email 🙂

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  8. Pingback: Infertility & the workplace | Infertility, why me?

  9. I unfortunately did not have such a positive reaction at my last company, which is why I left. I was up for a promotion to a VP of Marketing position and had a miscarriage. I missed a huge meeting because I was in the hospital having a D&C and had to come clean to my boss. After that my boss never mentioned promoting me again. It could have been a coincidence but the truth is once I discussed what was going on I think I was “mommy tracked”. My boss was supportive and empathetic of me undergoing fertility treatments, but obviously drew the line at putting me in a prominent leadership role. I am really happy that your conversation went well for you. It’s not an easy one to have.

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    • I have similar worries. I have been given extra responsibility lately and I was worried they might take it away. It’s hard to be a woman, let alone a mother, in a corporate environment. My previous place of employment no one in a leadership role had children. I switched jobs prior to us trying to conceive on purpose because I wanted to find a workplace that had better work/life balance. At my previous employer, I would have never been allowed to leave as much as I do now for all of my fertility appointments. Jenna – have you had better luck at your new job?

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  10. I recently told my boss because I needed flexibility to receive treatments. Plus, the day I found out my betas dropped and that the MC was coming, I left in tears and felt I owed him an explanation. It has made it easier to have them know what’s going on.

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